My 15mth old has started hitting and biting. What is the best discipline for this age?

Question

We always get down to his level and tell him no. But he just reaches up and smacks me again. I am getting very frustrated and am afraid he is going to hurt another child @ daycare. Any suggestions? I know this is "normal" for his age but I do not know how to get him to understand that it is not allowed. We are very firm with our kids and expect them to be respectful and listen to their elders. But.... how do you help such a young child understand?

first let me add in that i am not doing "NOTHING"... if I was doing NOTHING then I wouldnt even care enough to have asked the question. 2nd- as far as having common sense... I do have planty of common sense and what I think is sensible is that you cannot tell a child not to hit and then turn around and hit them. That is not how we parent in our home. Don't get me wrong... we do spank our older children after they KNOW FOR SURE that what they just did was wrong. Such as telling a lie or something of that nature. Our older children are very well behaved and have never gotten one complaint about being unruly or disrespectful at school or other places. So ... I don't think that the best thing for a BABY is to spank them on their bottom when they have hit someone. I have tried pinching very lightly the inside of his hand and that only made him more agressive!!

Answer 1

does he have a play pen? If he hits, tell him no. If he hits again, out him in his play pen with no toys for a minute or two. After a few repeats he will catch on.

Edit: Never hit a child under the age of three, and even after that do it rarely. Kids will learn that violence solves problems, which it dosent. In the early years, kids have to rely on you to TEACH them right from wrong, not just scare it into them

Answer 2

i wouldn't spank him. i would think that would just reinforce his belief that it's okay to hit other people. time outs, i hear, are effective. but, here's the thing. i don't think people have patience with this kind of stuff. if he hits someone and you put him in time out, he's not going to stop hitting after the first time. it's probably gonna take some doing for him to get the message that it's not acceptable and there are consequences for doing it. he's 15 months, how much respect of elders is he practicing? i have an 18 month old son, though he's never really had a hitting phase, he has bitten on occasion and if you tell him no for anything, he'll just laugh at you. he thinks it's a game. he doesn't get that there are things he cannot do. and i get it, it's very frustrating.

Answer 3

Ohhhhh, I know what you are going through (mother of 6 here). The best thing I found was to give baby time-outs. After saying no immediately after the hit or bite, put him in his playpen or crib for a little bit. Do this every time and he will eventually understand that there will be a consequence. I'd also suggest making sure he has toys that he can bang on (like noise makers) and toys that he can chew on. The hitting and chewing are part of their physical development and he has to have some outlet for it. Just do the time outs when he hits or bites people and animals. Good luck!

Answer 4

This is a tricky situation.... I am under the school of belief that a reasonable spank to the bottom is okay if the situation marrets it and you have already exhausted all other options that you know of but i dont think it should be the first line of action. But with the problem at hand being hitting i would try to avoid the spanking at all cost because children learn from example and that would only confuse him sending mixed messages... " Mommy says its wrong to hit but she hits me?"

You want to be firm. As soon as you are aware a bite or hit has occured stop him in his tracks. Come down to his level and speak in a firm but low tone. There is no need to scream or create un needed mellowdrama. Explain to him what he did was wrong and why it was wrong. Go over what will happen should you see him do that again. The second time you see it stop him again imediately, coming down to his level in that calm tone and explain " Okay mommy told you that it was wrong to bite. We dont bite because its not nice and it hurts our (friends, sister, etc..) when we do that. Since you didnt listen to mommy you have to go to time out now " and take him to his play pen with no toys or a corner, but at his age you will have to stand with him to make him stay there. I would hold him in time out for one minute , two tops. Much longer and it will become ineffective because he wont recall what the point was. The next time you see it happen stop him again and take him straight to time out.

REPEAT THIS AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES, dont give up and stand firm, he will respect you for it. Also dont underestimate his level of intellegence and understanding, we dont give children enough credit.

As for is it normal... i dont know if normal is the word, i think common is a better word. Its a common problem amoung young children. They may pick the habbit up from other children around them, playmates or kids at daycare and because the other children arent scolded they dont know its wrong. Or some may result to it for lack of knowing any other way to express anger or fear or hurt. Im sure time will work this problem out along with good consistant parenting. Good luck!

Answer 5

First I would not EVER hit him.
Second, I would find out the source of the behavior. Usually a day care is where that stuff happens, inquire who watches him and seperate him from the instagator.

Stop all play, immediatley and clearly say no NO no no no no biting no no, and show the bruised area and say NO BITING Not allowed no.

They get it. At 15 months, that was Christmas for My 2nd daugter and she was scolded, and with the same advise about the source, it went away.

I don;t think they naturally bit and hit, they end up doing it from other kids. As it is a line of defending themself it is not fair to hit them
Also, it is hard to teach not to hurt another person, while you hurt them. Example is key.

Answer 6

You're already doing it. Be consistent, be firm, but don't yell or punish. Just make sure he knows it isn't acceptable. He will learn to vent frustrations in another way, but it doesn't happen overnight.
Too many parents confuse discipline with punishment. Discipline comes from the word disciple, as in biblical disciples, who followed a good example, not beaten into submission.

so many have said to hit the child sorry. Telling a child not to hit while you are hitting them will only make them confused, angry, and MORE likely to be physically violent.

Answer 7

Punishments that aren't physical will still be understood by a child his age. Loss of playtime, sitting by himself, or no toys for an hour, etc all work. Remember to congratulate him after these punishments if he does a good job at calming down. The getting down to his level thing is very hit-miss at that age. They don't truely understand that you're trying to show them respect yet, but it's still a smart tactic. Good luck.

Answer 8

I know I'll get major "thumbs down" for this... but I'm sorry I really think the some kids need to get their butts spanked... once in a while... not to the point of abuse.... and not in public...the whole time-out thing doesn't cut it. Has any-one else noticed how obnoxious and disrespectful kids are these days? Everyone is afraid of disciplining their children... I don't understand?

Answer 9

There is an effective way of dealing with an unreasonable child. It's called a spanking, not gently either but not too rough, time outs, swat the mouth when he/she bites, DO NOT SCREAM OR YELL AT THEM, they dont understand why you would do that end even then.

Answer 10

my suggestion is separate him from you. put him in his crib for a certain amount of time that you and your spouse decide on.

most kids do not like separation especially from the parent, if you do this as soon as he hits or bites then perhaps he will learn that all hitting and biting accomplish is not being around you.

that is what we do with our kids, and so far none of mine have bitten more than a couple times!

EDIT: IF you are going to chose physical discipline i would swat his mouth when he bites and swat his hand when he hits. so that he can realize the two are connected. he will realize if he bites you will swat his mouth etc.

good luck!