my friend was raped this morning...?

Question

and in her own home. she has no scars and i am trying to connince her to do something about it but she wont because she doesnt want to have anything to do with it. can you please give me ten good reasons why to have her tell the police? note: she is 22 and it was an old friend...

Answer 1

Bring her to a hospital right away, they can often still get evidence that she was raped. As embarrassing as it might be for her, make sure she knows how important it is that she does it (and it sounds like you are doing that, so good for you!) All these people are right about how it could happen to someone else. I have been raped myself - twice in 1 week when I was 19. The first time was by someone I didn't know who followed me home, and there was nothing distinctive about his looks that could have helped the police in finding him, which is why I didn't tell anyone. I had never seen him before and never saw him again afterward. The second time was by someone I knew. I felt very much like your friend feels, and I regret it so much now, because I worry about who else he might have raped after that. But I can't do anything about it now because of the statute of limitations - I should have reported it while the police could still charge him. One thing you can try with your friend is to mention another girl she knows - a sister or another friend maybe - and ask her how she would feel if that guy now went and raped that person. If she thinks about someone she knows getting raped by this guy because she didn't do anything about her rape, she may realize that no matter how hard it is for her, it would be selfish to not do anything. If that doesn't work, ask her "what if this guy rapes me next? Is that ok with you? Because I'm not ok with that! I don't want him to rape me too!" Get "mad" at her, if that's what it takes, because you need to do whatever it takes to make sure she does the right thing.

Answer 2

Some "friend."

To answer your question:

1. If he isn't stopped, he will probably do it again, to her or someone else.
2. If she lets him get away with it, she may carry the feeling of powerlessness that rape generally causes for the rest of her life.
3. She may not have physical wounds, but she almost certainly has "emotional wounds." Taking control of the situation may help her healing process.

As her friend, it might be a good idea for you to contact a rape crisis center. They have experience with this sort of thing, so may be able to help you help her.


(Edit)

One problem may be that she feels that she is somehow "responsible" for what happened to her. Let her know that rape has nothing to do with anything the victim did. Even infants and elderly people are raped, so it's not about being "provocative" or "leading" someone on. It was not her fault that a man forced himself on her. The fault is entirely his.

I knew a woman who had been molested by her father. As an adult, she confronted him. I was there. I heard him tell her she "wanted" it. A five-year-old child "wanted" it!

Her relatives, when they found out, blamed her for walking around in her underwear in front of her father. A five-year-old child!

Please, please, find a way to make her understand that victims often get blamed, yet who would blame someone who'd been shot? No one would tell such a victim that they had "asked" for it. The same is true of rape. The rapist is responsible, not the victim.

All of that having been said, it's important that you stand by her. Don't force anything on her -- she's already had that done to her. Be supportive of her. Find a way to deal with the mood swings she'd likely to go through.

She really needs a friend right now, and it sounds like she's lucky to have you.

Answer 3

She needs to at least go to the hospital and get checked out asap. She could have contracted a STD, gotten pregnant, or worse contracted HIV. If she has any of these happen to her, she has positive grounds for a criminal case and a civil suit. She must report it because Rape is the #1 crime commited in the U.S and the most underreported. She would be standing up for WOMEN of ALL races all over the world. DNA evidence is very advanced now which will make a good case.
She definatly needs counseling in order to get through this. Most women do not ever enjoy sex again, unless they can deal with this trauma appropriatly. She has to understand that this is not her fault, in any way shape or form. So many women believe that they are at fault, and this is just not true.
Be with your friend, comfort her and go with her to the hospital and the police station. Let her know that you will be by her side until this is all over no matter what happens. She must protect herself, he may come back for more. Tell her you love her and everything will be ok, and you support her decisions. If she decides she is not ready to report it, let her know it is ok, you will wait until she is ready to report it.
Pray for her, prayer can do some powerful things. At least convince her to go to the doctor and make sure she has not contracted anything, nor gotten pregnant.
Good luck, and tell her she is not alone.
If you need anymore help, please you or your friend, or anyone who has experienced rape, can email me at [e-mail] the only way to stop rape, is to fight it! God bless you and your friend.

Answer 4

1. it has effected her physically and emotially, and the predator could do it to someone else
2. what the predator did was wrong, he broke the law and shall be punished
3. it was akward, the predator was a friend, not a foe
4. she could become pregnant and the police/ paramedics need to test her for pregnancy and disease
5. she might need protection if the predators attacks her again
6. She might need mental help and if she got help that person would tell the police and so they would find out anyway.
7. she will never be the same person that you once knew because of this.
8. she will forever be afraid, and nver trust again, so the police could help and secure her

sorry that we dont have 10 answers, but this should be enough if she doesnt tell the police herself....soon you need too!

Answer 5

It's probably too late to prove it was him now because if she didn't take a shower or use the bathroom since then, they could get the DNA or whatever but it's probably too late for that but she should tell the police. What if she get's pregnant? What if she gets an STD? There are a lot of risks and this guy should be turned in. Tell her that if she doesn't tell the police he might do this to many other girls and her not telling could be the reason for that.

Answer 6

!.) This guy has probably raped be for. 2) If not stopped he"ll rape again. 3.) She'll become scarred if she doesn't start to heal immediately. 4.) She can protect her sisters from the same fate. 5) What if his next victims looses more than her sexually and dignity, her life. 6.) All predators should be kept from general society. 7) What would she want a female in her family to do if this had happen to one of them? 8.) This person will not stop until he is apprehended. 9.) This in no way , shape , or form was your fault. 10 .) What are you going to do when he comes back for you again??????

Answer 7

I'm so sorry this happened to your friend. My first word of advice is don't try to make her do anything. Someone just forced her to do something she really didn't want to do, so she's got to be in control of what happens to her from here on out.

That said, I want you to call 800-656-HOPE (4673). It's a national rape hotline in the U.S.. If you're from another country, please google your local sexual assault hotline.

After making it clear to your friend that you support her in whatever she wants to do, gently encourage her to go to an emergency room. She may need medical treatment- even if there are no visible wounds, she could have been exposed to STIs and could be at risk of pregnancy.

If she decides to go to the ER, it's better if she hasn't showered since the attack. If she has changed clothes, have her bring what she was wearing in a paper bag. Remind her that even if they collect evidence (which they should as part of an assault examination), she is in control of what they do with it. If she doesn't want to press charges, she doesn't have to. If she wants to be listed as a Jane Doe, she can. She has that right and many others- hopefully the hotline can help you find a local advocate to go with her to the ER to make sure her rights are respected.

Whatever she decides to do, do everything you can to assure your friend that her reactions are normal, and that you will listen and support her however she needs you to. Even if she is not willing to seek help now, she may change her mind later, and she'll know that you're still there for her.

I wish you and your friend all the best. You are not alone in this, and as scary as things seem right now, there is a lot of hope for the future. Women do recover and heal from traumatic experiences like rape- but it takes time and a lot of support from good friends like you.

Answer 8

i had it happen to me when i was younger for yrs n i never did anything with the cops n i wish i did because when i had my daughter i thought that he would go after her n it was a close family friend that is no longer not . . . have her think about what if he does it to someone else n u could have stopped it by telling the cops i didnt n he is still out there n could be doing it to other people n i didnt say a word n i would blame myself if i ever found out that he did do something to someone else it would just kill me i already blame myself everyday n it will never leave me but if i would have told the cops i think i could sleep better at night so dont wait cause it maybe to late for someone to stop him from doing it again dont let he do that to herself if u r a true friend u wont let this go

Answer 9

1-So this man is brought to justice and 2-so that someone else isn't raped by him. 3-It will also help her get closure.4- She won't have to live in fear when he is taken off the streets. I don't know that you'll need 10.

Only problem is that if it happened this morning and she didn't report it and showered, she may not still have DNA evidnece in her to prove it was him. She needs to act quickly. She should also go to a Dr. to make sure she doesn't get pregnant now.


Oh and poster John K, you are a complete douche.

Answer 10

i was attacked earlier this year and right now you need to just be there for her. Don't make her do anything she isn't ready to do. But do tell her the longer she waits the harder it is to get a conviction, and even though it is hard you do feel better once you face your attacker. Even if she doesn't want to go to the police suggest she gets some counseling it will help, but like i said don't push her she will do it when she ready.