i dont want to be like my parents when i grow up?

Question

i feel like although i hate them, and i think the things they do are sick and twisted, and i know theyre wrong, im becoming a little like them, since im homeskooled and always around them. i hate it, because i want to be the opposite of them, literally my worst fear is to be anything like them when im an adult. is there anything at all i can do to prevent myself from picking up their habits and tendancys? id do anything...ill never have kids if im like them when i grow up. i wont marry either. the last thing i would do is inflict my messed up self onto someone else

they hit me, cuss at me, emotionally hurt me mostly. its not that i dont get their point of veiw. also ive begged and begged to go to public skool, but they refuse. "bad association"

im not jus some kid who is mad at their parents. they are not good people. its not me jus bein spoiled and not understanding and freaking out over nothing. its something.

Answer 1

Just always remember you have a choice. Try to always be aware of what you say, what you do , how you say it and how you do it. If you find you're acting in ways you don't like in your parents, change what you're doing. You can choose to be different. It just takes awareness. Try to always be in the moment. I think it's great that you're seeing things in them that you don't like and are deciding to not be that way. You have the right to choose exactly how you want to be.

Answer 2

Ok, heres the truth. You will pick up a little of your parents demeanor in the long run. The absolutely negative things, you will avoid. The simple things ex. like money management, or constant sayings they use, don't freak out if you find yourself using the same things in the future. Its a given. I don't know what goes on in your household that makes them so twisted. I will tell you that I was adopted into a great household, but remember clearly how abused I was before I was adopted. That is something I never put upon my one and only child. I always make sure she is loved enoughed and praised enough. I think, since your so whole hearted against your parents thinking, you will do just the opposite, as I did with my child. The only thing you have to worry about is, you. The outcome it has on your mentality. Your going to carry alot of extra emotional baggage in your life, but you will be certain your children will never feel what you have endured.

Answer 3

From a parent stand point the best thing I can tell you to is, learn from your parents. My father was a drunk and I saw what it did to the family so I chose not to drink when I started a family. Dad died at 47 yo and I did not want to do the same. My mother sometimes likes to talk behind everyones back and say mean things about everyone, she was just like her mother. so I make a point of being nice to everyone and not spread gossip like my mother does.

one of the best things you can do is to listen to people. I know so many parents who think they know everything without listining to there kids. As a parent sometimes you have to tell your child no you cannot do that, thats part of a parents job, but on the other hand you don't have to be a mean person to the kid when you tell them no.. Another key is respect, treat your parents with respect now. I don't know how they act but thats not the point. If you treat your parents with respect what you are doing is showing them how you want to be treated. they still might treat you bad, but that is something you have no control over. The only thing you can control is how you act, if you do your part thats all you can do. If your parents treat you bad thats there problem its there life. when you treat others with respect thats your life, its something you can control.

When you have your own kids you will make mistakes, all parents do. I made many.

But why would anyone want to make the same mistakes as there parents did, when you know the outcome of those mistakes.

listen and learn, two keys you will need.

just for the record I am 51 years old and have 4 kids

Answer 4

Your parents may teach you some of your habits but as you grow older and mature you can realize what is right and what is wrong and what you do is you. Not them, so you cant blaim them in the future for your mistakes because you can control your present and future, so if you dont like things they do take note and make sure you never do it in the future.
I am not like my parents at all I may have a little bit here and there from my stubborness and what not but those are habits that I learnt myself as I grew up and I can easily not be stubborn if I did not want to be. Get it? Anyways good luck to ya

Answer 5

You need to sit back and relax for a minute. Grow up first and enjoy these years. You are your own person and you will make the decisions that best suit your family when you get older. You may hate your parents for the rules and expectations they have placed on you but let me tell you. Its not easy when you get older and have to decide what is best for your family and your kids. They will your decisions. Like it is your parents decisions now. Don't forget there was a time when your grandparents told your parents what to do....and you know what....secretly they probably hated them for it. The way you feel is natural. I am a 39 year old dad and I felt the same way you did growing up. Then I had a son who is now 21. Now were all my choice great in my sons mind....No....But I did my best, and you will do the same. So will my son. I don't expect or want him to be like me. I want him to be his own person. All I can say now for you is......Just grow up and enjoy life. Worry about marrying and having kids in the future. You will be in charge someday. I promise......Part of you will wish you did not have to make some of the choices you will have to make in the future when the time come. Anyway....starting to lecture....Sorry.....Take care and enjoy today for today and worry about the future one day at a time. - Mark

Answer 6

Sweetie you dont have to be like them if you dont want to. Just remember what they call the Golden Rule. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. Try to convince your parents to send you to an outside school where you can make some friends your own age. With some other people around you , you wont focus on what they do so much and you will have time to build your own personality.

Answer 7

cassy you have alot of growing up to do.as dumb as your parents seem to be to you ,they have accomplished something...you know right from wrong.its like the old saying says...do as i say...not as i do.parents are people too although we are expected to have all the right answers,do all the right thins,say the right things,believe it or not we still are learning and do make mistakes..honor your mother and father,if were not for them you would not exist.for the nine monts she carried you alone you owe her respect.what you become is entirely up to you.it amazes me when i think back at how lame i thought my parents were,they just didnt get it.but the older i got the smarter they got...what a revelation..my father has since left this earth and i would literally give anything to have more time with him.unless your parents are physically abusive or mentally abusive ,put up with it.all too soon you will be on your own and perhaps a parent someday,just vow to do better,even if it is only one thing..do better..and love your parent no matter what,as i am sure they do you.good luck and good life

Answer 8

I always said that too, and now sometimes I say things or do things that my mom and dad always do/did. It's inevitable for us to be a little like our parents. But, we are ourselves first and foremost. What is it that they do that is so sick and twisted? Sometimes when we are young, we get sick of our parents. I hope things aren't really so bad for you at home. If there is anything serious going on, talk to a trusted adult about it to get help.

Answer 9

Relax and go with the flow. You will not be like them, if that is not what you. We are all originals and we learn and build our own characters on what we see and hear and what we feel is right for us. You will keep the good and leave the bad. It's all part of growing up. Peace

Answer 10

so what is your question? I am sure your parents have some good qualities mine did and they were probably worse then yours, any way what you try to do is take the good qualities and leave the bad ones behind. that's what I did. although I see a lot of both my parents in myself. its something you cant really get away from . the apple don't fall far from the tree. lol