My daughter turns 10 tomorrow. She is the youngest of three. Ever since she could crawl she's been trying to keep up with her brothers, they are 4 1/2 and 6 1/2 years older than she is. She was introduced to video games, TV and music for an "older set" early on. She still can't quite keep up with them, but she still tries. She is very good with video games, working with computers (she got her own computer when her brothers got theirs for high school) and the internet and follows music and, to some degree, fashion. She has a cell phone and iPod. Her tastes and abilities are more than of a 13 year old than a 10 year old.
The problem is that her friends are all either only children or the oldest in their families. They are still very innocent without having these older role models. When she gets together with her friends, however, they seem intimidated by her sophisitiation in these areas. They get very frustrated when she can do things they can't. She's not a show-off, she doesn't know.
2007-06-23 18:06:04 · 7 answers · asked by Arwen 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
She has a cell phone because of safety considerations (when she's not home I want to be able to find her easily, she is only allowed to call home) and her iPod is my old castoff. We do NOT buy her stuff (spoil her) "just because."
2007-06-23 18:08:43 · update #1
She's active in Girl Scouts and is in her school bicycling club and plays sports such as soccer and cheerleading and is going to start volleyball soon.
We are isolated psysically from her friends, they live miles away so she can't simply go out to play. There are no kids closer in her age group. Anything she does socially has to be planned extensively, if my husband or I are not available to spend an hour each way ferrying her to and from a playdate or activity, she simply can't go.
2007-06-23 18:44:22 · update #2
There are several possible solutions to your problem, I'd recommend a bit of both.
First, sit down with her and discuss the problem. Have her identify the areas that this generally occurs in and suggest that she avoid doing those things with her friends. If video games are the issue, play something other than video games. Suggest she follow her friends' leads. She doesn't need to play dumb, just play games that they have more equal footing on.
Second, help her meet some mixed aged friends. A 12 year old can easily be a peer to a 10 year old, there's not that much space between them. If she thinks like a 13 year old, she find herself much more comfortable around a child closer to that age range. There's no rule that kid's friends have to be the exact same age as them.
2007-06-23 19:05:17 · answer #1 · answered by Charlene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like your daughter "grew up" fast and didn't have the time to just be a little girl. She probably does have a hard time relating to kids her own age.
Maybe increasing the amount of play dates she has with her friends and decreasing the amount of time she spends doing high-school aged activities would help her.
2007-06-24 01:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by western b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they get frustrated with her because she isn't one of them. She has grown up faster than they have and has pretty much eliminated herself from her peers. You as a parent have allowed it rather than making sure she stuck with the interests of those in HER age bracket. What she is doing with her own computer is beyond me. I wouldn't allow a 10 year old or even a highschooler to have their own computers. My daughter didn't get her own computer until she was a senior in highschool and SHE paid for it herself. As a child growing up her time with video games and computers were limited to an hour a day, I prefered her to be able to socialize with her peers and get some exercise rather than plant her butt in front of a monitor and vegetate. Besides out in the workforce one has to know how to relate and tolerate one's peers and a computer is not good for human interaction. Yeah it's great to be able to surf the internet but if you can't relate to your peers you are eventually going to be left out in the cold. It looks as though by the time your daughter reaches highschool her peers will have nothing in common with her and she will be left on her own pretty much of the time.
2007-06-24 01:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take your daughter to an event with kidz around her age or tell her to try to get to know children her age. But if she's used to being around an older crowd she might not bond well with children her own age.
2007-06-24 01:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by girl!*! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has grown up too fast and cant make friends easily.Try and take her to events where there are children her own age,.What about invitinga friend for asleepover?
2007-06-24 04:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have created who she is. Try not to do things that let her "mature" to much more for now and her friends will catch up. Explain to her to do what her friends do for now and save the rest for with her siblings
2007-06-24 01:27:08 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have her friends come to your house to play for 3 hours every saturday.
2007-06-24 19:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by favorite_aunt24 7 · 0⤊ 6⤋