New military wife?

Question

My husband is in the USAF. We have been married for 6 mnths and he just left for Turkey 3 wks ago for 4 mnths. How often do they usually call? When he was in Iraq, he called 2x/wk. I've only heard from him 1 time- 1 wk ago. He gave me his email address, I email him daily with no response from him, and his address on base, I've already been mailing him packages, cards,etc. Is this normal? His Sgt told me that if I needed anything to just call them and that they would "track him down", that they are use to his father calling to check on him. What should I do? I've been keeping busy with our daughter, working out at gym and will start a part time job Monday. Is he really that busy to where he cant call me or email???
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE

He's an engine mechanic-mostly with C-17's.

Answer 1

I think your answer is really your first statement. Welcome to the life of a mil spouse. Few things that might help you...
1. Keep taking care of yourself and daughter. You are right on track there.
2. Realize that he is over there doing a job, every soldiers hours/schedule are different. His access to internet or phones may be limited. Understand his lack of email or calls doesn't mean he doesn't care. Don't start to worry like that unless it's been like a month, give him a few weeks
3. Might want to check into some support from your FRG (Family Readiness Group, that's Army, I'm sure there is something similar for AF). You can also check out www.spousebuzz.com
4. Love Your Soldier

Answer 2

Give him another 2 weeks to settle in. I know it takes my husband a couple of weeks to get into a schedule when he deploys.

Also, they are only suppose to call once a week. Some do take advantage if they are in an office, so don't worry about that either. I know some commands are cracking down on this because some call more than others and it creates problems among those at their home bases.

Just hang in there, he will get into a schedule and you'll have regular contact again. I know that becomes you rely on when they're gone (mines gone too, 4 months down, 2 1/2 to go.)

Answer 3

I only get calls once every 2 or 3 weeks and emails are a rare bonus when the internet is actually working. I would just wait it out and see what happens, I know how much it sucks and how hard it is, trust me. Just keep busy and try to keep your mind occupied and when you do get a call.. it will mean much more than if you got them all the time (i know that doesn't help much but thats my experience) he is more than likely really busy or working on an important mission and on a "lockdown" so they can't call.

I reccomend contacting your FRG point of contact and talking to them if you are really concerned and I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

If the USAF is anything like the USN then it is normal. The hours worked overseas, especially at the beginning of the mission are much longer than those worked back home. That is what you're there for when you are overseas, you're there to work. I know that it is hard for you here, but chances are he has not had time. It may sound bad, but when your overseas and working, you forget how long its been sometimes. If I could give any advice it would be to keep yourself busy and keep sending him stuff. Good luck, I'm sure he is fine, just overworked.

Answer 5

I think you're better off not sitting there expecting to be called every week (no offense intended).

What you're doing is good -- keep busy, enjoy your job and any communication you get - count as a good thing. Don't bombard him with too many emails...if you send so many through he might not be able to check them all!

it's only a 4 month deployment, very insignificant in the grand scheme of things - enjoy the time you have with your daughter and do stuff you wouldn't normally do!

Answer 6

When I was in the Air Force, I spent 2 tours in Saudi Arabia (one 90 days, one 45 days) and one tour in Kuwait (120 days). During all three deployments, I called home to my family at least every few days.

My first tour in Saudi, I was married to my ex, and since I was new to the whole deployment thing, I tried to be good about only calling home once a week, but halfway through the 90 days, we were all spending our free time on the phones whenever possible.

On my tour in Kuwait, I had met a lot of great people and was deployed with a great team so we kept ourselves busy most of the time when we were off duty, so I called home usually about twice a week, but sometimes more if I got the chance to.

On my second (45 days) tour to Saudi, I was deployed with my best friend, and my (now current husband) was deployed to Kuwait at the same time. My friend and I would spend a good part of our down time calling my boyfriend and her husband (back home).

Of course, things have changed a lot since I got out of the military (5 years now). He may be really busy working and getting used to his deployment base. He's got a lot to learn, new people to work with. Every deployment base has their own rules regarding phone calls, so he may be limited to making a call once a week, or he may be too busy to call. If he's like a lot of people, his routine is wake up, shower, go to work, go home and sleep, with a few meals in between somewhere. He just may be too exhausted to call or check his email, or may not have access to his emails right now. I wouldn't worry myself too much, however, if it truly bothers you, talk to his First Sgt. They are there to take care of you when he's gone. His shirt knows who to call to check up on him. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 7

It might be more difficult in Turkey.
Just give it time, and don't read the worst into it.
You are doing the right thing by staying busy.

Answer 8

It depends on his job and the mission he was sent over there to do. I am sure it is legit considering his assigned unit basically insinuated he is busy

Answer 9

Just keep doing what you're doing now. You're on the right track.

Answer 10

Sorry girl he has found himself a "tdy honey"