I stopped by my Uncle's/Older sister's house this week to drop off something. She lives with her dad and my niece (her daughter), who is 11. I came in the side door to the kitchen. I heard rocking and creaking coming from upstairs. As I put the item I was dropping off on the kitchen table, I heard a loud moan. Knowing my sister and my uncle were not home so I ran upstairs. I quickly opened the door and found her boyfriend, 16, sitting at the edge of the bed with his shirt off and the covers over him. I am guessing he was either naked or in his underwear. He had an X-box controller in his hand but the xbox looked like it just was turned on. Just then, I heard the shower turn on. My niece has her own bathroom connected to her room. I knocked on the door and she said, "I'm in the shower, go away". I looked on the ground and saw a condom that had been used. I'm not stupid. But I do not want to start world war 3 in my uncle's house. What the heck is my next course of action?
2007-06-23 07:16:13 · 31 answers · asked by CuriousMaude 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
FYI:
Her boyfriend was a;; sweaty and looked very out of breath and scared to see me. My niece, who is usually nice to me, no matter what, told me to go away. Both weird. I just do not want to be the one my niece hates as well as the girl who threw this guy in jail and also the one that started a whole load of trouble in a household I do not even live at. Not to mention what will happen to our family.
2007-06-23 07:18:19 · update #1
BTW, she is 11 and I believe he is 16.
2007-06-23 07:19:21 · update #2
You have to tell your sister. It won't be pleasant, but WW III sure as hell beats having a pregnant 11 year old.
2007-06-23 08:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by Gorilla 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your niece, ask him how old the boy is, make sure she understands how much trouble he can be in if he is indeed 16. Even though they know enough to use a condom, they may not realize the legal implications of having sex together over the legal/non legal age barrier! I also think you should tell your sister, even if your niece & her boyfriend agree to hold off she should keep an eye on these two.
I don't think you should go to the police right away unless you get the impression the boy has been the motivating force in persuading your niece, and/or if he refuses to stop seeing her or at least having sex with her. As someone pointed out earlier, you don't know what she told him; I've heard enough cases of girls lying to boys about their age and then the law still punishes the boy *very* harshly while all they did was being not too vigilant in checking up on the girl's story!
2007-06-23 16:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why has your 11 year old niece got a 16 year old for a boyfriend? What the heck is going on that allows that to happen?
She is still a small child and she has a 16 year hanging around with her?
Sorry, but that whole house is messed up !!! It's wrong.
2007-06-24 02:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your worried about starting a war? How so? I would ABSOLUTELY want my sibling to tell me that someone was raping my 11 year old child...because thats what this is..she's 11 and its rape- Think about it seriously instead of only about yourself and what suits you.... An 11 year old CAN NOT possibly consent to sex....coerced- yes, manipulated-yes, forced- YES...
You have an obligation to tell her mother so she can call the police... or you need to call the police
You're a dumbass and an accessory to rape, also the REAL 'world war 3" will be when that poor little girl ends up pregnant or infected with a disease and her mother (your sister) finds out you knew all along that this 16 yr old "boy" was having sex with her
2007-06-24 02:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by busymum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a teenager your not going to stop it no matter what you do but she is to young to have a baby and he is to young to be a father. Condoms don't work very well we have a high school full of pregnant teenagers to prove it.
Talk to her and get her on the pill. Nothing you say to her dad will work. Go to planned parenthood doesn't require parental consent. They give her a check up and pills.
Those girls talk about how it ruined their life and why didn't their parents get them help they had toknow what we were doing. They will blame you, her dad and all adults when she gets pregnant. Sometimes they get abortions because the dr. says they are to young to deliver a child. That scars them for life. Act now! don't wait til she is pregnant. Then she will hate you.
2007-06-23 07:25:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What kind of parent allows an 11 year old to date a 16 year and leave the two of them alone? You have to tell your sister immediately. I don't know where you live but where I come from that's child molestation.
2007-06-27 04:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like most of the people who answered, I'm appalled that you had to ask. What you should have done should have been done right there. And that is to get the 16 year old to give you his name, address and parent's name, scold your 11 year old niece, save the condom as evidence for the courts (icky!), call your Uncle and sister to get home immediately. Your being afraid of what people will think about you is nothing compared to the path your niece is chosing. In the long run you would have saved her. Good luck!
2007-06-23 07:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Fred 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Start WWIII! You need to help put a stop to this before both of them mess up their lives forever. I don't think the 16 year old can go to jail though, he's a minor himself. If he was 18, than yes.
Step in and tell her parents, she'll thank you for it one day, years from now, when she realizes what she was doing was stupid.
2007-06-23 07:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not real clear on who's who here. Are you saying that your 11-year-old niece has a 16-year-old boyfriend ? If you are, who are these people? Don't worry about WW3, your niece is being molested! Pull your head out and call the cops already before your niece's life is ruined!
2007-06-23 07:25:17 · answer #9 · answered by Nightlight 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
i agree with those who say that YOU SHOULD NOT tell her parents (yet). you should talk to her one-on-one, and ask her what has been going on. hopefully, she will listen to and confide in you since you say that the two of you have always been on good terms; make sure to tell her that everything she tells you will be confidential. ask her why she feels she needs to have sex with her boyfriend, etc.
then, the two of you can decide which course of action to take: whether to tell her parents, go to a planned parenthood center, etc.
yes, i agree that an 11 yr. old having sex with a 16 year old is very very WRONG, but you can't just go intruding on her privacy & breaking her trust!
(also, just as a comment to all those that say the 16 yr old should be sent to jail: they are both minors, so it is illegal for BOTH of them to be having sex; also, the boyfriend cant be sent to jail since he is not legally an adult yet)
2007-06-23 07:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by maya 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Beat the crap out of him. Send that scumbag to hospital, better yet, the morgue. If my niece ever had a boyfriend, I'm just gonna murder him.
2016-10-18 00:59:09 · answer #11 · answered by Mat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋