Regretting a Mistake. Need advice. Help?

Question

Recently, I had a job offer that was more money (25% + more)and promotion. Because of greed of getting more money than the original offer, I held back. Because of my mistake, the deal fell through and the employer hired someone else. This has been really bothering me. It has been nearly three months now and I can't get past this. I cannot even focus on my current job and my family. I don't know what to do. I feel like I missed out and it's bothering me beyond words. I have never felt like this before. Call it crazy, but I sometimes even get to tears. Help! How can I overcome this? How would you rank this in terms of a regretful life event? Thank you for your help.

Answer 1

You have no choice but to just move on. There is no point in crying over spilt milk, as they say. You played the wrong card and you were trumped - that's it.

There is no going back and you need to accept that. The past is over, done. You need to consider that if you let this one thing control your life, you will lose your current job and possibly your family as well.

How are you going to cope if something really serious happens in your life? Money is not everything and you have hopefully learned a lesson from this, but your health and the health of your family is MUCH more important.

Answer 2

Just remember that you can't change the past and you have to live for the present. You can't do anything about what happened 3 months ago unless you have a nifty time-turner like Hermione...So move on. It's like in Rent, "Forget regret or life is yours to miss" You're missing out on your future because you are so caught up in the past. Use the pain of that mistake to better yourself for the next job in the future. Also remember that money isn't the most important thing in life. Having a wonderful family that loves you and being happy are some of the most important things. Remember that you aren't alone in your hurting and use it for the betterment of yourself and others. Remember that other people don't have any money and would kill to have what you already have. Look at what you do have and how much money you do make so you don't spend your whole life longing for something that you can't have. No day but today!

Answer 3

As you said, "...this has really been bothering me...nearly three months now and I can't get past this....I can't even focus....I don't know what to do...sometimes...even to tears." "How can I overcome this?"

Some people can give you their ideas as input, but why not go get the personalized input from a professional counselor? This is their area of expertise........to help people to get unstuck.....to be able to move on....to assist you in resolving your issues ... so that your symptoms will minimize and your emotions and thoughts will even-out ... so you can move on with your life.

Likely all you need is a few sessions ( maybe 4 to 10 just a guess here)

Allowing your symptoms to continue and spiral out of your control can lead to a deeper and more difficult depression.

Trained, Licensed counselors and psychologists are familiar with our thought patterns and how and where we might get stuck. They can listen and talk with you and coach you as to what is not working for you currently and assist you to move forward toward healing. Get a referral from a friend, your family Dr., or check-out the yellowpages under counselors.

Answer 4

Well there must of been a lesson for you to learn from this. Money is not everything. Be happy you have a secure job and a loving family. there are many people that don't have what you have. Learn from your mistakes. If you ask me the fact that they hired someone else very quickly does not show that they valued expertise much. perhaps you are more fortunate than you think.

Answer 5

in ranking this in terms of regretful life event this would be very low on the totem pole. we all make decisions based on information we have at the time. we all make wrong choices at times in our lives. we need to acknowledge our error and go on with lives. you can't stop your life because of mistakes that were made. if we did no one would be going amy where or doing anything. how to get past it. acknowledge the mistake. then let go of it and enjoy your life with you job and with your family. in the day and age be thankful you have a job and are blessed with a loving family. remember when GOD closes one door HE opens another. maybe down the road there is even a better job for you and maybe this experience will have taught you a lesson in life. thank GOD for all the blessings you have received in your life. when you do this you will see how really blessed you have been. GOD Bless you.

Answer 6

Think of it this way .... this job could have entailed more hours ( away from family ) and harder work.

Just because the pay was ' better ' the Job title may not have been.

You need to refocus your efforts on your current job and who knows, may be up for another promotion sometime in the future. Right now tho, if they see you slack off, you could be putting yourself at risk of losing this job...

Could you talk to a co-worker that you trust, or maybe your boss in that maybe they can help in reassuring you of your efforts.

Best of luck

Answer 7

My mom always use to say "everything happens for a reason" I absolutely hated it when she said that- but ya know, sje was right. Money & promotion aside, how do you know you wouldn't have hated this job? More money is nice, but it isn't everything when you have to spend 8+ hours everyday in a place you hate with people you dislike doing a job you despise. Stop beating yourself up...you have no idea what life has in store for you. Maybe it was fate...maybe there is a better job with a bigger pay increase in your future.

Answer 8

never regret anything you do. accept that you have made a poor choice and learn from it.