I recently found out that the man I have been seeing for the past several months is married. I received an anonymous text message notifying me of this fact and when I confronted him about it he confessed. I immediately ended the relationship and told him that I would be coming to get some belongings that were left at his apartment during the week and that I wanted back the money I had lent him. Ever since this conversation I have been unable to reach him. He is never at home and is ignoring my phone calls. My friend who is a police officer said it would be unlikely that the police would get involved as this would be considered a civil matter and not criminal and the amount owed to me really isn’t worth the hassle of a lawsuit. He is in the military and someone suggested to me that I contact his first sergeant about this matter as he or she would probably be able to “prompt” him to do the right thing. I’m not looking to get him into major trouble, contact his wife or anything like that….I simply want what is rightfully mine. Would contacting his higher ups do the trick or is this a waste of time?
2007-06-22 11:21:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I don't want to get him into a lot of trouble I just want my things back. I've tried every avenue of communication known to man and he is just ignoring me which is really my only reason for resorting to such drastic measures. His wife is currently not living with him. From what he told me, she is currently finishing school and they agreed that she would stay put until she finished and then join him later. She is several states away so he was very easily able to live the life of a bachelor.
2007-06-22 11:45:45 · update #1
this would definately do the trick!
Maybe you can call him one more time and leave a message. In the message, nicely ask for your stuff and tell him that you would hate to contact "so-and-so" (his boss) and tell him the bosses name. This way, he knows you have looked into it and you mean business. Give him a deadline to return your call and make arrangements to get your things. This way, it is entirely HIS own fault if he makes a decision to continue to ignore you - You would have no other choice
than to call the boss to get what's rightfully yours. Good luck and be happy you are this lying cheater's wife!
2007-06-22 11:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by selery222 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he had any other job would you contact his boss? The mature answer should be no. Just b/c he's military doesn't mean you go straight to his chain of command. You should also take into consideration that his chain may not even take you or the situation seriously. They have much more important things to deal with that a soldier's jilted lover. I'm not sure if you were aware of this or not but we are at war in 2 different theaters right now. Be an adult and just right this off as a lesson learned.
2007-06-23 19:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to start a whole lot of trouble then contact his First Sergeant. If you want to keep it discreet then I would suggest that you contact him directly and ask for your belongings back. If he refuses to coopoerate then let him know that you will be getting a hold of his First Sergeant or even his Commander. He could lose stripes, money, and sometimes the military can make him tell his wife. I can assure you that he will definitely want to go the easy way. Either way good luck.
2007-06-22 11:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Stephen N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom has some good advise for you.
If you don't want to get him in trouble, talking to his chain of command is an issue.
Don't know the whole story, but you could also leave him a note in his mailbox to the same extent as the message Mom suggests.
Good Luck. Personally, I've never trusted anonymous text messages but if he confessed that's a different story. Hope you listened to the full story.
2007-06-22 11:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by John T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it'd depend on how much stuff and what stuff was left and if you'd expect the money back if you were to stay together.
His wife must not be living with him if your things are at his appartment. Maybe he's going through a divorce and just didn't know how to bring it up to you.
Contacting his 1st sgt. is an option for you.
I wish you luck and the least heartache.
2007-06-22 11:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by Just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contacting his command probably will do it. As a matter of fact, you can probably just tell him "either give me my stuff or I will report you for conduct unbecoming." Believe it or not, a married man who cheats can get in lots of trouble in the military. I know lots of them do, but it is on the quiet. If it is made know to the command in a way they can't ignore it, he is screwed. My hubby just retired after 20 in the Navy and we saw it happen to a few guys. Plus, to tell the truth if he is married and cheating, he deserves to have his wife find out. Tell her the no good louse owes you. You might not get your money, but he will learn a lesson.
2007-06-22 11:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by mrslititia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone finds out about the affiar he had with you (even though you didn't know he was married), he will get into major trouble. He should have known this, so any trouble he does and probably will get in is not on you-it's on him.
Now that's it's over-ignore him and worry about yourself.
Contact his First Sergeant and notify him/her about the situation. I'm sure that'll knock him back on his feet.
2007-06-22 11:49:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He made the bed that he is now to sleep in - adultry is a big deal in the military and if you want your stuff back without hassle - the first sergent is probably your best bet - have you tried to go to his house when you know his wife is home? - it could end up ugly - but she might want to get rid of your stuff as well - or is not living with his wife due to his job currently?
2007-06-22 11:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a certified letter -meaning his has to sign when it is delivered. Inform him you want your stuff and your money (and to be reimbursed for the certfied letter). Give him a set time period to make the arrangements. If he fails to do this inform him you will take the issue up with his chain of command.
This way are are giving him a warning and have proof he got the message.
2007-06-22 16:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by a_non_ah_mus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would contact his command and see about getting your property back or you could just mention on his voice mail that you will go to his command unless he gives you your items back. The solider could have a lot to lose if his command gets involved and mentioning going to the command could sober him up to the point where he is willing to deal with you. You may have to ultimately go to the command though in order to get the items and money back.
2007-06-22 11:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋