If my parents have promised future "wedding" money, can I ask for interest if I may not get it until they die?

Question

I am 28 years old and have a 25-year-old sister. My parents have always prided themselves in treating my sister and I fairly, including financially. My sister recently had an extravagant wedding that cost my parents around $30,000. Even though I do not want an expensive wedding, my parents have promised me an equal amount of money to do with as I please.
However, they say that since my sister's wedding was so expensive, I may have to wait until they die to get "mine." I don't necessarily have a problem with waiting, but I feel it is unfair for them not to offer to somehow compensate me (with interest, for example) for waiting 25-30 years for what my sister got at the age of 25.
I understand that as an adult, I should not expect anything from them, but it bothers me that I feel I am being treated differently than my sister. Would it be unreasonable and selfish to ask my parents to add interest to the amount or to discuss making the contribution "fair?"

Answer 1

Wow settle down everyone.
I don't think asking 4 interest is such a good idea. I think that when the time for your wedding comes your parents will probably offer you the same amount. Them saying you might have to wait till they die may have a been a slight joke or exaggeration to their surprise at how much your sisters wedding cost and they are probably just hoping thaat you wait a few years till you get married.
Just remember that by giving you the money so soon may really hurt them financially. Good things come to those who wait. Yes it may not seem fair now but I promise you that your time will come and how you act now may determine the outcome. Your parents may have also thought about u waiting longer but have not told u now so sibling rivalry dosen't occur.

Answer 2

Here's the thing-just because your sister got them backed up against a wall to the tune of $30,000 doesn't mean that you have the right to do the same. Your parents seem amazingly generous, obviously having put themselves near financial ruin to float your sister's extreme expenses, and I'm sure that if you don't put pressure on them or throw a fit about things being "fair" they will make sure you "get yours".

In fact, the best way to go might just be to not say anything at all. When you do that, you show your parents that YOU are concerned about THEM-and I'm sure they will respond generously as always.

Right now, if I were you, I would just focus on maintaining a good relationship with your parents-for the sake of the relationship, not for the money. Being close with your parents has rewards that are even better than a big inheritance, and when they DO die, you will have spent amazing times being a large part of eachothers lives rather than spending years just waiting for them to die and leave you money.

Answer 3

Haven't you learned at the age of 28 that life isn't always fair? That would apply to this situation.

Your sister got married first. And now you think you should be compensated in some way because you have to wait for what is "owed" to you? Please.

If had a daughter and she asked me to pay her interest on money that I was going to give her as a gift, I would laugh in her face and retract my offer. You sound like the most selfish person in the world for asking this question. I am actually embarrassed for you. You are an adult and you sound like some spoiled 16 year old.

Grow up.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry dear, but this sounds really money-grubbing. How in the world are you going to say to your parents "Hey...when you die, make sure I get that money plus more, because I had to wait until you kicked the bucket to get it".

Tradition states that the bride's family pays for the wedding. Now, tradition has certainly changed in our day and age, when couples are living together and being self sufficient before marrying. But either way, you are looking at the situation like "My sister got this, I should get the same plus more". No. It doesn't work that way. If you are big on tradition, then your future bride-to-be's family would pay the 30k for YOUR wedding. Your family does not need to COMPENSATE you for anything.

Please let it go. You are really being selfish and unfair. You are male. The groom's family takes care of different expenses than the bride's family...not nearly as much.

Answer 5

It may put them off, but if they have the money you may ask for it to be put it aside in a "wedding account" that earns interest. Maybe you can have a say where if this is whats important to you.

My parents promised to treat us equally, I believe I received the same gift 12 years later for my wedding that my brother received with no interest added. Never brought it up to them, didn't seem right. Realized my parents try to be fair and it is impossible to treat siblings equal. You may have a different number of children, if you have 1/2 the children your sister has do they get double the gifts. Is that treating you equally ?

Money wise there it is hard to treat children equal. It is hard to know what it means.

Answer 6

Fair. What a silly term. Your parents paid $30,000 for a wedding that they were able to enjoy. They will get the memories of the wedding for years to come. They have the hope of grandchildren from that union. You should simply be glad that they plan on giving you any and stop whining about fair.

Your parents would have done better to teach you that sometimes life is not fair.

Answer 7

I think this is something kids worry about at age 12, not at 28. It only makes you look spoiled to ask your parents for interest on *their* money. You don't have a right to this money. It's theirs and they didn't choose your sister over you - she just happened to get married before you did and perhaps they went overboard with her wedding without thinking down the road.

Answer 8

Um....YES. Your parents have worked very hard throughout their lives to give you both everything you ever needed and I suspect, everything you ever wanted. And you have the audacity to ask for INTEREST? Are you kidding me? If you were my kid, I would not only tell you NO on the interest, I'd tell you to pay for your OWN DAMN WEDDING. Most ADULTS who get married pay for their own these days. If you get married at the age of 30, you're seriously going to expect your parents to spend $30k on your wedding? You're a spoiled brat.

I should add: I think they should charge YOU interest on all the money they've spent on you throughout your childhood and adult life. Do you know that the average parent spends approximately $200,000 per child to raise them?! $200,000....wonder how much they could've made by now with interest if they'd invested that money instead of investing in YOU...you ungrateful child.

Answer 9

You've already said you don't want the wedding. You've said the money will be given to you. What more do you want?

Your sister's money is already spent. Yours will come to you one day. Now you want them to make your share bigger because you have to wait?

Get over the interest idea. They promised you wedding money, and you don't want a big wedding...and they're still giving you the money. That's mighty generous of them.

And as someone who has lost both parents, I pray you have to wait a long, long time for this money.

Believe me, when it comes to you, you'll understand.

Answer 10

I'm pretty sure that your parents were just teasing you. Can't you take a joke? If your parents have treated the two of you fairly all your life, they will continue to do so. Don't piss em off by being a spoiled little smart *** and ask them for any interest. Just be happy you have great parents.