He and i met online, and Ive never met someone who actually WANTS to be with me, to loive me, to get married and have a family, and is willing to give me the world. Is it wrong? I mean its ok for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher right? Or how about Kathrine Zeta Jones and her husband? PLEASE someone help me out here!
2007-06-22 11:06:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Age is just a number. It doesn't matter at all. But don't be with him just because he's the only one who's ever showed you attention. That's a bad reason.
2007-06-22 11:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're talking about getting with someone that you met online? How do you know this person? Be cautious. Why would a 38 year old man want to marry someone from an online chat? Call me paranoid but there are men out there who will target a woman, marry her and start a family----and victimize the children. You'd be shocked at the lengths a pedophile would go to to get a hold of children even down to finding a woman to give him free access to them. Age has nothing to do with being with someone as long as they are consensual adults and a 21 year old certainly has a say so about who they date or have relations with. Remember if it's too good to be true it's usually a lie. Watch yourself. Take the time to know who this man is and make sure he's not some monster preying on your obvious needs to get what he wants which is children to victimize. I'd do a background check and look at a sexual predator registry.
2007-06-22 18:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are basing your thought process on movie stars lives....hmmmm...there is a signal of immaturity right there...considering you are 21, don't you want to experience LIFE first? There is a REASON you haven't had anyone who wants to settle down & have a family, guys your age aren't ready for it - and neither are you.
Not to mention, he's from the internet - have you actually even met the guy yet? You have no idea if what he says is true...the movie stars you are talking about at least met the normal way, and were friends before things became romantic. It's reallyeasy to be anyone and sayanything when you are on a computer...
What about traveling? What about going out to clubs and enjoying being able to be 21? He's lived through all of that, you have far too many things to experience.
I personally think your choice will end up making you miserable in the long run...
2007-06-22 18:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you met him in person?
Let me tell you that when I was 37-38 and divorced, I was dating and liking women from 42 to 32, mostly the former and found them a lot more interesting than those I had dated 15 years earlier. A lot of older guys want to marry or at least date the young chick they couldn't get a date with when they were 21.
And you are comparing to the wrong way. What is amazing about Demi & Aston is that SHE is older and HE is younger. It has always been true that guys show up with young trophy wives: look for images of Hugh Heffner the Playboy guy.
2007-06-22 18:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong! You are both of legal age so I see no problem with it. If you have things in common and care for each other age doesn't matter. Ignore anyone who says otherwise. It may not be right for them but only you can choose what is right for you.
On another note, have you actually met this guy in person yet? If not, PLEASE be safe... use common sense and trust your instincts. There's a lot of freaks out there and they are con-artists who will make you believe they are one thing and they aren't. Hopefully you already know this and I'm wasting my time. And don't misunderstand, I'm not saying this just because he's older, this goes for all online relationships... Just be careful.
I think dating older guys is fine, but from personal experience I can tell you no matter how mature you think you are, he's probably seen it done it and been there. Just don't let him use you, emotionally, financially, physically or in any other way.
2007-06-22 18:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by misanthropic_cynic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it wrong, as others have answered, age isnt an issue in a healthy relationship, I was married to a woman 14 yrs my senior for 10 years (I was 25 when we met), I never thought about the age as being an issue, you definately should give this a chance and maybe find a solid relationship with this man.
2007-06-22 18:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by steel dude (Australia) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be in a relationship out of desperation. You need to make a good judgment on this man's character first. Don't think too lowly of yourself & think that this is the only man in the world that can love you. Also, don't look to the Holly stars as your role models in life. Both Demi Moore & Michael Douglas were divorced. Michael Douglas even cheated on his first wife.
That being said, it is not wrong to date someone older. But, before that you need to ask yourself:
1) do you have problem with your self image? are you entering this relationship with the wrong motivation (to make you feel better about yourself)? you need to be a happy person yourself first.
2) do you know enough about this man to tell you he has a good character? (working, responsible, have good people as friends) do you know about his past relationships? do you have friends (or relatives) who are older and married who can serve as your counsel?
3) does this man really love you or he wants something else? since you met online & you haven't dated, it seems to me it's too soon for this man to say he loves you & wants to marry you. He may be living in a fantasy of his own.
2007-06-22 18:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Pete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question arising in your mind should be a tip to you that it is wrong. It is very rare that two people that far apart in age (an entire generation) can have enough socially in common to have a long lasting meaningful relationship. You might be able to have a wonderful sex life for a period of time, and you may even beat the odds by having a lot in common socially and sexually, but it is rare. Good luck to you!
2007-06-22 18:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by wlegend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating someone older is not always the best thing even if they want to get married. don't be with someone just because they are ready or want to get married and have a family. you can do that with anyone whether they are 20 or 40. love the person first. find out who they are. if they are even the type of person you would want to marry. even if he's older doesn't' mean he is stable or ready to get married. age doesn't always mean maturity or that they are ready for a family. there are some men in their 30's or 40's that should never have kids or a family because they have no clue how to be a man. find out if you are both compatible. that's a huge thing. if there's chemistry. and if you want the same things in life. hopefully you figure things out and he doesn't act like your dad. watch out for that!!!
2007-06-22 18:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot compare you love life with anyone else b/c your living in it not them. You have met him online, how long have you guys been going out? 21yrs old is very young age. There are million of fishes in the sea. My questions is if you only saw 10 fishes and choose 1, that too soon to make a choice. At least go fishing for years so you see how many nice fishes are out there.
2007-06-22 18:13:54 · answer #10 · answered by Whiskey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have y'all met in real life yet? Personally, I would never date someone that much older than me, just because of the simple fact that imagine 25 years from now, if you have kids...Mommy's 46, and Daddy's 63...a senior citizen. LOL. If you're comfortable with the age gap though...it shouldn't matter. However, I know for a fact that I would have more in common with someone closer to my age.
Best of luck though. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-06-22 18:13:51 · answer #11 · answered by rainbowbarbietea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋