My four year-old son thinks he's ugly. What's the best way to approach this or do I just leave it alone?

Question

I've already told him he's not ugly and that God made him beautiful. I don't wanna make a big deal out of it, he doesn't, but I want him to see that he is beautiful.

Answer 1

Tell him everyone looks different than each other and what some find attractive others may not find attractive. Remind him that his looks will change over the years and next year he won't look like he does now but you think he looks good now.
Your opinion won't count much with him, every mother thinks their kid is cute so get someone else to say nice things about his looks. Maybe grandma on his dad's side can happen to say he looks like his dad did at that age and his dad was a beautiful child.
My niece told me she was on a diet when she was 5 so didn't want chocolate cake. Later she did want chocolate cake but told me it was OK to eat cake on a diet if you brush your teeth after. She was a very skinny little girl but her mom and mom's sisters were always on diets and she didn't quite understand the word, she didn't think she was fat.

Answer 2

Well, perhaps he has heard others critize other's apparence and is afraid he falls into the same category...Reassure him he is perfect just the way he is and be sure not to let him hear you say negative things about yourself or others..this is a key reason children begin to have self-esteem issues. If they hear you saying bad things about your body,hair,ect. or someone else's, they carry that with them and remember you don't like that charactistic....One way you may want to try making him feel at ease with his apparence is to take him for a photoshoot...kindly tell the photographer to praise him when he smiles or poses,make a big deal out of how great the photos turned out and buy some to share with family and friends.. this will maybe help set his mind at ease with how he looks.

Answer 3

You are probably doing the best thing you could be doing. Don't make it a big deal. Just keep telling him that every once in a while as reasurance. If it is still happening when he gets older, then I would worry about it a LITTLE more. Hope it helped!

xxx

Answer 4

Have you tried to get the reason he thinks this? Perhaps someone told him, perhaps he wants to look like Spiderman? Perhaps you need to recognize some little thing he does that makes him special and focus on that. The little guy needs a boost to his ego. cute!

Answer 5

Personally, I would bank he has 'heard' this term used by either you or someone close that he's with regularly. It's not nesasarily that he 'believes' this of himself @ 4 yrs. old. Try saying posotive things OF self & others around him with him in ears distance of conversation, see if that helps... just an idea.

Answer 6

at 4 years old kids say all kinds of silly things thats like my 4 year old daughter telling me she is fat. They pick up on their surroundings and they are starting to notice different things. what i did when my daughter told me she was fat i would laugh and say "your such a silly little girl your not fat your skinny minnie" and then give her kisses and such. don't dwell on it and dont act like its a big deal that he thinks that just act like he is joking or "being silly" if you make a big deal out of it so will he!

Answer 7

Wow thts pretty young to be thinking that, whre in the world would he even get that from? I would just keep telling him that he is cute, compliment him more, tell him he has to be cute because its impossible for you to make ugly babies, lol

Answer 8

Without making it into an issue, just be sure to tell him often that he's the most hansome boy any mummy (mommy) could have.

Answer 9

He would not come up with the idea on his own. Find out who gave him the idea and deal with that person. Hard.

Answer 10

Dress him up neatly and take pictures of him. Compile those pictures in an album and scan those pictures with him once in a while so he would notice that you supremely admire his appearance. ;-)