After separating with my wife several months ago, it now looks like we are not getting back together. We had been together for 12 years, she was my first sexual partner (we met when we were 20) and now I'm scared (but excited, but more scared...!) about not only the prospect of finding someone new, but if I can satisfy them sexually or not. I'm not bad, but I ain't great either...but up to now my ex was always, well, pleasant with her feedback about it. NOW what are women's expectations in bed generally? What things can I do or improve on in this regard? Does it matter, because I am quite 'attentive' in foreplay, though once I get going it doesn't last a great deal of time... ha ha * sigh *....any feedback is welcome..this is the biggest thing that scares me about dating again after so long...LADIES WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS!?!
2007-06-22 18:53:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I KNOW sex isn't everything...I have a positive attitude, good job and family...its just one thing thats on my mind I guess after having only one partner. I don't plan on sleeping with everything that moves either - thats not my thing...perhaps the simple answer is not to put expectation on it - and just go with the beauty that this life!
2007-06-22 19:02:29 · update #1
There are some GREAT responses here...THANK YOU to all that have given their time. In an odd way, I have a new confidence already about what to expect / how to handle things IN GOOD TIME. I would much rather meet someone, get to know them / be comfortable and let nature run its course. It's true, I have not long been out of a long-term relationship....however, right now it doesn't look like its going to get back on track. I'm not in a super-hurry to find someone new (have tried that, but it DOES NOT work when there are unresolved feelings / issues for ex) and am more preparing myself mentally for the outcome down the track should a divorce be final. Take care all!
2007-06-22 19:13:55 · update #2
Wow- you give a lot of foreplay? For some women that's all that really matters.
I think that it really depends on the girl you are dating. Some really don't take a long time, especially if they are getting good foreplay. I personally don't take a very long time to finish, especially if there is good foreplay. I also think that fooling around with someone that I am into for more than sex is also a great turn on as well.
If you are worried about your performance, you may want to try picking up a few sexual technique books at your local bookstore. They can give tips about lasting longer, as well as maneuvers that will drive your partner insane!
As far as being nervous about getting back into the game, you may want to check out some of the 'newly single' groups in the area. Hobby groups are usually great places to meet people, as are night classes. Don't push yourself too hard, as you are still getting over the loss of a long term serious relationship. You don't want to jump into a relationship only to find that you still have issues that need to be resolved.
2007-06-22 19:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know you're not great? You say your wife's feedback was always "pleasant." Every woman is different, and personally I love tons and tons of foreplay. I would just advise you to take your time with a new woman, get to know her, let her take the lead. It drives women nuts if a man does not want sex in a due amount of time. As far as not taking too long, I don't take too long after a lot of foreplay either. My man likes to fool me, after he gets there, he wants to stay! He says he just enjoys it too much. I let him stay, but I can always tell that he came. Just relax, you sound like a nice guy, and you will find someone nice.
2007-06-22 19:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by Catherine R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends what kind of relationship you're looking for with your new partner.
If you're not really over your wife (you say it doesn't lok like you're going to get back together, but does this mean you don't want to?) then I'd play safe and opt for a friendship approach to any new hopefuls and nuture anything that appears to flower from this.
If you build your foundations well, you will be so comfortable with your new partner that the 'sex' thing will be much less of an issue. and will be part of a very natural progression.
My own expectation are for a guy to be kind, respectful and sensitive in bed. Strutting studs are all very well to look at, but believe me, they're hell to live with.
Don't worry. Just be yourself hon, I'm sure it's all you need.
Good luck x
2007-06-22 19:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, there is no blanket, one-size-fits-all answer; there are as many answers to this question as there are women. Some desire a lot of foreplay, others just want to get to "the act"; some love clitoral stimulation, some can barely stand it. The only way to find out is to talk to your partner; if you're nervous, tell her! Hopefully, by the time you get to the point where you're having sex, you'll be comfortable enough with her to lay out your fears, expectations, etc., and listen to hers. Good luck.
2007-06-22 19:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by Faith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think that perhaps its too soon to even be considering having sex with another woman. First you have to meet someone, enjoy their company, fall in love etc...
Or perhaps I'm just old fashioned. But I'm a woman and I would also be scared if I thought a man I was about to meet was wondering if he could satisfy me sexually.
I would rather he had other thoughts on his mind about how to give me a fun time.
Give yourself time to heal from the marriage.
Good luck! You will be fine when the right time comes.
2007-06-22 19:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This song is not music by any stretch of the word. It's just a bunch of static and dumb-*** screams. I could only handle 2:30 of that incoherent noise before I shut it off, it's even more disturbing to know the 10 minute "song" you linked us to was only an excerpt of the full track. I don't wanna know how long it is in full. That noise didn't make me wanna kill myself, but instead I wanted to kill the idiot(s) that make the bullshit in the first place.
2016-05-18 01:03:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry....there are women just like you out there. that was one reason why i wouldnt let my ex go. i am so scared to start over, but i have to. its not really that im afraid to start over but it seems like so much work since i invested so much of myself into the relationship. anyway, i hope to run into someone that is very respectful of me and what i love, he's honest, and takes care of himself(physically and financially). when it comes to sex.....if we connect emotionally then everything else will fall in place there. although these things arent really that important to me, but i would like someone who can make me laugh, he doesnt mind being a big kid sometimes, and be a man when the time is right!
2007-06-22 19:06:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what women want these days? your not going out for a new wardrobe right? you are going to date right? just stay within your age group and you should be ok. I would be more worried or scared as you put it about aids rather then being satisfying to women.. and just a tip your sounding like some what of a dork.
2007-06-22 18:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I am not a lady ! Bed lady need time to feel ! gain some experiences from some bad movies (DON'T WATCH TOO MUCH OR YA'LL BE BAD !!!)
2007-06-22 18:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by crystal_heart100 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you just have to get over your wife, she is gone. Move on you will feel better. It sounds like you are a good man, but I REALLY DO NOT KNOW! Hahaha follow your heart. Peace.
2007-06-22 18:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by Nekisha r 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋