Has your teenager ever asked you to drink or for you to buy them alcohol?

Question

My teenage step-daughter asked me. I said no of course. She is only 16. She said her friends parents do it all the time for their kids, I thought this was crazy!! So I was wondering, Have you ever bought your child who was under 21 and how old were they?

Answer 1

my ma buys me alcohol sometimes and im 18. but she also knows that i am EXTREMELY responsible and if someone has even had one drink i will take their keys and put them away until morning, unless they have a DD.


so if you know shes very responsible..and you know they are going to be staying in one spot..and you know its not going to be a huge party..just a few friends having a kick back..then sometimes its ok. but not every week. AND i would wait until she is 18. for somereason 16 y/o's think they can drive in any circumstance..and most show off that they can drive while under the influence. not saying they ALL do..but i am saying most.

Answer 2

In many countires such as Italy, even young children drink, for instance in small amounts at mealtime. Making alcohol completely forbidden only encourages unhealthy attidudes towards it.

To buy large quantities of beer or hard liquor in order to facilitate binge drinking is a big no-no. For a little bit of alcohol with a meal or to make one a little more relaxed for a party does not seem horrendous to me.

As for those under 21, an 18+ year old can fight and die for her country, assume debt, and do anything else an adult can do. When young soldiers come back from Iraq they can get in trouble for drinking alchohol. What a crying shame.

If my kid were responsible and it was just for her and the amount encouraged responsible drinking, I would see no reason to deny her. However, if it's for other people, I would be careful. I just heard that some couple went to jail for serving alcohol to a party for 16 year olds!

I think the bottom line is to encourage responsible drinking, make sure they never get near a car, and make rewards commensurate with the level of responsibility that the person takes on.

Answer 3

My aunt would buy her kids alcohol, as long as they stayed in their own home and had some friends over. This wasn't done until they were in highschool, though.

The point is, teenagers these days are going to do it reguardless. I'm not sure if I would do the same thing for my child, I don't have a teenager yet. but I can tell you if I had to, I would rather them be safe in my own home than sneaking off to do it and then end up making the wrong decisions. I graduated with someone who snuck off graduation night to get drunk and got killed in a car accident on the way home.

There's so many pressures these days with teenagers drinking, that it doesn't matter if you buy it and allow them to do it or not.

Answer 4

I think all kids want to try something new. It is part of growing and learning. I think you could let her "taste" alcohol without allowing her to consume a huge quantity. I would absolutely not buy alcohol for her. #1 that is against the law and the law is pretty strict when it comes to buying alcohol for under-age people. #2 if you do allow her to try it, make sure it is within your home and that it isn't some teenage party. Do NOT give it to anyone else's children. Some parents would not take kindly to you offering alcohol to their kids. I will say that if you make drinking a big deal, it will be a big deal. A few sips might not be so terrible (remember some parents rub whiskey on the gums of teething infants).

Answer 5

My daughter and step daughter are about a year apart.

When my daughter, who is older, began talking about her friends drinking I asked her if she wanted to try it. She wanted wine coolers. So I bought wine coolers for her. She did not guzzle them, and the step daughter, with permission from her father would have one now and again also.

The rule was no sharing with friends and no drinking outside the house.

They were both amazingly self-restrained and responsible with this privilige.

Either you be smarter than her and her friends, or she will find a way around you. (Remember?)

So, have conversation with Dad. Have him have conversation with her. Then make a decision.

Teach your child to drink responsibly. And always make sure she knows to Never get in a car with a drunk driver. Offer complete amnesty if she gets in a situation and has to call you. The alternative can be fatal.

Answer 6

My dad actually wondered about how "normal" I was, because I was 20 and didn't want him to buy me alcohol. I'm now mid-to-upper 20-something (not telling) and still don't drink.

I have had my 14-year-old sister-in-law try to get me to buy her wine coolers. She said that her mom does it all the time, and would do it if her mom were home (she wasn't, I was). She also said her boyfriend's dad would give her some, and she stopped talking when I started writing down the boyfriend's name, the dad's name, the date it happened, etc... The cops are going to ask that when I tell them I know someone giving alcohol to minors.

I know it happens, but I dont' have to be okay with it happening and just LET it happen.

Answer 7

Here in Canada the legal drinking age is 18. I'm 25 and my parents have never purchases alcohol for me or my younger brother. If we want to drink, we have to buy it ourselves. But when we were younger (still in our teens) they would let us have the occasional small glass of wine with dinner or have a taste of whatever they were drinking. This was only for us though. They would never give any of our friends alcohol.

Answer 8

My mom used to buy me alcohol all the time when I was underage. She said as long I didn't leave the place I was at or drive in a car she didn't care. Now I thank my mom for that cuz if she didn't let me do it underage I would drink alot more now. It kind of turned me off like I dont care about having it cuz it was always an option for me.

Answer 9

im 20 and i know some of my friends parents do this, ive been drinking with their families since i was 17 they say they rather have the kids drink there then drive but what they dont know is when they go to be some kids are driving home..i think is stupied to many parents these days are trying to be a buddy, its sad really, i agree teens are going to do it anyway, but the parents shouldnt be supplying achohol for there kids parties, they cant keep a eye on all of the people there...

Answer 10

No, I wouldn't buy them alcohol. I grew up in Germany where you can drink at sixteen and buy alcohol on base at eighteen. It actually worked out well because kids didn't get their licenses until after they would drink.

I'd show concern with her habits now. It's good that she's [sort of] trying to communicate with you but you need to set boundaries. Talk to her father about all of this and if possible [and if she's of any influence] her biological mother.

Her friend's parents can get in BIG trouble for this. It'd probably be best to encourage her to make new friends without being so pushy. Obviously, she's being provided with alcohol if she's going to their homes.

My best friend's mom used to buy her alcohol but the rule was for it to stay inside of her home. It makes sense but I don't know if that's okay with me. This way her child can drink in moderation feel "cool" but stay out of harms way. Either way, probably speaking to your husband would be best. Best of Luck!