please help me decide what to do?? wedding or son's baseball game????

Question

ok ppl i really need help a good friend of mine is getting married tommorow (they have been together for year and have a 11 year old daughter) but anyway i found out my boy has a baseball tourement at noon and the wedding is at 1 and out of town i did not know until wednesday about this tourement but my boy has never missed a game and this is the last of the season and without him they dont have enough kids to play well i asked my friend how mad she would be if we didnt make the wedding but came to the reception and she got mad and said you have ball games all season why does he have to go and why come if you cant be there for the wedding she is paying 13.00 for each meal and i toldd her if i didnt make it i would pay for are meals and still give her a gift so am i wrong putting my child first? do i take the chance of losing a friend am i being greedy or is she i really want to go to my kids game and she is making me fell guilty for that telling me to send him with others what to do?

Answer 1

Is there someone that you trust that you can leave your son with that can take him to the game? If so, maybe they could video tape the game for you. I know how important sporting events are to kids I played when I was younger and so do my children. I would not be hurt if my parents had missed an occasional game for something as important as someone's wedding, my children would be understanding as well.

Bottom line though, you have to follow your own heart and do what you think is best, but don't allow your friend to bully you into coming to her wedding unless you feel it is the right choice for you.

Answer 2

I say go to your son's game, because understandable the person getting married is a good friend (but not a good friend, that you are not in the wedding correct)? But what I suggest, because you are right, you child should come first, is that you go to your sons game, because a lot of people really don't go to the church anymore, and most of the time the church is no more then a half hour now. Then after your sons game, take a quick shower, and go to the reception, because I would think the reception should be early evening like 6-7? This way, you wont disappoint your son, and you wont lose a friend. She is probably just stressing out because usually right before a wedding everything goes wrong (or so it seems), and i'm sure she doesn't really mean to send your son with others. But, if you could manage to do both more power to you.

Answer 3

No, you are not wrong to put your family first. Your friend should understand that especially since she has an 11 year old daughter. The world keeps turning even on her wedding day. Your son should come first. You are not obligated to your friend to attend her wedding. You are obligated to your son in my opinion. If you lose her as a friend over this then maybe it is best that you do. You shouldn't have friends that are not understanding. You're not being greedy because you are buying a gift (even though you can't go) and even offered to pay for your food which I think is a great friend.

Don't let her make you feel guilty! That's not what good friends do. The way that she is acting sounds a little childish from someone looking in from the outside. I would just go to your sons game and enjoy yourself and not feel guilty one bit as you have tried to do your best to make up for not being able to be there.

Answer 4

Why are you asking, is it for reessurance that your doing the right thing.

Yes you pick your kid over anyone aside from the father of the child!

If she can make that kind of a comment and my understanding is she has an 11 yr old child, i feel sorry for that child because nothing dealing with that child will ever be as important as her mom's friends or what they are doing.

I wouldn't give her a gift, why, she was rude and selfish. You were polite enough to offer to pay for your meals, as well as send a gift, and yet she had the guts to put you done for wanting to do the right thing and put your child first, She would be no friend of mine.

She's being a twit and isn't worth the time of day and i wouldn't talk to her untill she appologized to both you, your husband and your son. Period end of Story.

Go be a mom and lots of luck to your son, hope he has a great time and wins the game and knows how much you truely do love him.

Answer 5

The cheapest I could find was $24 a person for an upcoming reception in Miami. Tough decision. As someone who's getting married in a month, but a guy, go to the baseball game. Have everything ready so that you can go home and head to the wedding. Then again, if it's my best friend he has to be at my wedding. If it were any other friend and it's not any other ball game, go to the ball game. Give your camera or video camera to someone who's going to be at the wedding. At least I would understand.

Answer 6

1. Professional Baseball Player 2. A traditional southern, rural wedding, in a country field. Colors are Autumn colors, especially reds and golds. About 175 guests, with my best friends and sister as the bridesmaids in cowboy boots. 3. Tell him during a game, up on the scoreboard. 4. Brayden Samuel Holden 5. Ace Noah Holden 6. Ava Savannah Holden and Alexis Hannah Holden 7. Blakesly Grace Holden 8. Nathaniel "Nate" Tristan Holden and Lily Scarlett Holden

Answer 7

I think that if it is really important to your son that he attend his game, he should. If there is someone else that could take him, a friend on the team, or his dad, or something like that, tat would be a great solution. Maybe they could video the game for you and meet you at the reception afterwards. If no one else can take him to the game, your friend should be a an understanding adult, especially since she has a child herself, and understand that kids have to come first. You're not in the wedding, so they'll get married with or without you. Her ceremony is probably being video taped, so make sure she knows you want to see the ceremony with her afterwards, but this is something that is really important to your son, and make sure she understands you'll be there at the reception to celebrate with her afterwards, so you aren't abandoning her.

Answer 8

For me, this would be a no brainer, my son's ball game would come first. Of course, my daughter missed my brother's wedding because of final rehearsals for her school play. Your son has made the commitment to his team, without him, they may have to forfeit. This not only affects your son, but the rest of his teammates as well. When your child plays any team sport, you basically commit to having him/her at every game, and every practice. Your children always come before your friends, and if your friend (with an 11 year old) doesn't get that, then she's not a very good friend. I won't comment on her attributes as a mother. But I know I wouldn't feel comfortable at all sending my child to an out of town baseball tournament with someone else, I would want to be there. I think you've been more than generous, offering to reimburse her for the money for your meals (which someone else will eat, because SOMEONE will show up who didn't RSVP). Go to your son's ball game and tell your friend that you're sorry. The world does not revolve around her wedding.

p.s. I had a good friend in a similar situation--son had a soccer tournament, friend had a wedding. She sent her son with some of the other kids to the soccer game--she and her husband went to the wedding. Son broke his arm at the soccer game, and because mom and dad were at a wedding, it was harder to get in touch with them. The mom has since said, if one of her kids are involved in something, she's there, and she really doesn't care what she misses to be with her children. The kids come first...period.

Answer 9

Honestly, I agree with her. You get to see your son play ball every Saturday...She will only get married once (let's hope), and missing it would be a tragedy.

If I were in your shoes, I would work to find a babysitter (perhaps one of the moms of the other kids on the team?) who could take your son for the afternoon. This would allow you to let your son go to his tournament, and for you to not miss what is the most important day of your friend's life.

Actually, if it were me, I'd tell the coach my son couldn't attend the tournament because we have an existing commitment...that's the appropriate thing to do, etiquette wise. The coaches on the team should have known long ago that there'd be a tournament this weekend, and they should have notified you a long time ago, as well.

At any rate, don't miss your friend's special day over a baseball game. In your lifetime, you'll probably see 150 games, but you only have one chance to see the wedding.

Answer 10

My kids always come first. If its the last games of the season and a tournament then I think you should go with him. How can you disappoint your child by not going to the last game of the season? You would feel quilty for not being there for him. We are a big baseball family so my kid's ball games come first. I live an hour away from where my son plays ball and we still drive up for practice and for games. Everyone thinks we're crazy, but hey my son loves to play ball and I'm not going to tell him no. I would say that your friend should understand that your child comes first. Wouldn't she put her child first?? Blood is thicker than water. Put your child and your family first. I've had to bail on friends cause my kids needed me to do something. I've had friends bail on me cause their kids needed then to do something. We are all still friends. We all understand that we have to be there for our children. Good luck! Don't feel guilty about putting your child first!

Answer 11

your mistake was in asking your friend if you could miss the ceremony. she would never have known, in a crowded church, that you weren't there.

this "friend" doesn't sound like much of one if she's trying to make you feel bad for being a good mother and putting your family obligations first.

skip the wedding. take your son to his game. the example you will be setting for your boy about commitment and teamwork will be worth far more than any warm potato salad.

if you can, go to the reception. and, as part of your gift to the bride, put $26 one-dollar bills in a card to pay for your meals.

she'll either understand the statement or she won't. (i'm guessing the latter, because she sounds like a capital-M Moron.)