Sex Question?

Question

Okay I am 22 years old and I have a new boyfriend that I really really like! I need tips on how to not be so shy in bed. I have a new boyfriend (that I have not had sex with, yet) and I really want to please him, but I have really low self-confidence and I am extremely shy. So most of the time I just lay there.. I am scared of trying new things, I guess. If any one can help please write me back. Thanks.

Answer 1

I understand because i was kind of in the same boat, and my best advice is to take it slow. Don't rush in. I did that and it made me really uncomfortable because he was my first but he had a lot of experience, so i always felt like i had to "measure up" to his exes and blah,blah,blah and it kept me from enjoying it at all. But now that we've been together for over a year, i'm more comfortable with him because i know he loves me and he's not comparing me to anyone, so it helps a little. I'm still not completely open yet,though, but the closer i get to him emotionally,the more comfortable i feel with the physical aspect and least i'm starting to enjoy it. But,really you should just take it slow and concentrate building the emotional aspect of your relationship first. Then once you know he loves you and isn't judging you, your insecurities will start to fall away and you could start to slowly open up. It's all about building trust.

Answer 2

Sweet question!

Why do you say you have low-self confidence? If you are ready to sleep with him and you want to, just try being yourself and perhaps wait until you really do feel comfortable with him.

Even try reading a few books about sex, that will give you some ideas as to what to do in bed and how to please a man.

I think the most important thing is if you feel comfortable and relaxed. Wear something you feel nice in as this will definately help.

Remember it is NATURAL to feel fairly shy when you don't know someone in this way. It does take time to get to know each others bodies and what you like / what he likes.

And as you get older, you will feel more and more at ease with yourself (while a guy's sexual peak is around 18, a woman's is when we reach our late 20's).

Mostly though, if you feel shy, be sure to tell him that - if he's any kind of decent guy, he will appreciate hearing that.. he is most likely a little shy about it also!!

Good luck and enjoy yourself!!
M

Answer 3

If you feel your ready then your going to do want ever you want. You are 22 now. So I suggest that you just relax and let what happens happen. Your the one that can make it great or ho hum. He will go at your paste and the more you let go then the more he can let go with you. First you need to figure out what makes you so shy. Maybe it's because you were raise to think having sex was bad before you were married. Or you just haven't had too many experiences and there for your not sure what to do and when. Guys like anything and the more you show then your in to them the more they will show you. Your probably afraid he'll think your pretty loose if you let go and do what you want in bed. Or he'll think your a bit slutty? Think what you really want to do with him and then just let it happen, if it's dirty talk then do it, once you do it will come easier for you. Your just afraid of what he'll think of you if you let go and your afraid it will be bad. If nothing else then write him a letter and tell him what's going on. He'll come to you and talk to you about it and reassure you it's OK.

Answer 4

I have found from my boyfriends friends (and my bf of 2+ yrs) that guys LIKE it when you are not that experienced, or however you want to say it. It shows that you're not the type of girl who's a pro at this and sleeps around a lot. Also, they think it's cute. Now, don't get me wrong, for a one night stand they DO want to find the girl who is a pro, but for relationship material they don't! So open up and tell him a little and if you're not ready, don't do it! You can have plenty of fun without actually having sex.

Answer 5

Relax... think about how you like it when he touches you and give him the same respect.... chances are if you like it... so will he. There is no need to be scared of anything in the bedroom, just lay down the rules before you start experimenting..... have a safety word, and if you don't like something (or he doesn't) you use the word, and it all stops.

Answer 6

Talk about it! Talking is very important. It will help you become more comfortable with your soon to be partner. Trying new things is good for your confidence and it can also help you find new things that you like. Everything you try will be worth it! You will learn things you like and get familiar with things you don't. Good luck!

Answer 7

You need to realize that the guy sees your body in a totally different way than you do. You have no reason to be self-conscious. No matter what position you think you are unattractive in I promise he will LOVE IT. Try to think of that and loosen up, it will make it better for both of you.

Answer 8

You should just let go and explore eachother and dont let shyness get the best of you! I tell you if you make it more exciting and if you love him you dont have to worry !!! Get into the groove and i bet he will love you just the way you want him too!!!!

Answer 9

It's ok for you to be shy...this is where the man should take the initiative to make you feel comfortable. Of course he will want you to do more...but you dont have to worry about doing the work, he should.

Answer 10

it is very hard to give details here. so if you like I M me an i will give you some tricks that he will love.. and help you out i can under stand you just laying there would not be good.. you need to do things.. ok....