Should an 11yo be on birth control if you think she ight be sexually active in the near future?

Question

My 11yo nice has a 16yo boyfriend. After posting another question here previously, I figured I would add this as an add-on.

One person mentioned she should be on birth control. After reading that, I agree. I mean, they may not have sex but its better to have her on it to be on the safe side. Also, should I explain to her about the birds and the bees, I mean, with whatever she doesn't know, so she is more prepared just in case? Is there anyway, being 18, I can help her get the birth control?

I really do not plan on the two of them having sex. I am also neutral on it. I am not for or against it. I feel what they do in their bedroom is none of anyone's business, including her parents or myself. I also feel that no matter how much I educate my niece or maybe threaten this boy, if they are going to have sex, they will have sex. There will be nothing anyone can do to stop it. So I'd rather educate her and be proactive instead of her & the family being quite surprised.

Answer 1

I am very liberal about sex too but 11 is way too young. Tell her parents to break them up and watch her like a hawk.

Answer 2

I feel like this 11 yr old girl is in a really rough position. An 11 yr old should not have a 16 yr old boyfriend under any circumstances. An 11 yr old girl is a child, in all senses of the word and she needs to be taken care of by her parents or other trustworthy adults. She needs to be educated completely about sex and love and reproductive issues. She needs to understands the issues that 16 yr old boys have and understand why her relationship with a 16 yr old boy is not healthy. It is not his job to take care of her or have her best interest in mind. He has his own issues, I'm certain, if he is looking to an 11 yr old as a girlfriend. Does anyone you know of have access to a therapist or family doctor? This child needs to get help for her emotional and physical well being. She certainly should be on birth control if there is any chance she may be sexually active. However, she should be given every opportunity to learn why she should not become sexually active until she is much older and then it should be with someone of her own age. Please do what ever you can to find her someone to help her.

Answer 3

I think you're taking a wise approach. Obviously the best advice about the relationship is that the age difference in that relationship is far too great, and most likely illegal in some way or another in most states. Considering that most teens lose their virginity from 16-18, the pairing of an 11 year old with a 16 year old is alarming.

It appears though, that you understand that you cannot completely control the citation and are trying as hard as possible to at least make the best of it. As countless studies have shown, preaching abstinence has little to no effect against years of evolutionary science tuning our bodies to essentially be sex machines.

Birth control can be started whenever a young women begins to menstruate so she could be put on it. You really need to stress the importance of condoms as well, and that birth control does not prevent disease.

It should be remembered that birth control is only effective if taken at the same time daily. This is a huge responsibility for a 11 year old, just as sex is a huge responsibility as well.

Answer 4

Eleven is to young to be having sex. Not only that a sixteen year old boy shouldn't be messing around with an eleven year old girl. Does her parents allow this? At eleven what ever she is doing is her parents business. You are right about one thing if she is determined to have sex she will have it one way or the other, But she should not be encouraged if anything she should be told what could happen if she does become sexually active at this early age. Also if her parents don't know about this boy they should be told. If once she knows the cons of having sex this young, she desides to have sex then yes she should protect herself from pregnancy and STD,s Just a thought if you are the one to tell her about the birds and bees and put her on birth control and if something goes wrong who do you think is going to be to blame for it.

Answer 5

I'm kind of torn between this question.

Firstly, I think 11 years old is WAY too young, and why the heck is a 16 year old dating your 11 year old neice? 11 years old is 5th grade, 16 years old is 10th!! If my 11 year old neice had a 16 year old boyfriend, I'd stop that relationship RIGHT AWAY. Think about all the things that could happen: the 16 year old is way more mature than her, and may just want to be with your neice because he wants to have sex and knows that an 11 year old wouldn't know any better. Think about how much your 11 year old neice looks up to him, she could be easily manipulated.

Secondly, I think birth control is a great idea, because it would be absolutely HORRIBLE if an 11 year old became pregnant. On the other hand, she might feel that having birth control 'gives her permission' to have sex. She might feel that the consequence of pregnancy is null and go ahead and have sex with this boy.

11 years old is still a CHILD, and CHILDREN don't need to be having sex.

As a responsible aunt, please tell her parents about her 16 year old boyfriend, that is an unhealthy relationship. I also think that you educating her about sex is a great idea. She needs to know the consequences of sex: pregnancy, STDs, etc. I think the only way you could help her get the birthcontrol is if you were her legal gaurdian.

I will disagree with you on one point. You stated that what she does in her bedroom is no one's business. I feel that it is DEFINATELY her parent's business to know if their 11 year old is sexually active. She is 11, as I said before, 11 is a CHILD. I think her parents could actually be considered neglectful if she ended up having sex and getting pregnant and they didn't even know about it.

Please think hard on this issue. Definately tell her parents, and definately get her out of this disfunctional relationship.

Answer 6

This question has made me so angry. The world we live in today is messed up because of people like you. I have no problem with a 16 year old having sex, but an 11 year old? They are in fifth grade and still playing with Barbie dolls. That is the sickest thing I have ever heard. You should go to jail for even condoning that. You need to take responsibility as an adult, which you aren't acting like at all- you're acting like the 11 year old in the situation- and tell her parents! Why would a 16 year old boy be interested in an 11 year old anyway? He obviously is only interested in boning her and moving on. You are disgusting.

Answer 7

You're 11 yr old niece shouldn't have a 16 yr old boyfriend. She is a child. He is a teenager. Are you in America?? B/C that is VERY ILLEGAL!!! That's statutory rape. It is very much her parents business. if you or her parents do nothing about this, then you do not have this lil girls best interest and future in mind. You're bad family. It's not just getting pregnant. Birth Control does NOT always work. There are STD's she can get that will mess up her life completely. She is 11. She needs to be an 11 yr old and not an adult. Get a grip on reality here.

Answer 8

Eleven year old children shouldn't be "dating" in the first place. She is still a child.

I don't think any reasonable doctor would give birth control to a child of this age, anyway. Birth control pills are generally prescribed to people fifteen years of age or older and there are side effects and consequences for taking them. Including, risk of heart attack, blood clots, and stroke. There is still a risk of getting STD's even if you are practicing safe sex.

I consider myself a very liberal person, but this just seems completely asinine! This kid can't be more than a fifth grader!

You are right, you should educate her. Be overwhelmingly honest. Take her to meet some girls that have gotten pregnant at an early age. Let them tell her what it's like to have your life ended at twelve or thirteen.

Answer 9

Your responsibilities here are clear: you are the aunt, and have intuition that an inappropriate relationship is going on between a 16 year old and an 11 year old (just the relationship itself is inappropriate, nevermind it going to the intimate level!).

These things have to happen immediately: the 16 year old must be made to understand that he is on the cutting edge of a felony for child endangerment (and you are, too) and the 11 year old must be made to understand that she has to stop seeing this boy now.

The parents must be informed about this relationship - both the girl's AND the boy's.

You're going to be surprised at how many responses on here will encourage you to call the police, too ... I'm just about one step from that advice myself.

Finally, do not give birth control to an 11 year old. Her sex education is something you should clear with her parents or school before delving into.

Your published statement, "...I am also neutral on it. I am not for or against it. I feel what they do in their bedroom is none of anyone's business, including her parents or myself..." is going to come back and haunt you.

You're playing in dangerous waters, here. The newspapers will call you the "co-defendant" if you don't take appropriate action now.

Answer 10

have you ever heard of statuatory rape? In most states if one is over 2 years older than the other it against the law and the older one gets in some pretty serious trouble until they are both of age usually 18 that's the first thing the second is that an 11yo should not even be thinking of sex and her parents definately need to know so thay can protect their baby and have the talks with her other than that you need to let tham know what you think may or may not happen

Answer 11

I have degrees in both psychology and developmental education as well as a 8 year old daughter, which is where this comment is coming from. Any 11 year old child dating a 16 year old is lacking the feeling of love and understanding (self-worth) from an authority figure. This has nothing to do with should she be on birth control. She should break up with the guy and go to a counselor to figure out why she needs that kind of attention.