A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75lb due to serious health risks. Desperate, he signs up for a guaranteed weight loss programme. The next day a voluptuous 19 year old girl arrives, dressed in nothing but running shoes and a sign round her neck, which reads “If you can catch me, you can have me!" He chases her and after catching up, has his way with her. After a few days of this, he is delighted to find he has lost weight and orders a harder programme. The next day, and even sexier woman turns up, wearing nothing but running shoes and the same sign. After five days of her, he decides to go for the company's hardest programme. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous programme." "Absolutely," he replies. The next day there's a knock at the door and standing there is a muscular guy wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."
2007-06-24 00:20:51 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Holy $h!t! That was a freakin’ Scream! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh! Honey! I could shower you with stars for this one… truly awesome!
2007-06-25 11:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Saw it comming, funny though,
Quickies:- What do you call a Russian prostitute, Nika Zoffalot (knickers off a lot).
Her brother had three testicles, he was called Houdyanick Abollockov (who did you nick a bollock off)
Time and temps have time for no man.
My wife said shes going to dance all over my grave if I die before She does, so I'm getting buried at sea.
Whats the similarity of a blonde girl and an aircraft flight recorder? (they both have a black box)
My wife was taking special tablets to increase her breasts by three sizes to avoid surgery.
After 3 weeks she was complaining that the tablets had made no difference, I said I read last week in a medical journal that if your rub soft tissue paper on them four times a day for a whole month that breasts will double in size.
She said don't be stupid that will never work, I replied "well it's worked wonders on your *** love".
2007-06-24 00:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by David C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!
2007-06-24 00:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Purdycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny.!!!
2007-06-24 01:53:42 · answer #4 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too funny... now heres one for you....:+)
A man and woman are doing yard work on a saturday... They are both bent over the flowers pulling out weeds.... The husband says "Damn, honey your a** is getting BIG!" The wife ignores him and keeps pulling weeds out of the flower bed.... A few minutes later the husband says "Damn Honey! I bet your a** is wider then the BBQ Grill!" she keeps working quietly as he goes over and gets a tape mesure... And sure enough... He tells her "Yup! 4 inches wider then the gas grill!"
Still she says nothing... that night they go to bed... The Hubby rolls against her and starts to get frisky...she does not respond... He asks her "What's the matter honey why dont you want to mess around.. she looks up at him and says......"There is no way in hell that I am going to fire up this big a** grill for one little weenie."
2007-06-24 00:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by sunny1falling 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Thats a five star joke
make me lol
2007-06-24 05:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hah hah hah ha. somehow I knew this was coming I guarantee I am going to copy and foward this one
Precious.. as are you.. A Touch of Honey in the morning is the top of the day..
2007-06-24 23:49:51 · answer #7 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice one Hon, never saw the punchline coming.
Cheers.
2007-06-24 09:48:10 · answer #8 · answered by bo nidle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saw it 'coming' to early.
You also have 12 stars already.
Note to self? ''Must try harder''!!
2007-06-26 10:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is really funny lol sorry for his *** though
2007-06-25 06:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by shanett2hype 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋