My parents are divorced and my mom has been dating this guy for 2 years now. But only recently did it start to get really serious. She is spending every waking moment with him and is always asking him to come over and is always asking me to go over to his house for a barbecue and sleep over. I dont feel comfortable with this because I feel like she's trying to force him in. I feel like she's trying to replace my dad and turn her boyfriend into a father figure for me. He's even coming on the family vacation! i tell her all the time i dont want to sleep over and i always make plans to hang out with friends instead. But now shes getting aggravated with me because she thinks that i'm acting stupid by not wanting to go over like every day (like she does) and sleep over. It's not him whos the problem. he's a nice guy, its just the thing is, i already have a dad and i love him very much. What should i do? Because my mom is really getting mad at me.
2007-06-23 08:05:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your mom that you feel uncomfortable being forced to act like this guy is family because he isn't. You can be polite and respectful to him and maybve even be friends with him but like you said, he will never replace your dad. Have you thought about the possibility of living with your dad?
No offense to your mom, but it seems like she is more concerned with rearranging everyone else's life to suit her needs without thinking of your needs. She should not have even been dating until she finished raising the kids she already has. What's next? Moving you away from your dad so she can 'move on with her life'?
2007-06-23 22:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your age, it can feel like your mom is trying to replace your dad. It must be a really difficult time for you.
On the other hand, your mom has probably fallen head over heals in love with this guy, and wants you to share in her feelings of happiness.
Maybe you can explain to your mom that you like the guy (moms would really love to be able to read their kids minds, but unfortunately can't) , but you love your dad, and as much as you want your mom to be happy, there is no man that can replace your father. A lot of moms usually realize that they have been too pushy when you try to explain to them how you're feeling. Try to keep your tone calm, and do your best to avoid an argument. Try to show your mom that you support her choices.
Ultimately, your mom is the one who makes the decisions when it comes to her bf staying over, or going with you on holiday. You'll just have to try your best to deal with it.
Your problem is that you aren't used to the new dynamics and energy of this potential new family situation. You're probably still used to the way it was, or how it could have been. Or it could be that you feel this man cramps your home lifestyle.
For yourself, you already know that you have one dad that you love, but this man could also be someone that you could learn to love as a friend. Count yourself lucky, some of us don't have a father at all.
Good luck with the situation, & hope all works out for you :)
2007-06-23 08:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by eviichristensen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he is trying to replace your father. It sounds like your mom is in love and wanting to have a life with him. Its natural to include you in everything, you are her child and will be a part of this new family. After two years, its likely that its a sure thing.
It doesn't sound like you have come to terms with your folks divorcing. You need to see if this is true and be honest with your mother, not accusatory or angry. Ask her to see a counselor to help you cope with the grief of the loss of your life as you knew it and to develop some communication skills to help ease the future. Its natural to feel resentful, no one ever asks kids if they want their family to split up. And parents don't like to confront their mistakes.
You said this is a nice guy. Why not make friends with him? That way he is always your friend and can never be your father. Good luck.
2007-06-23 08:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she is not trying to replace your father, but she needs to move on with her life too. This stuff is probably recent because she wanted to make sure he was the one and he'd stick around.
I know it is tough, but you should talk with her and tell her how you feel, she will be able to understand your side and probably won't get so angry with you.
If this guy is nice and good to your mother maybe you should try to be nicer to him and hang out with him more. It is always good to have people im your life, and you will probably be able to go to him for help someday if you needed to.
When my mother had her first boyfriend after my father passed it was tough, but time makes things easier and your father is still around, he will probably get a girlfriend and move on too.
You may be acting a little selfish, they deserve happiness too.
2007-06-23 08:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one sweetie can ever replace your dad.Just tell your mom,right now you aren't comfortable going to his home.It's been 2 years for your mom so it isn't like this happened over night sweetie..Give them both a break and open your heart...Your mom has someone new in her life sweetie,but that doesn't mean ever that she or him is trying to replace your dad.She's not replacing your dad..She is simply getting a new life and getting on with it..Try very hard sweetie.BEST OF LUCK
2007-06-23 08:19:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she already picked your dad out for you when she gave birth to you and that if she thought that was a mistake then what makes her think this new guy isnt a mistake. Tell her you love your own dad and thats enough for you and that if she likes this guy youll support her emotionally in her choice for herself but she should also respect how you feel, that you like the guy just not as a dad.
2007-06-23 08:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think mom is really trying to replace your dad as she is trying get you to fit in with him. sounds like they are serious and maybe even thinking of marriage and she is trying to make a new family. let her know you like him, but he'll never replace your dad, and she shouldn't expect it. you're happy if she is happy and you'll will work with them to make things work but not to pressure you into making him a father figure because he is not. don't make it a fighting match, just explain to her how you feel.
2007-06-23 09:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no guy would desire to ever replace your dad, your mom needs to circulate on along with her existence. it rather is a not effortless component to settle for however the international purely keeps on spinning. the older you get the greater you will comprehend this. my dad died the day till now i began out hs. my mom waited some yrs till now she dated I hated it even though it finally hit me she needs to be happy additionally. save your chin up it gets greater convenient. provide this guy of project
2016-11-07 07:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and tell her that you have a problem with it. i'm sure you don't mind her marrying but tell her that you already have a dad that loves you and you the same. and you don't need a new one
2007-06-23 08:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by kuki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋