My fiance and I, after living together, finally decided to tie the knot next year. We had minor preparations already and sent notice to some of our closest friends. The wedding would be a small intimate ceremony with only the family and close friends as guests, so we did not see the need to really plan ahead of time, like a year before.
The problem now is my fiance's older brother announced that he will get married next year. When my fiance talked to him regarding our plan, he said that we never told him before hand, although I am certain that we did. Now, he is saying that we should get married this year because theirs will be next year. It's tradition in their family that only one family member will get married per year.
I told him about the plans, and the reasons why we chose the wedding date, but he kept on insisting that he has to get married first since he is older (although, they were already wed in civil law).
My fiance loves his family so much, I don't want them to argue.
???
2007-06-24 01:06:18 · 8 answers · asked by ysabelleG 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, this is a pretty tough situation. If it were me & my fiancee we would just say throw tradition out the door and you BOTH get married next year. If his family means so much to him and it is such a big deal that only 1 family member get married a year AND you don't want them to argue......you are basically going to have to settle for this year or 2 years. It's not right that his brother decided to do that...especially after you told him your plan. If he is not backing down, just be the better person and choose another year or this year and just be happy for them. It will take you being patient & humble to be able to make this decision but in the long run in will be for the best!! CONGRATS!
2007-06-24 01:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, gracious - weddings do this to families, don't they?
I feel the family tradition is nonsense and there is no reason you can't have two weddings in one year. BUT, since you announced first, it IS rude for the other couple to marry before you and upstage you.
All in all, though, as long as they aren't getting married the same day, what difference does it really make? Especially since you are having a lovely, small intimate wedding. Some of the guests most likely won't be at both, right?
Marriage is happy stuff - don't sweat the details :)
2007-06-24 08:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by NinaFromNewEngland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I'm confused... you said first the brother wants you to get married this year instead, but then you said he wants to get married first because he's older. So wouldn't that mean you putting your wedding off another year..?
Anyway, what a hassle. Why is it "tradition" to have only one family wedding in a year? It's not like they're going to be in the same month (or are they??). There's no reason for you and your bf to change your plans that you've already made.
I say continue on with your plans. Don't get in the way of your bf and his family, though - let him work it out with them. I think it's silly that his brother would be doing this to you, especially if he's already married - so it would only be a reception and not a wedding, right? Just stick with your plans and continue on the way you have been. Sounds like he already has been married first.
2007-06-24 09:04:38 · answer #3 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the brother is being really really selfish, especially considering they're already married. I don't see a reason for there to only be "one wedding a year" or whatever...and when did they get married in civil law anyway? Was it this year? Because if it was...that would create 2 weddings in a year anyway, so you HAVE to wait. If there's a reason why your wedding date is special, stand firm. You don't have to be rude about it...but be firm. Have your fiance talk to his mother as well...perhaps she'll understand and not be upset about the two weddings in a year? Good luck hun.
2007-06-24 08:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by rivendellrose2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're shacking up anyway, so it really doesn't matter.
Since you'll be paying for the wedding yourselves, anyway, since your mature adults who are independent, it shouldn't matter that there is more than one wedding in a year - since the parents won't be paying. Sounds like everyone needs a family meeting with all the parents and couples.
Anyway, if as you say it's small and you don't need to plan a lot ahead, then just have your ceremony by the end of this year, and they can get married next year.
2007-06-24 08:40:30 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
OMG... thats really RUDE of the other brother...and childish I think ("I'm older so I get to do it this year, not you")
ANyway. He already got married as you said in a civil thing, so its really just a reception. you should go ahead with your plans and get married when you originally planned to.
Technically he is already married....so technically, YOU get next year.
Oh man this just makes me want to B*Tch slap the other brother. how ridiculous.
Good luck
2007-06-24 09:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by J3NN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get married when I want to. Your future brother in law and either like it or lump it. Doesn't matter who said what. It is your day really so just do what you want to. Don't argue or anything just do what you want. It will all work out fine. Congratulations be happy.
2007-06-24 08:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not worth the trouble~~
2007-06-24 08:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋