Question: I understand that marriage between a member and an apostate is discouraged, and thanks to my last question I understand why, but is dating an apostate also discouraged? Would this cause problems between the member and her family? What if the apostate were open to possible conversion?
Background: I’ve met the most amazing lady. She is intelligent, beautiful, yet humble and very enjoyable to talk to. We have spoken to each other many times, each time a little more in depth. On one occasion she told me that she is Mormon or LDS and asked what my faith is. This stuck in my head because I can sense that she is very religious and I am not. I believe in or at least acknowledge that God exists and that we should all be good to one another and live by a code of moral values. Even though it is obvious that there is strong chemistry between us, I have been reluctant to ask her out. I believe that anyone I date could potentially become a serious relationship and perhaps even lead to marriage, so therefore I am very selective of who I date. She exceeds every criterion I have by a mile! The only area of concern for me is that I wouldn’t want her to jeopardize her relationship with her family or compromise her religious values. I know there are many silly questions asked on this forum, but this isn’t one of them. Thank you in advance to all who give me a thoughtful answer.
2007-06-23 05:43:07 · 6 answers · asked by Steve W 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Your detailed explanation suggests that you have an open mind to learn more about your friends beliefs. You are right to respect her beliefs and not want her to jeopardize those beliefs. She would be right not to get serious with a nonbeliever because a couple working at cross paths with each others beliefs is inviting discord and contention. My suggestion is for you to seriously examine her beliefs and see if you find them to your liking.
What I will tell you is that her belief system is what makes her the wonderful, special person that she is. Without her faith, she would be just like all the other young ladies you have met. Therefore, it behooves you to find out more about her faith that makes her the wonderful person that she is.
All you have to do is ask her to tell you more about her beliefs. Ask her if you can study with her to learn more about her faith. She will be more than willing to assist you. These study sessions will become the foundation of a lasting relationship that will enrich both of your lives. You will get to know each other better in this way than in any other because the discussions you will have about the importance of life itself will be more meaningful than any other discussions you can have.
I promise you will not regret this course of action.
2007-06-23 06:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by rac 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she believes as she does, and you don't, you'll recall that the 'man' is her only ticket to the CK. A relationship with her is supposed to be 'eternal', and if you don't come around and submit or at least lie, you do her a disservice in the (really) long run. So, either you end up respecting her expectations for eternity, or you 'keep her for yourself', and deny another righteous priesthood bearer what should be rightfully his.
Or, she'll have the opportunity to marry an RM in the afterlife, you'll be sent somewhere else, and never see your relations again. Take the religious element out of the equation, and the answer is so much easier.
Better talk it over with her bluntly and openly before too long. From her point of view, her 'salvation' may be at stake.
2007-06-23 14:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dances with Poultry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An apostate in mormon eyes are ex members of the church.
Looks like from you are writing, you are just a non member.
Relationships with non members are discouraged, because the husband and bride can't marry in the temple without both people baptized in the church and in good standing for at least 1 year after baptism. If you really have a relationship or want one with her , you must talk to her and possibly have discussions with the missionaries in her ward. (congregation)
www.lds.org
www.mormon.org
www.fairlds.org
2007-06-23 06:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by Brother G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At first reading your question I had assumed that either you or the lady had apostasized from the Church. This is not the case and you are not an apostate since you're not a member of the Church.
Go ahead and date the woman, but be prepared that you cannot sway her from her religion. It is most important to her.
2007-06-23 06:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Who doesn't? Almost everyone who is LDS (especially raised LDS) has a family member who is inactive. The other two are a little more rare, but it's still pretty common.
2016-04-01 00:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out about her beliefs and why she holds them so dear. Do it before you ask her out. Do it before a romantic relationship starts. Also, check out www.lds.org it will help you understand her faith a bit more. Like I said...it is better to do it BEFORE a romantic relationship happens. But ask her help and guidance in your study...you will get to know her better than if you started a romantic relationship with her first. Also, it will show her and her parents that you have a great deal of respect for her and them that you are willing to find out about their faith. Good Luck.
2007-06-23 06:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by LDS~Tenshi~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋