I have to be a virgin in our tradition, but i made a mistake that i regret. I dont wnt him to ever find out ive had sex before him..cud he physically find out tho?
2007-06-23 23:40:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since you're a woman. I honestly think he understands that you are not a virgin. No adult woman is a virgin if she's average or above. Teenage girls as young as 13 can't keep their legs together, how could a grown woman be a virgin?
Women are born with a rod in their mouth.
2007-06-23 23:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Midget 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Physically, he will know.
Backward traditions suck big time, as if virginity is the only thing a good woman can offer to her man. It saddens me to think that there are people who are still narrow-minded about this. I got married at 21 (was a virgin) and the marriage collapsed as fast as you could shout yaba-daba-doo!!! lol. So it's not a guarantee that a man would treasure a woman if she's a virgin on the first night. But well I'm from a culture different from yours.
To answer your q, if this marriage really means a lot to you, and that you think you won't find any man in your culture who can accept you as you are, assets and liabilities combined, then it's time to get even with these silly traditions that chain you by reinventing yourself. I know someone who had to go under a procedure to be a virgin again. Maybe if you'd consult an OB-Gyne she can refer you to someone who can do this. There are also what you call vaginal soaps to make you like a virgin again, but i can only wonder about its effectiveness.
Good luck and I wish you to be happy, with or without your virginity back.
2007-06-24 00:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alright.can tell by most answer's,they aren't making the connection. I never slept with a virgin that didn't bleed, heard
stories, while riding horse, bike ect ect. Once it looked like someone slaughtered an animal. If and it sounds like it, you
are going to have plenty of prior notice as too when this sexual act is to take place. There are things that can be done
to give the appearance of virginity. I don't think they realize
the magnitude of your situation. 1) calm down 2) are there
any females close that you can TRUST. or is your shame
stopping you from being able to confide?(trust me I'm not judging you) In your situation,with the limited facts that I have.
Before hand, get yourself at least a ounce(maybe two) of
"your own blood" that way if for some reason and you know it is possible, it is "your blood". At some point,because of
the pain, or whatever as long as you can find a moment to
leave the room. You have the idea, while We know its wrong to lie, sometimes we have to do what we have to. God will forgive you he might not. Also, pray about it. Good luck, hope I was of some help..............
2007-06-24 00:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi... i guess i totally understand what you mean coz i share with you the tradition part and what it means if a girl is not a virgin...
Rule #1...NEVER ever speak about any old guy relationships you had..no matter what !! guys are like camels they would bring up the subject anytime you have a minor quarrel!!
Rule#2...don't freak out and do things the first night of sex...if you can't stop your self prepare your man earlier by telling him that you read a lot and have been aware of some sex topics that you would like to take his opinion about...BY this you would show him that you are learning from him and you have no experience at all but through him ...
Rule#3 never initiate the sex thing ,,,it's not necessary that you will lose it from the first night....
besides it's NOT a rule that you will bleed the first time you have sex...some girls are born with an elastic hymen that won't break until they would deliver their babies!!!!! there are different types of hymens and every girl has her own story about first night!
add me if you would like to ask more about the subject... i would love to help you :)
take care
2007-06-23 23:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been with more than one virgin so i would know simply by experience. There ain't as many virgins now as there was when i was a young man. So more men now don't even know how to tell because they haven't been with that many. So it comes down to his experience and where he has been on the virgin trail. If he has been with a few he will know. Unless he is one of these unobservant types that doesn't pay attention to how women react to sex when they haven't had it before. Don't lie to him and insult his intelligence Tell him the truth before this turns bad. This is something that can be worked out if you love one another. If you lie it can go real bad real quick.
2007-06-23 23:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its not uncommon for a women to have no physical sign of virginity, but perhaps a visit to the doctor is in order so you may tell your husband that the doctor found your hymen was not intact. That way he won't be expecting a lot of blood and pain. Personally, I wouldn't want to marry a man if he would think less of me for having sex before him, it would show him to be unsympathetic and didactic. But of course, that is your choice, and your culture.
2007-06-23 23:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will find out. When you have sex the first time, you will bleed. Unless you hid the bedsheets, or have sex in the shower the first time, he will notice. A way to get around that is to tell him that you were born without a hymen. But marriage should be based on truth above all else. You need to tell him before you get married, and let him know that you regretted it and he's the only one for you. If he loves you then he will understand.
2007-06-23 23:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by arisannia 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If your fiance is that coldly narrow-minded, that you have to worry that much about it... he's not worth marrying. If he doesn't understand or won't accept the situation- then refuse to marry him. You can find someone better. That's what I think.
Me, it would not be a problem. I wouldn't care and would marry you The 'first' man doesn't matter, only the 'best' one, and the one you took as a husband, really matters. That's what's really important.
~ Jonathan Rich
2007-06-24 00:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jonathan Rich 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on his experience. But if He will be your husband, why risked ? try to build a good relation since the beginning, based on sincerity & trust. Because if he find out by himself or even if he is just not sure; I don't think it will be pretty.
Man Should quit thinking that is so important to be the first one, Isn't it better to be the last one.......????
2007-06-24 00:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by Nita 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To me your words appear to reveal your fear your mate will learn truth about you, when truth is all we have to bind us together. Surely you will think often of this pre-marriage sex, and maybe even fail to be faithful as a result. why marry if you cannot honestly share your life? That is how he will discover your infidelity; your secrets, your dark fear and guilt. And how you welcome his embraces, or not.
Comparison with an early lover is discoverable. Sorry, he'll know, in the end.
And (potentially), you'll never forget?
2007-06-23 23:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by pedro 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even i m frm d same culture n tradition as urs. Well as far as ur ques is concernd i wud say to b vry honest i think it does matter to a guy if his gal is not a virgin. But if ur guy luvs u truely he wudnt let that come in between ur luv n relationship. I think u shud tel him the truth and show him dat u feel sorry for it. I m sure dat if he luvs u, he wil undrstnd ur prob n wil accpt u as u r. N i think truth is d base of any healthy relationship. N for a guy who luvs a gal truely it shouldnt matter if he is d first one in his gals life or not. Wat matters is dat he should b d last one in his gals life. Tell him d truth. Best of luck!!
2007-06-27 18:22:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋