What would jesus have done if a child punched him in the testicles?

Question

Seriously, what do you think he would have done?

Once I was at a party in Virginia, and a kid came up to me and did that, for no reason, I didnt know him. I wanted to take him to the woods and murder him or at least beat his father to death, but i didnt know where his parent were, I just took the punch and went on my way, I guys Jesus would have done similar. Maybe i'm Christlike?

Wow I never heard about that Fig tree story before this question, so I researched it. Jesus was hungry and he went to get fruit from a fig tree, but the tree was bare since it was not the season for fruit, so he cursed the tree saying "may noone ever get fruit from you again" the next day the tree had died, and jesus told his followers ask and you will receive. doesnt that seem spitefull and selfish? If i cant have it noone can! Jesus wasnt being very christian ironically.

Answer 1

It's a moot question, because the very existence of external (and vulnerable) testicles is proof that an omnipotent supreme being doesn't exist.

The only reason the testicles hang out is because normal body temperature is too high to produce semen - it's physically, chemically, impossible at 98.7 degrees (or 37 C). If God were an omnipotent, perfect creator, he would have just fudged the chemistry to allow the reproductive organs to be contained safely inside the body - clearly a superior design. As it is, evolution made do with the existing laws of chemistry.

Answer 2

Jesus wouldn't even have thought to harm the child or father. Let alone carry it out. But the scenario is ridiculous.

Oh, and you better get some ice on those.

Answer 3

Well, considering what he did in the temple when people were converting money & profiting from it... or when that dang tree didn't give him fruit when he wanted it... I'd say he'd probably go sodom and gomorrah on the kid and turn him into a pillar of salt.

Answer 4

Same thing he did to the Fig tree. Children like that need discipline.

Answer 5

He certainly would not have retaliated...he would have loved the child and spoken to him at his need.....the child would have walked away changed. Then Jesus would have spoken this:
"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you";Mattew 5;44

Answer 6

Hopefully the proper response. Kick the kid back in the balls so he knows how it feels.

Dude! He kicked you in the balls. The does constitute murdering him or his Dad. Jesus certainly would not have done that. However I think the kid deserves a swift kick in the balls though.

Answer 7

I would have kicked him square in the nuts but I think Jesus would have just turned his testicles into wine.

Answer 8

He would have taken it like a man. After all he created the weakness of testicles.

Answer 9

Good Question

Answer 10

well when Jesus was alive in his physical form, children were actually brought up by their parents, not by television and teenaged baby sitters. children were brought up with morals and values and taught to respect their elders, and eveyone else for that matter... so, that isn't something that would have ever happened.

to add something to this, you should watch "the passion"... and you will find out for yourself exactly how he would have reacted...