Why is it that step parents?

Question

people that married people that had kids doesn't want to be a part of thier life? Did they think the kids would just go away?
Didn't they ever consider that the kids might come to live with them?
I have a step daughter and her life is just as important to me as my own children. Rather she has problems or is perfect this is my husbands child and truly our problem as well as her "real " moms problems.
She is a good kid, but even if she wasnt it is all our responability becasue she is a child.

you are right SOME IS THE KEY WORD.

I wasnt gloating that I do this, this question was asked because of another question i sseen and it sicken me that people really believed that the kids just go away.
I will gloat that my step daughter is a very important part of my life rather I gave birth or not and I love her as much as my own children.

Answer 1

Totally agree, and wish other people would place ANY children in the family at the highest priority. That or not get married. It's that simple.

Answer 2

I'm not sure, I believe that they just assume that you wont ask them to help and some are stupid enough to believe that. I didn't have a father and at twenty I finally feel what a dad is like. My mother's boyfriend calls myself his daughter and my son grandson and it feels good. I remember when I was 12 she had a boyfriend that only claimed my sister rather than me. Maybe because I told him I hated him but regardless that was wrong. I think some people are just so stupid they don't want to be apart of your childrens life only their own kids. It's sad but true. You and your husband are great step parents!

Answer 3

You are so very right......... Some are just selfish. Heck my best friend has 5. I'm there for her children way more then her new husband ( of 4 years) is, If they need anything they always ask me first, Because I never say no and he does.

He wants to be the center of my friends attention and throws a baby fit if he isn't. He EXPECTS her to ignore the kids to make sure he gets his way. They come and stay with me alot. ages 4-16. Last year the 16 yr old got pregnant. She came and stayed with me because all he would say to her was that she was a little whore. When she lost the baby he told her to go shake her money maker and make another ......

Needless to say this man does not like me because I went after him with both barrels. All kids make mistakes, He didnt have to be rude and mean to her. It was the boy they knew she was seeing, and they knew he was 19. I dont know what they thought was going to happen.

If you marry someone with kids, you need to be there for the children even thou they arent yours... Its a package deal. No way to seperate it. Does not matter if the children live with them or not..... They could, deal with it

I do not agree with the woman below me.............. She really needs to count herslf lucky that her man is good to her child, and is infact a true man.......... but like i said she got lucky. Some change their colors after marriage....... I didnt think your question was out of line..... There are alot of horible step parents.

But who really cares if you just want to gloat in her words......... You have the right too if your good to the child !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Way to go....

What is yahoo answers truly for?????

Its basically a debate board.... u have the right to ur own option...... but some if they dont like it they repor it.... some people need to step away from the keyboard and have a life outside of yahoo answers. How many of you would still be a member if this was a paid site? Id say less then 40%

Answer 4

My Mom remarried and I was adopted by my Moms 2nd husband,He is my Father! .my brother and sister were taught that I was there sister, not half or step, those words were not part of our vocabularies, I have treated my boyfriends daughter as my own since the very first day we were together, much to her dismay, may I add. She doesn't care for the fact I have any say so in her life, but I am taking her mothers place when she is with us and will love and treat her as a mother should.

Answer 5

I have to agree... it makes no sense to go into a relationship without assuming ALL of the responsibility of that relationship. And it's true that our responsibility to the children are shared, whether our own bloodline or not. Children need positive experiences, influences and love to make it to adulthood as happy and motivated people! Good question!!! :)

Answer 6

I'm a step-parent.

My munchkin lives with us 24/7. I consider him my son and treat him as such.

I have found that most step-parents treat their children equitably. I have also found that good step-parents operate quietly, under the radar, while bad step-parents get LOTS of press.

It might help if step-parents themselves support one another in what is, arguably, a difficult and not always rewarding role.

I, personally, have a great relationship with my son. But I know hard-working, kind, and loving step-parents who are still not much more than convenient punching bags for the step-children and other parent(s).

Remember them, too.

Answer 7

I agree 100%.

My husband was a step-child. His step-mother didn't even want him and his sister to live with his dad! How sad? She made their lives miserable with them while they were there. Now she calls herself 'the evil step-mother' as if it's something to laugh about.

She tried at times but didn't stick with it. She was horrible to begin with but then when the kids started acting up she wondered why. Gosh, I just don't understand it.

How simple is it that if you don't want to deal with having children or the problems that naturally will come with children of divorced parents not to marry a man/woman with children? Oh well...I can't save the world.

Check out this question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmG_9tOoON2Raj9_PrETFN_sy6IX?qid=20070624074943AA7iKEf&show=7#profile-info-a88ecfc37bd63dc24f16a5224e7a6672aaI thought it was great. LOL! Good question!

EDIT--I believe this quesiton meant *some* step-parents. Of course there are great ones out there but *some* are horrible and give 'em all a bad name.

Answer 8

that is a nasty generalisation, my fiance treats my 4 your old exactly the same as our other 2 children and always has. Think before you put up such offensive questions, this "question" just looks like you trying to gloat!

You are right there are plenty of nasty step parents out there but there just as many if not more good ones, this person is not special because she looks after her step child!
This is a place for asking and answering questions, not loving yourself so no why should she gloat!

The word some is not mentioned once and yea fine gloat but not here thats not what yahoo answers is for, if every parent came on here to gloat there would be no questions asked.

I cannot belive you can't see the offensive side to this "question".

Answer 9

i totally agree i have a stepmother and she is horrible she kicked me to the curb talked my dad into moving to Texas good thing i was 22 she did not want me to move with them
she really got her claws in to him now its all about her and her kids i might as well not even exist. i am 35 now and still to this day have alot of issues with it

Answer 10

You're absolutely right--and I see this happen too often; step-parents even becoming jealous of their own step-children. If you want a spouse all to yourself--don't have kids--and don't marry anyone who has kids...

Just my opinion :)