She said I'm just like my mother . . ?

Question

I spent the day at my grandma's house today ( my mother's mom ) and she told me I'm just like my mother . . My mom and I don't talk very much . . I don't really know her . She kicked me out of the house when I was 15 turning 16 . . I was a good kid , had good grades , I was respectuful , I helped around the house , I babysat my little sisters and brother , but she always said she hated me . I'm a little worried now that my grandma said that . . because I'm pregnant , and I don't want to be like her! I really don't want to be a bad mom . . . I think I'm over reacting . . but I've been crying ever since I got home !! ( I'm thinking I'm just emotional from the pregnancy though ) but do you think it's something that would get passed on to me ??

Answer 1

awwww chante <3 // i think that she means the way you look/the way you talk/or good things about you! if you want to be a good mom, then you will for sure =] // you`ve helped me out w/ some questions, you give really good advice, i think that you will make a really good mom. you seem like such a sweet person, and i`m sorry that happened to you..i had an experience like that too, but she sent me to live w/ my brother. he knows her pretty well, & he tells me that i`m a lot like her...but i know that when i have kids, i won`t kick them out, or send them away, & i know that i`ll love them unconditionaly ! that`s how i think you will be to this baby. everyone has good traits, and your grandma was reffering to the good stuff about your mom i promise! you will be an amazing mommy!! NO MORE TEARS =] / stress isn`t good for the baby//best wishesss xoxox jessica

Answer 2

I have a mom who is kind of like that too and people also tell me I'm like her and it also worries me so I know how you feel. But no, I don't think that you will be the same way. It may have been passed on to you but in the end you control your behavior and if it was passed on to you, you can change it for the better. And your grandmother probably saw the good things that your mother had in you anyways. For me, I know I won't turn out bad like my mom because I have seen the bad side of her and it has given me the motivation to not be the same with my future children, so there is no need to worry. You sound like a great person and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mom! I hope this helps =)

Answer 3

It is highly unlikely that you are not like your mom in some ways. From birth till adulthood children have a pattern set for them by their parents. Every move, every word a parent makes or says, good or bad, teaches a child how to behave. Since you are going to have that responsibility soon, you need to ensure you don't make the same errors your mom made. Start taking all the courses you can in childcare and parenting skills. Start a daily journal and write down all the positive things you can think of each day. IF you can't right something positive, leave the page blank with a date. If you discover you have a few blank pages, you need to get counseling so that you don't wind up subjecting your baby to a sad childhood.
Behaviours are not genetically predisposed. They are learned actions. You may have a tendency to behave like your mom, but fore-warned is fore-armed, and you are already willing to make changes. Always be willing to seek help from others. Good Luck !

Answer 4

Your grandma probably said that because that's what happened to your mom. If your so emotional about it , it's probably because you are pregnant and your hormones are out of control. You and only YOU can decide what kind of mom you will be. You know what they say: you either raise them the way you were raised, or you do the opposite. I will tell you right now it is a very hard job, especially for a teenager, so be ready and believe in yourself. When you see that little angel's face you will forget all about everything else, and concentrate on him or her. Just do your best, it is hard and nobody is perfect.
I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Awww. More than likely that would eat away at me too but its all more emotional for you cuz you are pregnant. If you helped out your mom when you were younger like you said- that is wonderful. It shows responsibility. I think that you will be a great mommy! Dont stress. Its not good for the baby. Just take it one day at a time to make sure that you dont do the things that your mom did. So you wont be like her. Just be a good person for yourself and for your baby and set your mind to being great and becoming greater everyday and you will succeed. Some things are hereditary and maybe she meant it like that. Ask your grandma how you and your mom are alike. You could be stressing for nothing

Answer 6

Parents usually see the good traits in their children, and I am sure your grandmother loves your mother very much and she meant it as a compliment. Maybe your emotions are because, you miss your mom and feel maybe you might need her going through your pregnancy. As horrible as she was to you, she still is your mom, and you might be having a hard time coping with that.
You are your own person and you will chose to be the mother you want to be. you are safe from preprogrammed parenting:) Seriously, all the things you loved getting from your parents and all the things you were lacking, provide your baby with that and all should be well.

Best of Luck!

Answer 7

NOOOO!

Perhaps you look like your mother or have the same voice or some mannerisms like you mother, but I can't imagine you, after undergoing such a callous thing yourself, would ever kick out your teenaged child. You learned from the mother who didn't do a good job what NOT to do, just as my husband, a wonderful dad, learned the same from his. (His dad was emotionally distant and would get violent with him.)

We are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents. You will do a gerat job.

I was often pretty weepy during pregnancy and even while nursing. Hormones are crazy things.

Good luck, and CONGRATULATIONS on the baby!

Answer 8

Looks wise, and in some actions or the way you do or say things probably remind her of your mom, not the way she was personally, but the way physically, and body language, which we do pick up from our parents. Mentally and emotionally you are yourself, my kids have some of the same mannerisms as I but are at the same time themselves.

Answer 9

your grandma must only know the good side of your mom and think your like her bcuz u r a good person too and she might just be getting old

Answer 10

YOU could never be your mother even if you wanted to.There is only ONE of each person on this earth. Even twins are different.Your grandmother may not know your mother"s abusive side. Your grandmother may be talking about your mother"s lovely side. My mother is just as difficult, and so is my aunt and mother-in-law. I just forgot them and let them GO!