marriage jokes?

Question

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished.

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Answer 1

Do you know how much I adore you? ;)

Answer 2

I like 9/10

Answer 3

The Mirror

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself. "You know love" she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby" She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself".

He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well...there's nothing wrong with your eyesight..."

Answer 4

cool

Answer 5

The last three were great. ^_^ *STAR!*

Answer 6

dont mock the afflicted!! xx

Answer 7

thats almost

Answer 8

lol

Answer 9

lol, star.

Answer 10

erm......!