I just found out that a dear friend's husband just died. Now, I didn't like the man at all - he was a lousy drunken bum who leeched off her for 30 years, and when I was 14 he tried to touch me in a very inappropriate way, which I never told his wife about. That was 21 years ago, and I don't see the point of bringing it up to her now, since nothing happened, but that's not the point of this question. I don't really want to go to his funeral because of my severe dislike of the man, but feel I have to for her sake. I'm just not sure what to do here. I certainly can't honor his life, but I don't feel like I can desert Val right now, either, when she needs her friends. I'm torn. Can anyone help me, please?
I know this isn't really religious or spiritual in nature, but all my friends are here, so please don't report me. I genuinely need some help on this one.
2007-06-22 11:17:01 · 18 answers · asked by ReeRee 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
this may not be a religious question, but it definitely is a spiritual one.
the anger you have against this man is affecting your spiritual well being.
going to the funeral is a good thing, not only for the support of your friend, but it will give you a chance to say good bye to him, and you will never have to think about him again.
it is a good time to put your feelings about him behind you, and move on.
to take a few words from an old country song,"thank God hes gone", I left out the greyhound part.
2007-06-22 13:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to go for his sake.
But it would be a greater kindness and show of love for your friend to go for her sake.
And just act as if nothing ever happened. You don't have to say he was a great guy... chances are she knows what a "lousy drunken bum" he was.
Go and support her. Goodness, she may be relieved. Help her not feel guilty about that either.
2007-06-22 11:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now, you just go to that funeral for your friend's sake. Never mind, your feelings about the husband. Your friend, Val, needs to know you are there for here. Nothing else matters
2007-06-22 11:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give Him Life Time Imprisonment And Whatever Money He Earn In the Jail Should B Given To The Parents Of His Friend Whom He Killed According To Me This Is The Best One
2016-05-17 22:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu should attend the funeral for your friend, she needs your console and her husband learn to fogive he is gone now hopefully he made Peace with the Lord but the love you have for your friend shou;d come before you and it is a gift you can give her totally un-selfishly.
Best Wishes.
2007-06-22 11:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go; you can still be supportive without attending the funeral. Send her flowers out of respect for what she's going through and visit her one-on-one and tell her that you care about her. If she questions why you aren't attending the funeral say that, as an Atheist, you aren't comfortable with them.
2007-06-22 11:21:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can go to the funeral in support of your friend without feeling obligated to like her spouse. You are there for her and she would appreciate it. By showing up it doesn't mean you endorse him any, it just means you respect your friend enough to put that aside and be there for her.
2007-06-22 11:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by genaddt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you feel. That is a tough position but you have to go for her. Just think of her while you are there an not of him at all. She needs your support. God will give you the right words to say.
2007-06-22 11:21:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Go. The man is dead and gone. Your friend needs you now. She doesn't need to know you're not celebrating his life, as you already do. It's one day out of your life, and it'll make a big difference in hers. Deep breaths!
2007-06-22 11:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
The funeral is for the survivors, not the dead person. Seriously, your friend needs you, and he won't be there. You'll be showing love for her...=0)
2007-06-22 11:20:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋