What point in a relationship is the best time to reveal to her that I have been abducted and violated by Aliens. Is there a best way to approach this. I am afraid that she will think I am crazy. I have been through this before and it did not go well. I have to tell her about it at some point because if we move in together she is going to be pretty curious about me sleeping in a room lined with tinfoil. I also have to disconnect the telephone after every call and I never go outside without tinfoil lining my hat. The tin foil masks my brain waves so that they cannot locate me, in case you were wondering. I mask my Q&A to stop them tracking me that way. I know it sounds silly but if you knew what I know you would all be doing the same. .
Anyway how do I break it to my girlfriend? Has anyone out there been through the same thing?
2007-06-23 01:29:13 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Incoming alien radio transmission...
THE ALIENS TO PENFOLD... THE ALIENS TO PENFOLD...
THANK YOU FOR USING TIN FOIL TO MAKE IT EASIER TO TRACK YOU DOWN. WE CAN SEE YOU NOW. IT'S GOOD THAT YOU HUMANS HAVE SO SERIOUSLY ACCEPTED OUR PROPAGANDA THAT TINFOIL BLOCKS YOUR BRAIN WAVES... WHEN IN FACT IT AMPLIFIES THEM. THANKYOU FOR MAKING IT SO EASY FOR US- AND ALL OTHER ALIENS- TO TRACK YOU DOWN. THAT'S JUST GREAT.
OKAY, PENFOLD...WE HAVE JUST FINISHED RECORDING THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF YOUR WEAK HUMAN BRAIN, PENFOLD. IT'S BLAND AND WEAK... BUT USEFUL. YOU CAN REMOVE THE TIN FOIL HAT NOW. WE HAVE YOUR ADDRESS NOW. THANX. WE CAN SEE YOU. THAT'S GOOD. WE'LL NEED SEVERAL ASSORTED TASTY PARTS OF YOUR BODY- LATER.
SIGNED,
FEK-NAR THE THROBBING OOZY ALIEN BRAIN
P.S. SORRY ABOUT THE OVERSIZED BODY-ORIFICE PROBES. THE ROOKY THAT USED THEM IN YOU... HAS BEEN EATEN. *SLURP!* FINE DISCIPLINE.
P.P.S. OH, AND ANOTHER THING... YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS ONE OUR DISGUISED ALIEN AGENTS. BUT DON'T TELL HER THAT YOU KNOW! IF YOU DO... YOU'RE DONE FOR. BELIEVE IT. JUST PLAY ALONG... AND YOU'LL BE FINE...
2007-06-23 01:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jonathan Rich 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must be honest with her. If she runs away screaming, she never was the girl for you. OTOH, if she pulls off her hat to reveal ... a TINFOIL LINING, you'll know it's a match made in heaven (or possibly she's an undercover alien, but a relationship should be based on trust so try not to think about that).
Burt Campbell went through almost the exact same situation -- you might try buying the SOAP DVDs and see how he handled it. Mary forgave him, but almost went crazy wondering if her baby was Burt's, or the alien that took his place while he was being abducted/violated.
Much luck, and remember to recycle the tin foil when you are done.
2007-06-23 02:17:07 · answer #2 · answered by Madame M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should tell her now and if she thinks your crazy then find someone else. It doesn't matter what you do on the outside. what matters is what you do on the inside. If she thinks your crazy then she doesn't love you enough to accept what your doing. If she does love you then she will get over it and do it too because when you guys live together the Aliens can be tracking her too. By the way what happened between you and the aliens????
2007-06-23 01:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Orlando what a cyst"... one of your avid readers had the right answer to your pathetic question. It would be an awful waste of space, filling the hole in your head, with your imagined girlfriend. This is the dumbest try of finding someone suitable for you here in the holy Halls of Y/A in your tinfoil warped head, using malicious trickery and feeling sorry ain't going to help,
because you can not give her a good workout on your disfigured and hopelessly misaligned keyboard.
no you should be straight with her and tell her the truth, be brave maybe she understands and is also from Qpax
2007-06-23 05:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nooooo...I can't say I have, and I'm not saying I DON'T beleive you, I'm just saying it's very hard to beleive. Anyway, you should probably tell her as soon as possible...she might think it's a little odd, but after all, who wouldn't (no offense) but if she really wants to be with you, then she should understand....
P.S...wouldn't she be a little curious about the tinfoil on your hat?
2007-06-23 01:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There there, little bear... Cinnamon and the rest of the people who know you also feel that we have all been "violated", be it in a slightly different way. Every time someone reads your poetry for the first time, they can hear the sizzle of their own grey matter. You may say it is exactly like getting an unlubricated, steel-cold anal probe (not that I know anything about that personally, Jack Torrance told me, in detail). So buck-up you little f**kface, pull those panties out of you know where, whipe the mascara of your beautifull face, and let's go destroy young minds monkey boy!!! Wee-ha!
2007-06-23 04:08:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's going to think the same, no such Extraterrestrial life yet, is that your biggest secret??? think about what will happen if you tell her, nothing she'll just think that you're crazy, or are you just playing with your GF just to break her? everyone will think the same, because of your "Secret" we all have been through that "Secret" except being abducted by aliens......dude, don't play with the girl's heart.....Karma has ways to get back....
2007-06-23 01:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by DARKSTAR 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
r u serious? if u r, you should be very carefull about how to approach to you girl with this, cause most of the people would think u r out of you mind and run away from you asap. I fell sorry 4 u. but hey if she loves u she could maybe even try to understand and believe u.
2007-06-23 01:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by leynas 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lay off the weed, it is frying your brain... and get help, fake sophistry is the last refuge of an intellectual failure...
to answer you question, yeah, man, yeah, I have been there and I feel your itch... man...
Yo!!! Stooge "But seriously, kill your girlfriend before it becomes a wife " there is a fine line between stupidity and wit, you have crossed it, now, which way were you going ???... Quo vadis ?
2007-06-23 04:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ASAP She's going to wonder about that anal probe thing anyway, best to just get it out in the open.. Let the healing begin...
2007-06-23 03:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by The Dark Prince 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋