I'm tired of being a nice guy, because people take advantage of it. I'm the type thats real dependable, the one that people can call if they need something, and I'll do all in my power to make it happen. The problem is people take advantage of your kindness and expect handouts for nothing. Like a girl who called me tonight...who never calls me...asking for a favor for me to drive out an hour away and chaueffer her and her friends home. Sometimes I have a hard time saying no, because I don't wanna be an asshole. So I come up w/ excuses alot which I hate doing because I'm ussually very honest. So the question is how do you be nice and not get taken advantage of? And how do you do that without coming off as an asshole? I'm tired of doing people always asking for favors when they have done absolutely nothing for you.
2007-06-23 19:16:42 · 5 answers · asked by Coach Lombardi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Man, I feel your pain brother. I was in the same boat you are in a few years back. My final breaking point was when I helped someone and they turned around and robbed me of over 10,000! The thing that worked for me is to go ahead and be an asshole to the ones that aren't that important to you and only help a few select group. If you tell the people how you feel, without insulting them, they will usually understand. Sometimes you just have to be stern and tell them no. They will get over it sooner or later. This is something important because you will drive yourself crazy with stress helping everyone out and not looking after yourself.
2007-06-23 19:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by maphestio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem too. For me it was a lack of self-esteem. I had none. So I made some with images. Like the image of being a nice guy. But I couldn't be normal nice. I had to be nicer than most people. I had to be special. And what people thought of me was everything. Everything was about my image and what people thought of me because I thought so little of myself. I couldn't ever risk being a jerk because this would put me in touch with bad feelings about myself. Being a nice guy has the outward appearance of selflessness but deep down it's really selfish.
I went to therapy to work on this. I learned that disrespecting myself is no better than disrespecting someone else. I learned that every human being walking the planet is selfish(some people just cover it up better) and that it's OK to be a selfish human being.
You don't have to give anybody anything if you don't want to. You are still the same valuable human being wether you give everything or you give nothing. It's your choice. Your actions have real consequenses, but they don't change who you are. This is a problem many people have. They have a real difficult time separating themselves from what they do.
2007-06-27 18:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the power of choice bro. chose who you do favors for wisely.people who deserve help should get it. and everyonce in a while you might feel like giving a favor.... but other than that people can really just help themselves. that is still being nice because most people know how to help themselves but they choose to put it on someone else like us nice guys. so help those who truly deserve it. and expect the favor returned in-kind.
2007-06-24 02:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by blade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply say no. Don't give any excuses, just say you don't feel like doing whatever favor they want at the moment.
2007-06-24 02:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by z_o_r_r_o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a backbone and learn to say NO.
2007-06-24 02:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋