Me and my girlfriend have a good relationship.We are not married because of a few reasons.Yet we live together and act like a married couple.She already has a child and tells me she is not ready for another one.Im 31 years old and i want kids of my own.Im not getting any younger but i respect her and im being patent.It just gets worse when day to day i see other familys and their kids.Then i get snobby questions and comments like " when are you two going to have one " or like today "aww all theses babys and you don't have one....maybe you can adopt one" Whats the best way to deal with going day to day and having to put up with this ?
2007-06-22 17:18:16 · 7 answers · asked by saintlypriest 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, as you have said, you are wanting one of your own and your girlfriend is not wanting one. you need to decide if you are going to stay with her and chance not having one or if you are going to find someone else. It would be sad if you stay with her and she never wants another. You would miss out for life. As far as peoples comments go, just tell them that your relationship is not ready for a child. That will keep them quiet for a while.
2007-06-22 18:38:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, it's not easy! I am 30 and recently had a hysterectomy after frighting female probs for 11 years. I have been married twice and yet, no children. I am constantly the one at family fnctions who has to hear all abotu not being a parent and about what I'm missing out on. It sucks! I'll be hoenst, I wish we had a remote control-like button that when people start commenting and such that we could just zap them and it'd disappear. Of course, this will probably never happen, but it'd be nice. I think more than anythign, we jsut need to remind ourselves that for whatever reason(s) it may be, it's for a reason and we don't have to share the reasonings with anyone. The way I see it, as long as you are happy, that's what truly matters.
2007-06-23 01:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by lilbeamlover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I think the biggest problem is that others don't know what to say to people who don't have children. They don't realize that they are being rude because it is so common. I hate when they ask why don't you have kids, or what are you waiting for. I'm 32 and my husband is 36 and we have been trying for a year, so when those questions are asked it kind of breaks your heart. I think in your situation you have to really ask your self is this the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with and if you cant flat out say yes then you need to move on and find someone who wants the same things that you want
2007-06-23 02:50:19 · answer #3 · answered by girl_syx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I reckon don't worry about what other people think and say, just smile and say hmmmm or something like that - not giving anything away and not a negative response either - sort of like you know the answer and are happy with it, but are not prepared to say what it is. Mostly they are probably well meaning, even though it is nosey. The main thing is your partnership and working out what you are doing and want out of the relationship, and what the honest answers the two of you have to the children question are. Good luck.
2007-06-23 00:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to think about what is more important to you, staying with the woman you love, or having a child of your own. I have a friend who is married to a man that wants kids and she doesn't. They have been married for 10yrs. He thought she would change her mind and she thought he would just be OK not having them. It has come to be a major area of strife for them. They are on the verge of divorce, and this is a big part of it. You say she has a child...Do you accept this child as if it were your own? If so then if you stay with her then you tell people you have a child and blood doesn't matter. If it really does matter to you, and she truly will not change her mind, maybe you need to think about ending this relationship and moving on to one with someone who shares more common wants in life.
2007-06-23 00:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I respect you guys for waiting. People can be so rude. I used to hear that same thing first about getting married then about having babies. You can laugh it off, tell them the truth or shock them into silence with something outrageous.
I had a nagging co worker whom I finally whispered"When I am pregnant, you will be the first to know!" That shut her up.
Once I told someone flat out. "I'm sterile" Let them wonder a few years later when I am pregnant..chances are they don't even remember how insensitive they were.
Have fun with it, relax and build your relationship, that's what counts right now!
2007-06-23 02:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be frustrating when others try to meddle into personal space. You don't have to answer to anyone, its private! All that matters is the relationship works. Stay focused on it, not the world. Best to yous!
2007-06-23 00:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by lostrebelchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋