Sister is driving me nuts with her wedding plans...am I being too harsh?

Question

My darling sister who I love very much is getting married next spring. She lives out of state and is planning to have a small family wedding in my state. I should also mention this is her first wedding and she is 40.

Now, she has been spending hours on the net and on the phone to me making plans. She asks my opinion then disagrees. She calls to talk about possibilities endlessly, even while I'm at work. She wants to rent this place, then that place...She has asked me to check out some places, but gets grouchy when I offer an opinion, then she asks me for another one.

Now, I do love her...but as excited as she is (and she has a great fiance) would I be too uncharitable to tell her to slow down ...she'll be foaming at the mouth by wedding day- at this rate.

Am I being unkind?

Answer 1

Telling your sister to 'slow down' would be the best news she could get from you. She is like most brides - in a panic about everything. Bear with her - she probably does not even realize that she is doing this. Send her little notes of encouragement and help her to realize that she is in a panic. Let her know you are there to help. I think sometimes they just want to hear what you have to say. I know I was like that. I really did want my sister's opinions, but it was a half-thought. Most of the time, I think we just need to know our loved ones are near and dear and are there for us. When it's all over, you can tell her then how frantic and crazy she was. You two will laugh about all the details, large and small for years to come. Congrats to you, your sister and all of your family.

Answer 2

You're not being unkind. She's understandably excited, but she's also going to cause you problems if she keeps calling you at work.

Talk to her about setting up specific times when you can help her with her plans. Make sure she understands that you can't continue to take personal calls at work. Then see if once in a while you can talk her into a little 'sister time' where you talk about and do other things. As you rightly say, she's going to drive herself nuts if she doesn't take a little time away from the planning, too.

She's going to continue to be really excited about this, and the best thing you can do is be as supportive as possible while reminding her that there is life after the wedding, too.

Answer 3

Keep in mind that she has waited a long time for this day. There is probably a lot of excitement that has been held up for the past years that is suddenly let loose.

Why not pick one day a week that you can spend some time helping her with wedding plans. That way you won't be bothered at work. Pick a time and tell her that for the next hour (or two or three) you will go over plans with her. This should help with the constant calling. Tell her that if it is an emergency, to email you and you will get back to her when you can.

Good luck!

Answer 4

If she is calling you at work with the wedding plans then you aren't bieng unkind because you can get fired if you have a ton of personal calls.

Just gently explain to her that she can't call you at work anymore because you boss disapproves but you are happy to help when you have free time. As I bride all I can say is that it sounds like she really doesn't want you opinion, just someone to help her with the work load and confirm she's doing a great job no matter what.

Answer 5

Wow,she finally metthat some one and she is overly excited. Just gently aand firmly explain to her say look i under tand your excitiment. weddings are a big deal. But can we tone it dowon a bit your not getting married till next year and you don't wont to burn your self out with all the details now. There is still time to work it all out. Take your time you don't want to worry and rush things. Just take one step at a time. You don't want to be all burnedout when it comes to your wedding day.

Answer 6

You need to explain to her that as much as you want to be involved in this joyous time, you have to limit it to certain days and times of the week. This way, you are not being rude and you are protecting your livelihood and sanity. She needs a sounding board more than an opinion, it sounds like anyway. In the end, she is going to choose what she wants anyway. And if she has too much energy, send her on a hunt for things in her area. Something like, "you know those flowers you wanted? they might be cheaper in your area if they are bought in bulk." then let her look for a bit.

Answer 7

First off, tell her not to phone you at work. Then just let her know that a once a week phonecall is enough to keep you apprised of how the wedding plans are going.

Answer 8

Understandably your sister is excited. Share in her excitement, because one day it will be your turn and you will certainly want her to be excited for you. Plus, it will give you both some good laughs later on as you look back at how crazy she became.

Answer 9

No, your being realistic, and your right, she will be foaming at the mouth. I would tell her to slow down, she'll probably get mad. Tell her to just elope and get it over with already. Or you could just become unavailable, say you have a new boy friend or that your going to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks.........anything to shut her up for a while. Tell her that that's all she ever talks about, that you need to be able to have an ordinary discussion with a normal human being

Answer 10

she is just too excited. its understandable. if i have a sis and she asks for my help/opinion, its her big day of her life, so why not, i'd do whatever she tells me.