I live in Dallas with my husband and 2 children. I have no blood relatives here but all of my in-laws live in the area. My husband works 2 jobs in order for me to be a stay-at-home mother. His family doesn't like that idea but I babysit their baby for free. Recently, they've moved out of their home in order to save money and are going to rent the home to us. My mom says they have the perfect situation....free babysitting and a house sitter (cause we're paying the mortgage). I have no relationship with them outside of being a babysitter. Am I being taken advantage of or is this just what family should do for one another?
2007-06-22 10:30:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They moved to my husband's parents house. There will be no rent for them except helping out here and there.
2007-06-22 11:00:38 · update #1
Jordan......I'm not selfish (as you've implied). I'm a Christian but that doesn't make me a slave to others, either.
2007-06-22 12:49:42 · update #2
Well, I do think you should pay rent and other utilities when moving into their home. It would be unfair for you and your family to live there at their expense. However, be careful and get a lease because if not they can decide to not have you there any longer or move back in. It may be best if you and your husband rented elsewhere.
As far as babysitting goes....it wouldn't hurt if they gave you some cash for it (maybe not the amount they would if the child was in daycare). However, if you agreed to babysit for free then I can't see where you would have the right to complain.
What you and your husband decide about him working two jobs while you're a stay at home mom is no one else's business but your own. If it's what you and your husband want and feel is best for the family. If they ridicule you then politely tell them just that.
2007-06-22 12:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being taken advantage of. If you are living in their home, you should be paying a fair price. You didn't say where they moved so that's a different issue. You also didn't say how often you babysit their baby or even who this "family" is. His brother, mother, etc. Having said that -- it is strictly between you and your husband what you do. If it's important to you to stay home and he supports that idea, then it's none of their business. If you babysit their child every day while that person works, then you should stop immediately. You are completely being taken advantage of. Babysitting is expensive and hard work if done right. You should be compensated for that, no matter if it is a family member of not. Maybe a family member gets a "family" discount but you should get something for your efforts because it taking you away from your family which was the entire point of you staying at home.
2007-06-22 10:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by aggiegrad84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? These people cannot take care of their financilal responsibilities by paying their mortgage so they would rather spend money on renting, having you pay (and preserve their credit) at the same time? So many things can go wrong.
Number one is that someone else owns the house. So if they decide you have to go or the bank does you have no rights. Even if you have documents and a lease and such you and your husband could be out a whole lot of time and money.
You babysit for free and daycare costs a huge amount of money as you probably know. You have no relationship w. these people? Your mother is correct..... they are all taking advantage of the situation. In the end you and your husband will be out.
2007-06-22 10:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I have learned is never do business with family and renting a house from family is business. I would not say they are taking advantage of you, but they are profiting off of you by having you pay their mortgage. Personally I like to keep my family family and not have any mix ups in between.
2007-06-22 10:40:36 · answer #4 · answered by Your managers favorite manager! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you sitting for free? Run, run like your hair is on fire from this user family. Your husband is sacrificing his life for you to raise your kids right and you are giving away your time for free? Families don't take advantage of other family members, listen to your mother. Don't move into their house, let them rent it to someone else. It isn't their business what you and your husband decide is best for your family, so whether or not you work is up to you, period.
2007-06-22 10:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they babysit your kids for free? Do they babysit at all? I wouldn't do it for free. Especially when you have two of your own. I have two girls and they are alot of work. Ones 4 1/2 and the other is 8 months. I wouldnt rent that house either. Find a place that is rent to own. I was taken advantage of by my brother with the whole babysitting his son. I was fine with it at first, but then he just expected it. My problem was i was just too nice. Listen to your mother LOL. I agree with her. Say no!!!
2007-06-22 10:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but things aren't going to change. It seems they lack respect for you. If they did you wouldn't even wonder over this. This may not be what you want to hear but I think you need to go back to work, if only part-time, so they're forced to get another sitter. It's a hard choice because I know how important it is to be at home with the kids. But if you want to change how things are than maybe you should think it over GL
2007-06-22 10:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by dlh1402 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you have asked a question which says "I Don't Trust My In Laws" OK, I didn't want to have to tell you this now. But when you marry a person, you marry his family. Sorry you didn't know this until now. The best thing you can do is to try to be of service to your husband's kin and embrace them as he would (because you love your husband) Once you are concentrating on being of service to his family, this feeling you have will go away. Even more, once you have yourself ENTIRELY out of the way, God will show you the way.
(Cool, Huh???)
2007-06-22 10:39:30 · answer #8 · answered by jordan_smith@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would discuss it with your husband.Saying that though and thinking at the same time family cannot live with family and get along.It can cause many problems.If you decide you want to do it,then I would definitely ask for money.I would really think on that..if you are happy the way you are then stay that way.If you are babysitting for nothing and they have a fancy house..tell them to give money.Or babsit for someone that does pay you.
2007-06-22 10:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family will take advantage in a heartbeat, but u have to draw a line and let them know what u will and will not tolerate.
2007-06-22 10:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by NICI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋