My boyfriend is part of my circle of friends and there is so much pressure on us to stay together because we always hang out as a group, but he's older than me and getting too serious too soon. I just want to be single again but I know he will be so hurt. How do I break up with him so that we can still be friends afterwards?
2007-06-24 01:42:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was totally going through the exact same thing. The hard part for me though, was that I met his family and fell in love WITH THEM. He wasn't that great of a boyfriend AT THE TIME(just like your guy, he was too serious...and jealous). It was hard for me to break it off with him, and yes, it was awkward because he claimed I "ripped his heart out of his chest" but we ended up hangin' out again and now we're best friends...and his family still loves me. Our relationship is cool now but we still have those moments when we act like jealous partners but otherwise, it's all good.
ANYWAYS, just reassure him that you two are going to stay friends and make an attempt to be his friend...it's the least a girl can do. Just, whatever you do, don't give him the wrong idea. You don't want to hurt him just by acting flirty once and awhile.Ya know?......unless you want to get back together.... ;)
2007-06-24 02:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the first thing you have to do is be honest with him about how you feel and the pressure that you believe is being put on you to stay together. Then explain to him that you would prefer to be single for now and be sure to say it in a way which doesn't leave him feeling like he's a horrible person.
If he's mature and understanding, then you shouldn't have any problems being friends afterwards. But if he has strong feelings for you, he may need some time before he's willing to be "just friends", so be understanding and give him some space until he's ready to become friends again.
2007-06-24 02:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by nlugay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That might not be possible - but that does not matter - what matters is that you tell him how you feel truthfully. If you do that then everything should work out as you want it - probably better than you realized it would. There is no game plan that you can really have except to be honest with him and response well to his statements. If he is going to be mad that is on him. If you handle the situation with honesty and the friendship you say you share with him and want to keep then it will all work out. If you are doing it only out of peer-pressure and dishonesty then it will go badly between you and him.
I am sorry that you feel he is getting to serious for you too quickly but I wonder have you told him this or are you thinking he should just "know." Guys can seem pretty dimwitted to women at times and he just might not know he is coming off that way to you.
Good Luck!!!
2007-06-24 01:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a kind as you possibly can be during and after the break up. Cut off all communication with him for at least three months. Then you have the possibility of remaining friends over the long term. Communicating too early just drags out the break-up and suggests that there is hope when there is not. Regardless since he's in your circle of friends, it will be a little sticky, but adhere to the no communication...you will be glad (and he will be glad) you did in the long run.
Good luck.
2007-06-24 01:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by c_schumacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want to break up with him? Or have him pump his brakes? If he is moving too fast then why don't you say that he needs to slow down and you feel things are going too fast. But if you just really want to be single, you should just tell him that he is moving too fast and you're not ready for this type of relationship @ this rate & you need some time or space but you still want to hang out. Don't expect him to just jump at the idea though.
2007-06-24 01:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wont! He will be upset. No matter how you go about it, it will be hard. Also, expect to lose a few other friends along the way. If you're all friends you wont know where the loyalties really lie until you do. Most girls would kill for their boyfriend to be serious, so its obvious you're not interested anymore.
You may need to find new friends anyway. Its hard to date new guys and expect them all to accept him, when they apparently like your old one a lot. And still hang around him.. Not a good scene. If you break up, just be courteous enough to him to WAIT A WHILE.....dont rub it in his face.
2007-06-24 01:55:10 · answer #6 · answered by blerchus4incapet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you decide not to be with him anymore, then it will be his decision whether you will be friends anymore. Chances are, you wont be able to hang out with the same group for a while. How about instead of breaking up with him, you talk to him about how you feel and what YOU want from the relationship - he probably thinks everything is going great (and sounds like you're about to break his heart without giving him a decent chance).
2007-06-24 01:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by Dave F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quite frankly, I don't believe in breaking up and stll being friends.
I can understand that you don't want to hurt him. And staying friends seems like a good idea. But from his point of view it is not.
Breaking up with him means that you rip his heart out, but then want to be friends. It is basically telling him that is not good enough to have all, but good enough to stay around so he can hear all the gut wrenching details of you and new lovers. Waht makes you think he will even want that?
2007-06-24 02:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by Hockey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make it as easy as possible. Ultimately it will be his decision whether or not he wants to stay friends. At first it would probably be best to keep some distance, but depending on how long you have been together, he should get over it to a degree. Just make it clear that you still care for him.
2007-06-24 01:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by Todd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him..
Tell him you are not ready for commitment.
If he really does love you he will understand and not presure you into doing anything.
If not just go for it. Tell him what you are feeling and he should understand. If you end up splitting up friendship could be hard at first but maybe a few months things may slowly get back to normal
All the best
x
2007-06-24 01:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by Just_Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋