I am sad make me laugh by telling me you all time favorite joke?

Question

Here is the deal the one that makes me laugh harder gets 5stars

Answer 1

There was a family-a mom, a dad, a little girl, and the grandparents. One day at bedtime the dad goes into his daughter's room to check on her and he overhears her praying to god: "...bye-bye grandpa."

The next day grandpa drops dead. That night, he overhears her saying her prayers again: "....bye bye grandma." T

he next day, grandma drops dead. That night he once again overhears her praying: "....bye bye daddy."

So the dad gets really scared so the next day he goes to the doctor's for a full check up. It turned out that he was fine-when he came home his wife was on the porch yelling, "Honey!!! Come quick! The mailman dropped dead on our porch!"

Answer 2

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?


A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

cracks me up everytime, but evertime I hear it I get the feeling of dajavue!!

Answer 3

he he he. Heres a joke i posted earlyer:

So a guy goes to the doctor to get some tests done, and the verry next day the guy gets a call from the doctor.

The doctor says "Well, i have somen bad news and some worst news"

So the guy replies "Ok doctor, tell me the bad news."

and the doctor says "Well, you're going to die in one day."

The guy was is shock, but was confused about what could be worst so he asks "Ok so then whats the bad news?"

and the doctor replies "I forgot to call you yesterday."


Lmao. I love that one.

Answer 4

Some armless guy in a long coat walks into this bathroom, and stands in front of one of the urinals.

The poor guy besides him sees that he needs help, and the armless guy asks if he can point his wee wee in the right direction.

So, the guy decides to help the him, but decides he doesn't want to look at it while he's holding it. But, after a few seconds, he decides he has a right to look at it since he's the one holding it.

Well, he looks down at it, and sees that it looks hideous. He yells and jumps back asking, "What the hell is wrong with it?"
The "armless" guy pull his arms outta his coat and says,"I have no idea, but I ain't touching it."

Answer 5

ok here is 1

Football FINALLY makes sense......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right
behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles,but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game,all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

Answer 6

Here's one a teacher told me about a year ago, and my Nana did too, I believe.

Did you hear the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died?

They had a real hard time getting him inside his coffin though.

Why, you ask?

Well, they put his left foot in, and then they put his left foot out!

Answer 7

I told this one on here before, so please excuse me if you've heard it before. ..........A little boy is at the zoo with his father & they are looking at the elephants. The boy asks his father, "What's the thing hanging down there?" The father said, "Son, that's the elephant's trunk." He said, "No, Dad, in the back. What's the thing hanging down there?" He said, Son, That's the elephant's tail." The son said, "Come on, Dad! What's the thing hanging down there?" The father said, "OK son, that's the elephant's PeNis." The son asked, "How come when I was here last week with Mommy, she said it was nothing?" He replied, "Son, your mother's spoiled!"

Answer 8

I was so poor when I was little that if I hadn't been born a boy I'd of had nothin' to play with.