is it wrong to spank a child i spank my son last night now i feel so bad?

Answer 1

I think there is hope for you because you recognise that this is not the right approach, otherwise you would not feel guilty. I think when you hit a child you are teaching them that violence is the method for dealing with things you disagree with, when your child gets older and encounters children who have parents who have not resorted to physical assault he may feel inferior, it has a devastating effect on self esteem and helping him have good self esteem should be your primary objective. It's funny how flawed the people are who say' My parents hit me and it never did me any harm'. It is a quick form of discipline to assault a child, but it is not effective at teaching them to make the right choices, it takes a little longer to teach them by talking to them, but children of parents who choose to communicate are usually much more at peace and invariably much happier people with higher self esteem. I can tell by your question that you will be alright, keep questioning the effectiveness of violence and check the profiles of the people who encourage you to physically assault you child.

Answer 2

I really don't think it is a good thing to spank children. I hated my parents when they spanked me. You don't want your child to hate you. There are plenty of other ways to discipline children. I think all touches between children and adults should be loving. The best thing to do is tell your child how you feel. "I am so angry with you that I feel like spanking you. But, I know that isn't the right thing to do and it will just make you angry with me. Rather than spank you, what do you suggest that I do so that you realize that what you are doing is totally wrong and unacceptable to me?" Let the child participate in deciding what appropriate punishments are, making certain that it is not so harsh that you will scare them for life! Make punishment fair, not scarey. Treat the child as you wanted to be treated when you were a child. Be patient and kind. Your child will be easier to deal with if they don't resent you for hurting them physically.

Answer 3

This is a big debate with alot of people. Basicly the simple truth is did your child know that his behavior can not go beyond a certain line. The other is if you spank your child only do it in a controlled manor. If you fly off the handle and hit the kid then you teach them hitting is a way to handle anger. If you explain and use other metheds first like the corner ect. and then let the child know he will get two spanks for what ever reason its better then spanking out of control. Mainly anything is better then spanking. Alot of people have spanked there kids. But it is getting to be a bigger issue. There are many other things to try first, its just that it takes time and patience but ussually works. A chart of his behavior works pretty well. Make sure you have goals on it for him to achive also. Positive and negitive. Alot of people use food and thats not always a good thing. But a new toy sure can be a good thing. Buy the toy he cant have it till he achives his goals. a few days and its something simple then a week and its something even better. Once he learns this then you tell him he has won! And move on to the next issue. He has to get to the goal to earn it! When he wont go to sleep or what ever it may be then he gets points taken away. there are lots of ways this type of chart works and you can look up some online but it takes time but it truely works. There is passive kids and there is aggresive kids. Aggresive kids are harder and take more time and many people seem to give up and spank them more often and they become even more aggresive. I can not say never spank since I have when my son was going to run in front of a car. Or stick his finger in a light socket. But I do know that its better not to. Its hard work raising a kid and this is just the beginning for you. But at least you are caring enough to ask and feel bad for the spanking. Good luck and I hope this helped!

Answer 4

I hope you didn't let your temper get the better of you and hit him too hard and too many times. Then yes you are wrong for doing this. I hope your one of the smart parents that knows abuse from a controlled spanking on the butt Which it sounds like you are. Yes it hurts the parents to spank their kids b/c you don't like the feeling you get when you do this. There are other methods to try instead of spanking. Time-outs are good(yes they are good and you may have to work at it for awhile until your child knows you mean business.It's better than spanking) If they still don't listen start to take away whatever they love to play w/ and tell them when they are ready to start behaving then you'll return them. No tv, no games, etc. I dont like to spank my children all the time either, so I use the time outs.

Answer 5

Try not to spank. But if you did, don't feel bad. Just remember that spanking is no good, don't do it as a punishment . I got spank when I was a kid, but I am fine in developing.
I believe the most important of parenting is the love, the care for your kids. If you really love, care for your kids, they won't remember and hate you for just a spank.
Remember that parenting is a hard work. It can't be done without love.
You appeared being a very care parent. Try to spend time as much as you can with your child. Don't worry about money to buy toy, visit Disneyland,....You can paint with your child, you can take your child to local park,....
Good luck.

Answer 6

It is simple we are teaching our children the importance of not repeating an action by spanking, kind of like you wont touch a hot stove twice! now if the spankings are for simple issues that a lesson could have been shown through time-out or other forms of no violent discipline than yes feel bad. But a spanking every once in a while is okay relative to the importance of what they did, of course the level of the spanking should be controlled! Now there are folks out there that won’t agree with me here and each situation is different and each parent has there own way of handling discipline. hope that helps!

Answer 7

Just don't do it again. Spanking a child does not serve the intended purpose - it's a knee-jerk response when your frustration mounts. Tell him you're sorry - apologize to him, but let him know that whatever he was doing was unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Think of another way to get the message across!

You reap what you sow. Hitting/spanking/yelling is not communicating or providing a positive role model.

Answer 8

I have had similar situations with friends bratty kids. I used to think it was not OK to spank or discipline them, so I just stepped out of the way hoping that mom or dad would do something. I got tired of them not doing anything and my kids bearing the brunt of their so called friends' misbehavior. Things have changed since then. Now when they are in my house I give them specific do's and don'ts when they are at my house. If they disobey and the parent's don't do anything, then I discipline them as if they were my own children. If the parents don't like it, oh well! If they leave and get mad, I look at it as I don't have to put up with naughty kids and careless parents. A true friend would respect my house rules and if he/she really loves their kids, they will discipline them, because it will only help them in the long run.

Answer 9

I feel bad too after I spank my children. However, Children thankfully do not hold grudges like adults do. Plus, I know that it works, because everyone tells us how well behaved and respectful our children are. They ask us what we do, and we are honest. Most people think that spanking is so taboo, but I believe that if more children were spanked, there would be a lot less cases of ADD and ADHD! There is definitely a difference between SPANKING (butt) and HITTING.(arms, legs, head etc...) The children that are given Psycobabble end up being the dysfunctinal adults in Therapy! (just my opinion)

Answer 10

Personally, I don't think spanking is wrong if it is done properly and for the right reasons. I spank my two kids, ages 8 and 11, for attitude adjustment. A couple of hand swats on the bottom gets their attention. I don't believe in spanking with a belt or switch (I got that when I was little, and let me tell you it hurts long after the switching stops) I rarely have to spank them, though. If you feel that bad, think about what you spanked them for. Could you have used an alternative method such as time out for behavior that needed to controlled or could you have taken something away like a toy if he/she threw it or the cell phone if the privilege was being abused? Did you spank your child excessively? If it was for attitude, talking /yelling doesn't help, because they tend to tune you out, Really, all it takes is a couple of pops on the bottom to get their attention. Don't beat yourself up over it. We are all human. Take a deep breath and think about how to handle situations better. Good luck!

Answer 11

I was spanked as a child and I am fine. I believe in spanking too, as a last resort for extremely bad behavior. I maybe have to spank my son once a month. Yes, it always hurts the parent more than the child. I say one swift spanking is better and more effective than a bunch of spanking too.