If you are a fundy, what gives you away?

Question

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Evil Bible.com

Answer 1

The simple answer is that fundamentalists are not followers of the Christian faith!!!! That's right!! They are followers of an ideology and are therefore ideologues.

There is a very substantial difference.

You can tell them apart from Christians by the fact that Christians cringe in their presence!

Answer 2

you asked a question and then answered it yourself.
I am a Christian, I do not roll on the flooror speak in tongues, I have studied the entire Bible, there is only one God, the rest are idols of wood and stone. Why do you harbor this resentment to fundamental Christians? There must be a personal reason.
What gives me away? that was the question. I dress modestly, you can tell by looking at me that I am female, I read the Bible all the way thru, I do not curse, I do not steal, I try in fact to keep all the 10 commandments, and the golden rule. I raise my hands in church and praise God. I give away anything I cannot use, I deliver groceries and food to the local center. I give 10% of my income to the church because it needs electricity and water and books and money to help missionaries. I pray that my life will glorify God. It is totally cool to be Christian, and fun, too.

Answer 3

I consider it an honor...as a "fundie"...that I receive so much attention from the atheists. I hope to have a long and fruitful life here in YA world, brightening your day with my dull intelect. Your criticisms are, as always, quite on the mark and I don't know how I shall ever rise to the intellectual level of even the most dim-witted atheist. I better go to bed now. I've got a whole pile of science books to burn in the morning!

G'night, Y'all!!

Answer 4

Sounds like we caught your roving eye. Can't help but look at the shinier Christians huh?

Thanks for the perspective. I gladly give you my other shiny cheek.

"He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered." -- Proverbs 28:26 KJV

May God give you peace to settle this issue in your heart. Blessings to you always...

Answer 5

Wow. Hope your right in your believes because if you not I feel sad for you. You must know every thing in the world. So tell me how many grains of sand are there in this world by the way?

Answer 6

You sound as if you know everything.
GOD IN JESUS CHRIST LOVE YOU.(I do not put 's' after the verb 'LOVE',because matter of factly GOD the FATHER,GOD the SON,GOD the HOLY SPIRIT is ONE.

Answer 7

Fundie answer:

" well, i ain't goin' to hell "


Need I say more.

Answer 8

ROTFLMAO

The saddest thing is that it's all true. LOL

Answer 9

You ned to send that to letterman for his top ten list that was great thanks

Answer 10

Good one---I think you've nailed it kid!!--:]