we've been exclusively dating for more than a month now. he started sweet.. but now the sweetness is fading. i've expected that we'd already be in a committed relationship by now.. but why isn't our relationship progressing? what's he waiting for? i can't also say that he doesnt like me coz he makes effort to see me 4 times a week. but when i'm with him he's not that lively. is he just tired from work?(are men really like that when tired from work?) is he taking it slow? is he not yet ready to commit, which i doubt or he's just not that into me and is just waiting for the right time to end it? or..... am i just too paranoid? am i just expecting too much?
i am planning to talk to him and tell him no pressure, but i just want to know if this relationship is going somewhere so that i'd stop trying to analyze him and know once and for all... would that be the best thing to do?
2007-06-24 06:14:17 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
stop overthinking it and let nature take its course
2007-06-24 06:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a month, whoa girl, put the brakes on your expectations and emotions!
First of all, a month is NOT enough time for some people to decide if they want to become more committed to another. If he's seeing you 4 times a week, I doubt he's having much time to stray elsewhere so in a sense he's made a choice that he wants to see you. And I sense a bit of that you're waiting for it to end so stop that and enjoy the relationship.
Second, you are probably subliminally putting pressure on him that you want something more and that will take the bloom off of like/love everytime.
And depending on his job, he could be very tired when he gets home. Are you working somewhere? If not, maybe you should in order to be more sympathetic. A lot of guys just want to hang out watching tv or something after work and not always be out going somewhere. Do your expectations match there?
I wouldn't talk to him but I would back off in your pressure and cool it some. Be fun to be around, you know? And I'd get yourself busy doing other stuff so you won't spend too much time analyzing things. We women always do that and it's a killer to a relationship.
Good luck, live in the present, and be cool.
2007-06-24 13:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by DSatt57 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all i hear from you is "he, he, he." what is he thinking? is he taking it slow? he does this. he does that. ok, you obviously are very familiar with the phrase, "he's just not that into you." you maybe have even read the book. good for you! now, as an outsider, i think he is into you. but, the reason why he's not as into you as when you first started dating is because it sounds like you are too available, and leaving no mystery to you or this relationship. things have already become routine. you need to start thinking about you, girl. and, stop over analyzing this situation. don't talk to him about this or ask where things are going. if anything, that's going to turn him off. i know this because of the fact that you've said that his behavior towards you has diminished the past week or so (basically). so, he'll probably get annoyed if you ask him that. my best advice to you is to not be so available. don't jump up and down, and say yes, everytime he asks you out. start living your life and doing your own thing. see him 2 or 3 times a week, not 4. he'll start wondering why and what's up. when he asks, just say, "oh, i've just been crazy busy." (in a nice, polite manner). guys like girls that are independent and not always so predictable. they don't like girls that are insecure, dependent, naggy, etc. i'm not saying that's what you are. i'm just saying be careful how you act and what you say for men are very quick to play those cards. like i said, i think he's into you. i think that when he says that he's tired after working all day, he's tired. you just need to give him a little space and do your thing. i can promise you that you'll get further in your relationship this way.
good luck!
p.s. have you read the book "why men love bitches." you should buy it. it's a good read, funny, great dating guide, etc.
2007-06-24 13:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by loves21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, quit over analyzing. It has only been a month and you are already driving yourself crazy. He sounds like a good guy, and yes guys are tired when they get home from work. They just want to relax, eat and check out the computer or T.V.
Don't worry so much. You are probably the only one who thinks you are not in a commited relationship, he probably does. Guys are not that verbal when it comes to defining relationships. Guys are not like girls at all. All the stuff that you are thinking about, has probably never crossed his mind.
2007-06-24 13:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by Crazy_Fool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the bottom line is you need to figure out if this guy makes you happy or not. Because maybe his idea of a good time is sitting around the house with you, while you might enjoy doing something more active with him. Try suggesting that you guys go out and do something and see what he says. If he never does anything with you, he's either not that into you or he's just a lazy person and you should look for a new guy to hang out with.
2007-06-24 13:29:33 · answer #5 · answered by lkhoffma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Lol! You think it should be serious after a month? Hun calm down!! Even if he is really "in to" you, you're going to scare him off. You would scare any man in their right mind off, talking like that. Also he might be tired all the time because you are excessive with how you think the relationship should be, maybe he just wants to relax and take it easy with you for a while. That does not mean that he is not in to you, that means that he has a more realistic view of how relationships work, they aren't supposed to be serious after a month! You're freaking yourself out, you're freaking me out, and God knows you 're freaking your boyfriend out! So I say again, CALM DOWN
2007-06-24 13:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by IvoryPixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We guys need our down time to relax. We like having you women around, but don't need the constant attention that women do. He is probably into you sexually, which is what most new relationships are based on anyway. Relations grow or die, based on what happens when you're not being intimate. So give him some space. If he is coming over four times a week, he is interested in something.
2007-06-24 13:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by Charles S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, get out now! All relationships will start out this way somewhat, but it wont fade that quickly. My husband started off the same way. He was so sweet and loving. I was gone for work out of town for a week and he came to visit me. He said he was not going to push me so hard... he lost most of his affection for me at that pt.
He is always tired. He works and sleeps and does nothing else. Get out now or you will end up miserable like me in an affectionless relationship 8 yrs later.
2007-06-24 13:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by animal lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've got a bf who's really passive. He's a couch potato and probably hasn't even thought about commitment. If you're okay with his personality, and realize you'll probably have to wear the pants in this relationship, you'll have to bring up the L word and the C word, because he's happy just hanging out.
2007-06-24 13:19:39 · answer #9 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh.. that's a BÄ°G problem. I think you should talk to your date right away. But I think he is tired from work. I think he still cares about you. That's why he sees you 4 times a week.
2007-06-24 13:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A month? Its not that serious after a month lol its not like you're on the brink of mairrage....sorry. But if hes not caring as much as before you need to talk to him and say baby this is how I feel, honestly yahoo people who haven't met either of you won't be able to analyze this, sorry.
2007-06-24 13:18:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋