Who should the RSVP get sent to?

Question

I know it traditionally gets sent to whoever is hosting/paying for the wedding, but my fiance and I are paying for the majority of it ourselves, but my parents are also helping out some financially. I would like them to come to us to be able to keep track better, but I think it would be safer to go to my parents b/c they live in a house (and know their mailman), whereas we live in an apartment, and I wouldn't want them accidentally going to the wrong apartment number. Also, if they go to my parents, do the inner envelopes get addressed to what my parents would call that specific guest (ex: joe and jan vs. uncle joe and aunt jan??) Help please.

Answer 1

First, if you feel safer having your RSVPs go to your parents, then that is probably where they should be going. Especially if you think they would go to another apartment, I would suggest going with your parents. As for how they are addressed, you should be putting Joe and Jane OR Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane ... the invites need to be formally addressed as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith.

Answer 2

The RSVP cards should go to your parents' house because there is less of a chance of the cards being lost if they are directed to a home mailbox.

The outside and inside envelopes should be addressed in this manner . .

Outside . . Mr and Mrs Troy Clayton
Inside . . Mr and Mrs Clayton

Outside . . Mr and Mrs Troy Clayton
Inside . . Mr and Mrs Clayton
Marvin and Heather (their children)

Outside . . Doctor and Mrs Troy Clayton
Inside . . Doctor and Mrs Clayton

Outside . . The Honorable and Mrs Troy Clayton
Inside . . Judge and Mrs Clayton

Outside . . Miss Christine Pritchett
Mr Troy Clayton
Inside . . Miss Pritchett
Mr Clayton

If you are having a formal wedding and using a printed invitation then the only time you should be using family names is when you send your parents or grandparents their invitation . . Mother and Father or Grandmother and Grandfather. You really should avoid using . . Cousin Tilly or Uncle Bill on the envelopes.

Answered by: A Certified Wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 3

Okay, so the inner envelopes should be addressed with the guest's names, but nothing else. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". You should not say, "Uncle Joe and Aunt Jan", but instead use their formal titles. If one is a doctor, you could say, "Dr. and Mrs. John Smith", or "Mr. John and Dr. Jane Smith".

If the invitation says, "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Jones invite you to the wedding of their daughter...", then the responses should go to your parents. If the invitation says something like "Ann Marie Jones and Michael Eric Miller, along with their families, invite you to their wedding...", then the responses should go to you.

There's no reason why your parents can't put these all in a stack for you to deal with when you can pick them up. Just because they're mailed to your parents' house doesn't mean your parents have to do the work of tracking them.

Answer 4

The Inner Envelopes should be addressed the same as the outer. Formal Names. You can have the invites sent, in your name, your parents house. I would do this, especially since you are afraid they might be misplaced. I lived in a rental property and my mail got messed up all the time. So, I use to have important things mailed to my parents house, even though I didn't live there. It's just safer.

Answer 5

It is acceptable for the RSVP to be addressed to you and your fiance at your parent's house. However the RSVP should be addressed to whom ever sent the invitation out. As am example, if the invitation reads you and your finance requests the pleasure of........... Then it should be addressed to the two of you.

You also do not use specific name such as Uncle Joe, you would use Mr & Mrs xyz.

I am English, so most of what we would do is very formal, it may be a little more relaxed in the US.

Happy wedding to you both.

Answer 6

Usually the RSVP cards are addressed to the bride (not the couple). In my apartment building, if any mail goes to the wrong box, people just put it onto this little ledge - I'm sure something similar happens in your building. But, even if one does get lost, you'll want to call everyone who hasn't sent their RSVP anyway to see if they're coming or not. So any lost RSVPs will be caught this way.

If you do really wish to have them sent to your parents' place, put your name on the envelope even with your parents' address. I don't think there's any need to do this though, and I'm sure you won't have any problems receiving and counting the invites. Like I said, no doubt there will be folks who don't reply and you'll have to call them anyway.

Answer 7

I might check into one of the private mail places like a UPS store, or a place that has private mail boxes, and see if you could get a P.O Box, and have the RSVPS sent there then they can be address The Wedding Of John and Jane Doe.
P.O Box 1213, Somewhere, AW, 12345.
They might be an idea.

Answer 8

Considering all the info you gave...

it is best for the RSVP to go to your parents house for better tracking.

even though it is addressed to you parents you would still be the RSVY person so it just makes sense that it is how you call the specific person.

Answer 9

If your mom agrees, it is better to have them returned to a house. You have the invitations addressed to - for example, if it's an aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and family.

Answer 10

We had the same situation. We finally decided to take care of it ourselves, we had no problems having them sent to our apartment, minus some people just not sending them back! They will be safe coming to you & I personally like seeing invites from the couple, not their family, but that's just me.