girl trouble help?

Question

ok my gf says she wants tooo doo alottttttttttttttttttt and she says she hasnt doen anything b/c shes insucure about her stomach and she says shes nervous and idkk wither shes telling the truth or if she is saying thins so she dont have to do that? really just confused. help. if it helps we have been going out for 9 months and she also said she will change and that she will do things veryy soon and i meann veryyyyy soon but she has sai dhtis at least 30 other times an dnothing happens

im not presuring her into doing things att alll im dont do tht i say do w/e you want and thst it and i sayy she beautiful all the time and i just thing she isnt good enough for me and thts not true at all and i guess answer me on how to get her to relize she is beautiful an dtht she shouldnt be insicure about herself. i asked her why and she sai di want to make my tummy flatter an di sai dwhy its pefect already and she sjust sais i know but i want it flatter for me and you and i was kinda of in shock cuz i dont think she needs to change

its not sex either... yet any ways im tlking 3 rd base to me handjob, *******, and i think a little later on sex

Answer 1

Ok. Here is what I'm hearing:

Your girlfriend said that she's going to do some freaky things, and I can assume these things are sexual in nature. But, she hasn't done anything yet, and she says its because she's insecure about her body.
You really want to do these things, and you think its time, because you've been dating for 9 months, and she keeps saying that she'll do these freaky sex things, but she continues to not do them.

Ok. Well, here are some things to think about: For one reason or another, really it doesn't matter what the reasons are, she's not doing the freaky sex things she said she'd do.

So you have two options. 1) You can continue to keep asking her to do these things, and just keep waiting and seeing if she'll do them or not. 2) You can break up with her and try again with another girl.

From the looks of your writing style, you can't be very old. 13? 15? (If you are older than that, and you continue to write that way, you should look into sitting in on some first grade english classes. You need a remedial course in spelling. Seriously.) So if you and your girlfriend are having sex or thinking about having sex, and you're asking her to do some kinkier stuff, you have to realize that she may not be ready for it yet. If you are as young and inexperienced as I think you are, try to take it slow. I understand that your sex drive is pretty crazy and you want to have some sex NOW, but if you really want to do it with your girlfriend, she's not ready. She's talking big to keep you interested, but she's just not ready for it yet.

Talk it out with her. Ask her if she really is ready, and how long you have to wait. Ask her to be completely honest, and really, don't trust the answer that she gives. Multiply whatever time frame she gives you by,.. like 10, maybe 20. Eventually, she may want to have sex with you, but, from what it looks like, its not right now.

And if this is all too much, too complicated, too... whatever, and you really must have sex now, dump her, and find yourself someone who will do some kinky things with you. I would advise finding an older woman. Her sex drive might match yours if she is older,... 13-15 year old women have a very low sex drive. Women's sex drive peaks at 30, where as a guy's peaks at 18. Try an older woman if you really must have sex now.

After edit: The stomach issue doesn't go away. My boyfriend tells me the same thing, and no matter what you say, her body issues won't go away until she 1) changes her body to how she wants, or 2) accepts her body for how it is.
I'm chubbier than I'd like to be. My boyfriend tells me flat out not to go on a diet because he thinks I'm beautiful. He tells me all the time. It doesn't change the fact that I think I look chubby.
Again, its a waiting game. You can either wait till she agrees to what you want to do (which means she needs to deal with her own issues first) or you can have sex with someone else (which would be you dealing with your own needs).

Answer 2

Maybe she has no idea how to go about changing. Sometimes the people we love needs a very gentle nudge. Also you must remember that we ourselves are our own worst critics. So what that means no matter how much you think she is beautifully shaped she will always dislike her stomach. However if you truly wish to see her feel good and not so self conscious about her stomach why don't you get her to exercise with you. Just help her as much as possible. I think she is fearful about change and that is normal. It is always easier to stick with familiarity rather than something different. So just be there for her and make subtle suggestions. Once she sees or feels the support you are trying to give her you will definitely see a dramatic change. Just let her know you are in her corner and you are not going anywhere.

Good Luck!

Charlie

Answer 3

Hi well maybe she is just shy. Try to set the mood u know candles and stuff and then invite her over and suprise her! Girls like it when a guy sweeps her off her feet try it , it work for my bf! Be creative and romantic about it and see what happens then ok! Best of luck to u sweety

Answer 4

well why does she have to do things in the first place? Dont pressure her into doing things....if she doesnt want to do it....then let it be! Talk to her about it a little more then mabey she wont be as secure! And give her time to think...dont rush her!

Answer 5

I would not want to do it anyways. I am one of those people who are freaks. Yeah. Just give her time. I am sure it will happen one way or another.

Answer 6

if nothing has happened yet you should make the first move because like you said she's an insecure person and that makes it hard. tell her that shes beautiful the way she is.

Answer 7

Take your time young Jedi.

Answer 8

just because you have been w/ the girl for 9mths doesnt mean its ok in what your asking!!!
Wait til she is ready because if you don't , you will push her away!!!

Answer 9

just give her time to realize she is beautiful (hint : u can help with that)

Answer 10

i dont know what she s thinking about