forgive or forget??

Question

January of this year my boyfriend had his sister over for his birthday. I was 8 months pregnant at this time. Everyone was drinking and she got really pissed off when she found out that me and my boyfriend planned the pregnancy. She got in my face saying i was going to leave him in a year and just going crazy for no reason.. anyway boyfriend told her to get out. He went outside and i stayed inside but i could hear them threw the bedroom window and she said that i only got pregnant because my mother died and that was my way with dealing with it.. My mother died June15 of last year and i concieved May 30th. To this day she is not aloud to come anywhere me or my child because i feel she is unstable.. Do you think this is wrong to keep her out of my childs life?? Even though she didn't seem to care much with i was 8 months pregnant?

Answer 1

If you feel threatened by her in any way then yes you dont need to be around someone like that. You are better off w/out the drama.

Answer 2

Forgive or forget what? I would be pissed at you too if you planned a pregnancy without marraige. Her getting into your face may have been alcohol related but this was going to happen anyway in a much indirect matter. She knows you because you're both women. Is she right about your reason to get pregnant? You didn't mention any commitment to your boyfriend at all here. You may be keeping her out of your life because she may be telling the truth, and I don't see from just this one example that she is unstable. She could be right. So first you don't marry your child's father, and now you're keeping him/her from knowing his/her aunt. Nice.

Answer 3

Well firstly, forgiving and forgetting aren't the same thing. Don't confuse them - you can forgive someone but the pain doesn't go right away, it takes time to heal. There will be times when her words will haunt you and you'll hurt. But it's not fair to use the baby as a pawn. If she has a desire to see the child then let her. Maybe she'll come around and you two will be able to put things behind you. Until then, be the bigger person - prove her wrong by acting like a mature, responisble mother.

Answer 4

I don't think it is wrong to limit her contact with your child, completely eliminating her from your child's life may not be the best answer. It sounds like she has some issues to deal with concerning you and your boyfriend's relationship, and shutting her completely out may only make it worse. But you also have to consider the well-being of your child. You don't want the negative feelings between you and your boyfriend's sister to come down on your child. If you think that she may take her feelings out on your child, then I think you chould definitely keep your distance. As far as forgive and forget, I think you should forgive her, while keeping in mind how she feels so that you can avoid another incident such as this.

Answer 5

I think if you truly feel that she is a problem and she will make your child feel bad then you should not let her come near you or your child. A kids worst experience is having someone purposely treat him or her in the wrong way. What you should do is try to notice if she has gotten any better and if you do not see a difference in her and still think that she is unstable then just live your own life with your child and she does not have to be a problem in your or your child's life.

Answer 6

Your grammar and spelling seem very poor. I hope this is due to frustration and not due to lack of education.
And if you planned a pregnancy, I hope you can raise that child without public assistance.
There is always three sides to a story.
As for the sister, is there any truth in what she said? If not, and you are afraid she would do damage to your child (emotionally, mentally or physically), then do what you feel is necessary as long as you are not hurting your child by denying it from it's family.

Answer 7

The only thing you need to be concerned about from here on is your baby/child.

Do not waste your time with it because once the child is born you will learn how little time there is for trivial matters such as this.

Remember, the single most important thing in your life now is the safety and proper care of your child.

Answer 8

Is this her only brother? If it is than she felt threatened at the time, she probably felt that her bro was not going to be hanging around as much and she would be alone. And maybe at the time she felt that you were going to ruin him facially with child support. I have an older bro we get along great but I will not allow his wife to hurt him. What ever differences we have (sister -in law) it is between us. Does his sister feel remorseful that she blew up? If she does, talk it over with your Boyfriend and see how he feels. Good luck.

Answer 9

Let's not forget, she's your boyfriend's family, and thus your child's family. So yes, forgive, but no, don't forget. Allow her to visit her niece or nephew, but no unsupervised visits until you feel she's matured enough to handle it. That could have just been a one-time incident. Besides, I think you're more upset because she talked like it was just your idea to get pregnant, not a mutual decision between you and her brother.

Answer 10

OK kiddo, reread that second sentence, everyone was drinking........I could say need I say more, but, does she still have an attitude towards you? does she still drink around you? does she ever talk nice about the baby or you? weigh your options and decide from that. I had a sister-n-law that didn't like me at all. I was ALWAYS polite to her no matter what and did my best to not cause a riff between my (then) husband and her. What does your heart tell you?

Answer 11

Your bf's sister was probably drunk or something. Ignore her until she apologizes for her actions.

If she doesn't, then ask her why she feels that way... Explain to her that the reason you are pregnant has nothing to do with your mother's death. If she sees what you see, she might understand.

If all else fails, she's being a little shyt who's jealous. Ignore her until the child is old enough to see her immaturity.