Do children belong in upscale restaurants in the evenings?

Question

6 of us were dining in a nice upscale, moderately expenisive restaurant last Saturday nite. We were seating at 9, a family with 2 kids seated near us 15 minutes later. Our conversation was not loud, but we didn't whisper either. We were talking about our friend who couldn't get "la1ded" and other adult things.. like who's dating who. etc.
The father of the 2 kids boldly asked up to keep our conversatoin "less adult". because he had kids (it's now 10pm). I told him that we had a right to whatever conversation we wanted.. we didn't use crass or dirty words and were'nt' descriptive. He' was clearly annoyed. Conversation at the next table was about someones apparent boob jobs.. The man was livid.

Isn't there a time and place were kids just DON'T belong. It's 10pm Saturday nite. Our bill came to nearly $1000, I would hope that we could talk about anything we wanted without being PC. We weren't being rude or loud, and management never stepped in.
Am I wrong.

Answer 1

As far as im concerned you are correct. Children should not be in upscale restaurants where adult conversation may take place. That's why you are spending the extra money to be in an environment with people that are your peers. It's not wrong for them to be there if the restaurant permits but the parent should not get upset because of the conversation. He is the one that choose to put them in that environment to begin with and should understand that adults will talk about adult things. If you want to take your kids out why not go to Outback or T.G.I. Fridays. These are more family oriented restaurants where one can take the opportunity to teach their children how to behave in more elegant restaurants.

Answer 2

I can see why you'd be annoyed by this - I would be too. But, the fact is kids are allowed in this restaurant and if they are not causing trouble I see no problem why they can't stay. The father is a bad parent taking his kids to a restaurant where adults would be, especially taking his kids (I assume they are young if he felt the need to shelter them) late at night when people will be having adult conversations or be dating. If the father asks you to be more careful I still think you should respect it somewhat - after all whether you like it or not his kids ARE there and they have the right to be. Next time know where not to sit near.

Side note: If you went to a REALLY upscale restaurant kids would be much less frequent, but you also probably would be more restricted in what things you would talk about anyway (ie. not talking about getting laid) if you were dining in a restuarant of that caliber anyway.

Answer 3

The children weren't the problem, the parents were; parents who are over-concerned busybodies don't belong in upscale restaurants. My parents took me out to dinner when I was little, but I knew how to behave so I didn't scream or cry, and I am sure they would NEVER have told other diners what to discuss at their table!

I'm glad my parents took me to upscale restaurants; it's not like we went every week, more like once or twice a year, but I remember that I loved going, even at a very young age I liked seafood, French cuisine, all kinds of gourmet food much better than hamburgers, fries or pancakes (okay so I was a geeky kid, so what ;)). Don't take that pleasure away from a child because the parents don't know how to behave.

And if I ever meet this father, I would like to tell him that in my experience, it was the kids whose parents were *most* concerned with what they heard who were all excited about the 'forbidden fruits', who whispered the words in the corner of the playground and shared 'dirty' pictures. My parents weren't too concerned about overhearing a conversation like this, of course they didn't talk about everything right in front of me but when I did overhear a word they just said something like 'that's adult stuff' and didn't make a big deal out of it. I am convinced it's because of this that when the 'forbidden fruits' were going around, me & the classmates whose parents weren't so uptight just shrugged and weren't interested at all, or at least not until many years later when our hormones caught up and we finally noticed the boys.

Answer 4

You are correct.

The kids had a right to be there but so did you. I figure it is a calculated risk: take your children to public places where adults frequent and expect to hear adult conversations. If you don't like it, take your children to Chuck E. Cheese, where they would probably enjoy it more anyway.

My gripe: I worked with a woman who brought her four year old to every event (baby shower, bridal shower, going away party, etc.). The husband was usually at home so could have babysit. This woman would frown every time someone said, "damn," or something similar. OF COURSE a four year old shouldn't hear that. A four year old should not have been there in the first place. We all got so irritated that we did not watch out language or what we said at all. We were not talking filthy but we were a group of adult woman having a party and we didn't care if someone swore or told a racy story. (THANKS FOR THE CHANCE TO GET THAT OFF MY MIND)

Answer 5

If the dad was really concerned, he could have changed tables. As long as you weren't crass, extra loud or graphic in your descriptions, it doesn't sound as though your behavior was out of line. How old were the kids, for heaven's sake? With what they see on TV these days, I can't imagine that the kids were shocked, unless they were five year olds, in which case they wouldn't have understood the conversation anyway.

Answer 6

You're NOT wrong. Children do not belong in some places at some times. Having dinner at 10pm is borderline abusive. As long as you weren't yelling and using the F-word as every other word, this man was out of line saying something to you. If he didn't like the conversation, he should have either asked for another table or his order to go.

If you were in a diner at 6pm, it would have been a whole other ballgame!

Answer 7

I'm sorry - but if other tables can hear your conversation, you are too loud - agree with other poster that even other adults will not like to hear about you and your friends sex lives - or lack thereof

I don't think a parent should necessarily have their children out at 9 pm for dinner - but you don't know what was going on with them either - if children are welcome in the establishment - then you, as a patron, can choose whether or not you would like to continue to dine there - your choice - just as it was his to bring his children to a nice meal.

Maybe he thought that it would be a nice treat to take his children for a nice meal at an upscale restaurant - a place where you wouldn't expect other patrons to be having discussions involving sex/adult content.

He was rude in the way he yelled at you - but you and your friends were also rude in the way you responded - when you saw children were present, you should have changed your conversation - bottom line.

Save your adult conversations for when you are sure no other people can hear what you are saying.

Answer 8

I have 4 kids and I don't take them to any restaurant after 8 unless is a family event, exactly for the same reasons you just said....not only I wouldn't want to expose my kids to any kind of adult conversation but I don't want to annoy someone else with my kids crying or fussing because at 10 pm they would be very tired and sleepy. That man shouldn't have asked you to keep your conversation "PG13", if he didn't want his kids to listen he should have asked for "carry out" and eat at home.

Answer 9

Unless posted by the restaurant, children are allowed. I believe they should be. How else will they learn the proper etiquette of eating out unless they are allowed to go? You may not have thought you were being loud, but you must have been if the table next to you could hear your conversation. If you were in an "Upscale" resaurant, why would your dinner conversation be about who is getting what and who is not?? That belongs in private. Seems to me it was your table not practicing etiquette. Just because you spent a lot of money does not excuse you from not using your manners.

Answer 10

You both where still in a very public place. I am a parent who happens to take my child out late due to the fact that I don't get off until late in the evening and it is summertime in some places too boot. Ask yourself if you would like the conversation you where having repeated in front of your children? Next time find some words that could be said without everyone knowing what the whole conversation was actually about.