I agreed to be in a friends wedding. When I agreed to be in her wedding initially a medical thing I have to wear was supposed to be gone by wedding day but there were complications. She decided early that she must have the carbon copy BM's and chose a dress and we ordered it thinking my condition would be gone. I could physically wear it now but would be uncomfortable and embarassing since it would show my medical thing. I told her I will not wear the dress and tried to back out when she refused to let me wear a diff. style in the same color. Now she is crying that I have ruined her day because she will have uneven bridesmaid numbers and there isn't time for replacement. She has also uninvited me to the wedding since I will not wear this dress.
I am not sure who's right.
Note: I don't want to go into detail about what it is but I am not pregnant and it is not something common like a cast.
2007-06-23 13:33:00 · 20 answers · asked by pspoptart 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I just wanted to clarify--physically I could wear the dress, walk down the aisle, and stand up fine
2007-06-23 13:45:07 · update #1
You have every right to wear something that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable and exposed. She is overreacting. If it were me I would understand. I'm not going to ask about your condition and you are right in that it's no one's business but I do hope you recover well.
2007-06-23 13:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 6⤊ 3⤋
My good friend has scoliosis and has to wear a back brace to correct it. She's going to be a bride's maid in a wedding later this year and will still have to wear the brace. She's wearing a spaghetti strap dress. Yes, it embarrasses her a bit but her friend (the bride) doesn't care that the brace is showing in the photos. My friend is putting her own feelings aside to please her friend. However, in the process she's been very upset and agonizing over it, even though it's still a few months away. Especially while she's going through something like this, there's no reason she should be put through the stress of worrying about a one-day event.
Does your friend care if your medical device is showing in the photos? Are you really embarrassed by it or is there another reason why you want to wear a different dress? You have a right to not be uncomfortable or embarrassed at her wedding. Yes, this is her "big day" but she also should be thinking about you and your condition. Is the idea of her bride's maids all looking exactly the same more important than your health? I bet that not one single guest will comment on you having a different dress.
It's unfortunate that you might lose a friend over this. Personally, I would try to put aside the issue and just go forward with the promise I made to be in the wedding so I don't lose her as a friend. BUT, that's just me (and yes, I've had medical problems so I know how you feel). If you feel you can't put it aside then go on knowing you may lose a good friend out of the situation. Nobody can tell you what to do but hopefully your friend will come around!
2007-06-23 22:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by tink 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way you can cover up this medical situation?
If not, you are going to just let her be upset. There is nothing wrong with "uneven" brides maids. It unearths me that girls get so uptense about "quanity". It is not the end of the world to have one less. Not going to make it look tacky or bad.
It won't "ruin" her day and if she thinks such a minor thing does, then she is too focused on materials than what the special day is truly about.
You have a medical situation you can not help and it is not like you are wanting it to happen. She is just overly stressed about her own wedding day, she will say and do things that might not be her normal self.
I honestly wouldn't see a problem with finding a different dress. That is why I always think brides should remember, people and things change, especially if there is a long period of getting dresses and the wedding nday.
If she unvited you, the only options you have is to either suck it up and wear it or don't attend and wish her the best. Hoping you two could eventually talk it out once she is not under such wedding stress.
I had to wear an EKG monitor a few times during high school. One time was during a major event. Yes that was embarressing but honestly, I could care less what others think. I was there to have fun and support those involved. I think that is your fault in this as yes it is embarressing, but this day is more focused on the bride. If the bride is OKAY with your medical thing showing, that is an amazing thing cuz a lot of brides would totaly find that a disaster. But seems she still wants you there even though of this situation......
it is her fault to get upset and be very stubborn. You just have to remember her stress and all the emotions she is going through for her to make such harsh choices.
2007-06-23 23:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you wore a different dress, you would stick out much more and EVERYONE would know about your condition because everyone would be asking why you're in a different dress. There would be so much talking going around that it would distract from her wedding anyway. So, I recommend that you write your friend a note of apology and and accept her invitation to not show up. Be classy and wish her the best.
2007-06-24 15:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is there anyway at all to cover up the medial device? Can you get some extra fabric or something? She's being unreasonable trying to make you uncomfortable about your condition. Obviously this is something you find embarrassing, since you won't even mention it to complete strangers. One would think that a friend wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of a ton of people. See if there is some way to cover it up with a wrap or something, if not then I guess you aren't going to the wedding.
2007-06-24 17:14:33 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She is being unreasonable. Nowdays it is becoming more and more common for brides to let their bridesmaids pick out the dress they like, as long as the color goes. Besides, people are going to be looking at her more than the attendants. Does she really think people will have a fit because the bridesmaid dresses aren't identical? Whatever.
2007-06-24 01:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jadalina 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hunny I think that's terrible of her. My best friend is suffering from a disease, and she asked me if she could back out of my wedding, she was in tears and didnt want to "ruin" my day. I told her that was non sense.. she will not ruin my day.. I am her friend and I understand she has a disease that is not in her control. I still consider her a part of my wedding party.. but she will like you, not be able to wear the dress, and she is unable to walk down the isle, and would rather sit with her husband, who is understanding of her disease. I completely understand her situation, and I will have a special corsage made up for her, so she does not feel left out. It does not matter to me that there will be one empty spot, I know she would love to be sitting with us. So yes I do think your friend is a bridezilla. I am sorry you have to go through this. She does not seem a very good friend to me. She will miss out on your friendship and it will be her loss.
Good luck and God bless!
2007-06-23 20:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 8⤊ 1⤋
How unfortunate for both of you. I am certain though her emotions are running rampant, and while she is appearing unsympathetic, I am sure this is not her intent. Maybe you could have another friend mediate this before the wedding and you both can win in this.
2007-06-23 20:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by ggirl 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is being a jerk, a bridezilla to the extreme. She should be first and foremost a friend and I would hope that a friend would not want their friend to be embarrassed by their bridesmaid dress. A different dress is not a big deal and nobody has ever died from uneven bridesmaids. Uninviting you was a bit extreme and completely uncalled for.
2007-06-23 22:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by callie 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
She's being a big baby. Why on earth would she want you to feel uncomfortable or be embarrassed, what kind of a friend wants that. You've given her enough time and reason to compromise and she's being a b*tch to uninvite you. No body should want friends like her, count yourself lucky that you found out what kind of friend she really is.
2007-06-23 21:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
your friend is being very shallow..
i have a friend who wears a brace, every day she finds things we take for granted quite difficult... even just sitting on the ground takes help..
its almost like she is saying 'how dare you have a disability because you are going to wreck my day.' she is way way way out of line.. if she really were a good friend she would NOT have found a prob with it..
im sorry your friend is so shallow
2007-06-24 00:35:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋