I think I did the right thing, but I need to hear it from someone else right now, because I'm feeling Shitty

Question

9 months ago my gay lover moved in with me. two months into the relationship he decided to go straight and began daiting my best female friend and cut me off. he stayed living with me. I wanted to keep the friendship eventhough it was verry hard on me.he went to work with me one night but quit that night. he's lied to me he has stolen from me and even forged one of my checks to himself. he got a job this week and said it was going well. night before last he came home and said the line went down and everyone was sent home. Last night wile he was suposivly at work Human Resorse called looking for him to inform him he was fired. I told him he couldnt keep a job because he didnt want to. That he is a free loader and that he wasnt going to free load off me anymore. I told him to pack his things and I would take him where ever he needed to go, but he wasnt staying here. I'm feeling like the shitty friend now! I think I caried him long enough. Did I do wrong asking him to go? feel like I did.

Answer 1

No matter how bad it seems and how bad I would personally feel myself, you did the right thing. He needs to see that he cant free load off you anymore and that he needs to take his life more seriously. I mean, he even stole from you! Thats pretty bad. I guess all Im saying is that it was right and that you cant just let him get away with it, he needs to do things himself and being on his own is for the best. Just because you kicked him out doesnt mean you arent a great friend.

Answer 2

Don't worry about it, the same thing happens to me. Like you could have sworn you saw something just now but then it's like gone, and sometimes you hear a voice calling your name, and then go running towards your mother asking her why she's looking for you, and then finding out no-one called you. Well basicly I see things in my dreams that does come true a few days or few weeks into the future, hear my name sometimes and some other stuff, and seeing something that's not there.

Answer 3

Slow down and read what you wrote. Are you seriously thinking you are the shitty friend. First of all are you living your life the way you want? It doesn't sound it. Get rid of that person and never ever speak to him again. He is a toxic human waste you may care but you are caring about someone who doesn't give a crap about you. In this life we only get one shot is that the person you want to put your shot on/with. What ever kind of manipultion this man has done to you, you need to think about it snap out of it. Get him the Hell out of your life immediatly. The way you tell it it sounds insane that you have not whipped up on his ***. Be smart be the star of your life not a punching bag for a fake guy. Remember when you were young and a happy an exciting moment from your past, go live that way again be happy and get away from the mucky funk you are in. Be smart you deserve better then that BS.

Answer 4

I think this is a joke question.
If your gay lover went straight, you should have thrown him out then. Are you the "purse?"
If he lied to you, stole from you, forged from you, he should be living in a cell.
It is very bad form for HR to tell YOU he is fired. It might even be illegal in some states. It is none of your business.
It was disloyal and mean for you to trash him to complete strangers, but don't beat yourself up too bad. He brought it on himself.
You are not the s*&^ ty friend. You are the free-loader's former victim.
How much more were you going to take ? Would he have to give you a disease, beat you, steal your car? Out you at work?
Don't you have any self-worth, honey? You don't have to take purposeful pain from someone to prove you can love them. You are not being mean to protect your home, and your finances. You do not have to perform like a pet monkey to receive love. You can have boundaries and be respected and find a real friend.
Love yourself. Accept no substitutes. Take care of yourself, no matter what. If the person you are with stops supporting himself, unless he is ill or disabled, boot him out. If someone lies to you, get rid of him for a PARTNER!!! Do not tolerate that crap or you will get more of it. If anyone steals or forges anything from you, hits you, etc, report them to the police. You do not have to live like that.
Yes, you may be alone for a while, but so what! Isn't alone better than being a doormat?
I think it is. Alone freed me to write, to travel, to date, to stay up late eating crackers in bed, to enjoy MY life.
Good luck, hon.

Answer 5

You can be a Co dependent if you want to keep him. I would cut bait and fish for someone who ENHANCED my life, instead of Distract, someone who would carry you once in a while. In order to do this, you would have to clearly define the differences between YOUR WANT, and YOUR NEED. Lustful, orgasmic, physicality, you may want, but you need Love, compassion, understanding and honor. Be a good parent to yourself, and get want you need, not what you want, and your relationships will work. This guy is all about Physicality, getting laid. I know you are inspired for more. If you still feel bad, Read some Christ Science and be saved from "mortalizum".

Answer 6

Nope. You've been walked on long enough. I wouldn't even consider staying friends with him unless he goes through some serious maturing.
I strongly recommend staying single for a while, so you can give yourself time to think about what attracted you to that loser and what you can do to keep from landing in that position again.
It sounds as if he was emotionally abusive. Nobody needs that.
Good luck for a progressive future.

Answer 7

You done the right thing honey.
You feel bad because kindness is part of your nature.
This guy disrespected you and should never of come back a second time.
You have nothing to feel bad about at all, you done the right thing.
He did not care about you because if he did he would not of treat you the way he did.
I really hope you find someone who is as kind as you as he will treat you good.
He has betrayed your trust but don't let it ruin any future relationship, as not all guys behave like him.
Good luck and forget about him.

Answer 8

You may feel shitty for awhile but it's better than being **** on, isn't it.
I can't stand people who take and take and take some more - probably cause I was the one always giving.

You'll be amazed at how great you're life is without this sponge, in awhile. It'll take some time to get over the guilt and you'll need to "grieve" over your lose but believe me - it gets better!

You may even find yourself in another relationship just like the last one.... out of habit we always go back until we "learn from our mistakes".

Good luck and please don't let yourself be taken advantage of again. Life is too precious to waste on someone unworthy of you.

Answer 9

You didn't do anything wrong! You have a right to protect yourself from being further used and abused by this person who clearly is no real friend to you. He is an opportunist and you are better to simply turn your back on him. Giving someone a hand up is never a bad thing, it's him who is in the wrong for coming to you with his hand out! I had a friend named Jeffry who was like this...Don't let people manipulate you with your emotions for them. Fare Thee Well.

Answer 10

unless you like being used like a beast of burden, i would say you did the right thing. friendship was one sided. this guy has wayyyyyy too many problems that you can't fix. he has to want to change and obviously all he wants to do is whirl through people's lives creative havoc like a tornado. let him take that nonsense elsewhere.

he walked into your life, i'm sure he could have walked back out but you gave him a ride. i would have given him change for the pay phone so he could call himself a cab.