I have a very thin (very!) friend. Its strange but sometimes people ask her if she is doing okay or if she is sick. Maybe its because we are in Idaho; I don't know. All I know is she eats more than I do. I think we calculated it once and she eats about 400 more calories a day than I.
Anyways, she got fed up last week with this and whenever someone asked this she would ask if they were okay because they were so fat. At first it was hilarious and they were shocked. She would usually add in something about heart disease or high blood pressure. Lately she has started adding a few choice words to her replies to these people. I think she might be getting carried away. Should I say something? Is it my place to say something?
It really brings up a good point about our society and how being really fat is viewed as normal and being really skinny is not. Mostly, I just think its a funny situation that I am a part of. I am hoping it stays that way.
2007-06-23 18:50:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ann Landers is asked this similar question. "So, why don't you have children?" Or "When are you getting married?" She always says that the best answers are the ones that make people realize how rude the question is in the first place. Of course, your friend should end it there. No need to make the questioner feel insulted, only put in his or her place. If it REALLY bothers YOU, then I'd say something to her. After all, if she does it when you're together, she has to respect that it makes you uncomfortable, and that isn't her intent I'm sure. If she wants to do it on her own time, sure, but if it makes you feel bad, she should know that. Good for her, though, that she's standing up for herself. (you should too :) )
2007-06-23 21:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by katya_annalotovich_x 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever picked up a magazine or watched TV...the message sent is loud and clear big is bad skinny is beautiful and the excepted ideal. Fat is seen as something bad and unattractive. I think fat is seen as the norm but not in a positive way. So I disagree with the idea that fat is normal and thin is not.
Its understandable people would be shocked if she asked them if they were OK about their weight, because its not something to be taken lightly. However, its understandable that people asked if she is OK because she is skinny. Either way its offencive and insensitive from both sides.
Why not suggest to your friend that she tell people that their "concerns" offend her. Because I am sure if she doesn't like being asked about her thinness what gives her the right to shoot some one down for their fatness?
2007-06-24 02:22:33 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So you think that being rude as a response to someone else's rudeness is a good idea? If you think someone is being rude it doesn't mean you should be rude in return. She should just not respond if it bothers her so much and just consider herself lucky that she doesn't have a weight problem. If her biggest problem in the world is that she is thin and people are commenting on it she should be pretty happy. Pretty soon she will get older and her metabolism will go south and she will be wishing for the days when people said she was thin. I don't think that fat is normal in our society at all but I live in Southern California so maybe that is the difference.
2007-06-24 02:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Serendipity 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not everyone is naturally skinny like that, so personally I don't think it is right to call people not fat. But I also think that it is rude to ask someone if they are ok because they are thin... people are differnt than others, and it isn't cool or fun to poke fun of things like that... you might want to remind her saying things like that can really hurt people's feelings, but the people that ask her questions like that should stop too...
2007-06-24 02:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with your opinion on society thinking it's the norm to be fat and that skinny is not normal.....Have you looked at the fashion magazines ? You surely don't find fat people in them.
Yes, I do think you should say something to your friend, she's got to understand that people are just asking her if she's ok because they are concerned and what she is saying to them is just her being mean.
2007-06-24 02:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by ll_jl_sl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, if its the first time someone has asked her, she should reply nicely that she is fine.
If its someone who constantly asks if she's ok or someone she sees often, she could give that retort.
Don't worry, most likely her metabolism will slow down and POOF she'll have to deal with all the calories she took.
2007-06-24 06:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh good grief, since when is it a bad thing to express sincere concern regarding someone's health? People you are taking political correctness waaaaaay too far.
I think your friend needs to back off. I find her response to these expressions of concern rude and totally lacking in understanding. No wonder most are shocked.
2007-06-24 02:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im on your friends side.
People are being rude to her to ask about her weight, If she was over weight would it be ok is they ask her this .? For some reason because she is small they find it ok to ask her about her weight.
2007-06-24 01:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ha taht is so funny. i'm naturally really thin like too but i would never have the courage to say that to the many people who ask if i'm ok. LOL!!!!!
2007-06-24 01:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋