How hard is it with two children close together in age?

Question

I think I am pregnant with my second baby. I am too scared to take a test but I already know that I am. I am so freaked out. Having one child is so hard. I just don't know how I can care for two at once. My son just turned one. Does anyone out there have 2 kids close together. How much harder is it?

Answer 1

I have 4 children, ages 5 1/2, 4, 2, and 2 months. They are 18, 22, and 24 months apart. After my first daughter I could not wait to have another baby! Having 2 in a row is so much better than just 1 since you are rarely bored! I would have done so much more with my first if I knew how easy it was relatively with just 1 child though, now that I have 4 I rarely go out at all-just to preschool, and to doctor's appts. I think it is much harder to go from 2 to 3 children, having 2 at once is not bad at all. You just can't sleep late like you did with your first baby since you have to get up when your older child wakes up and watch and feed her.

Answer 2

My kids are 25 months apart, so a little longer gap in between. I really did not find it anymore overwhelming than I did the first time, but my 2 yr old accepted the baby very well. Dont get me wrong she did get mad and run off, but she never was mean to her sister. It was hard when they were both crying, then I usually just started crying too and after a few minutes get up and go on. But by the time my youngest was 6 months it was running smooth like clock work. Just give yourself a break and don't be too hard on yourself. My kids are also best friends now. I did not plan my second either but now would not have wanted them any further apart, within 1 yr they have a built in playmate and makes it easier believe it or not. And yes I had 2 in diapers, but if your changing one behind all day what is the difference if you add another LOL Once the baby is a little older you can bathe them together etc. It does not add that much work except it is hard being pregnant with an active toddler but you will get through it fine.
And I have many wonderful memories of them together when they were so little (now 6 and 8). My oldest would get mad when I could not get her a drink or whatever when I was feeding the baby and run and shut herself in my room, she had not figured out how to turn the knob and pull at the same time, so she would say in a little voice "Hey mama you gonna let me out of here" it was so cute. Or one time my youngest was in her walker watching her sister take a bath and I went to change a load and when I came back she had been sharing the water with her sister and pouring cup after cup on the tray and my youngest was soo excited. Or when they squish into the same chair because they want to sit by each other. not trying to go on and on just want to make you feel better about it and realize some of our greatest blessings come our way by accident.

Answer 3

Oldest will be 6yrs next month. Middle turned 2 back in Feb, and I have an 8 month old. For me, it was actually harder when the 2nd one came. Mainly because I got used to not having to carry the diaper bag, getting up all night, ect. since the oldest was pretty independent by then. As for when #3 got here, it really wasn't a big change as I was used to getting up, and carrying a ton of baby gear. The hard part is trying to manage time for the older child, as you will be pretty busy with the new one. Expect some jealousy and setbacks, but try and include the older one in some of the baby care: throwing away dirty diapers, ect. The other challenge has been working out the floor time, so the older one doesn't accidently fall or run over the baby. Schedule naps at the same time, so you can get the much needed rest. It's really not that difficult as long as you can get a schedule going.

Yes, it will seem like and assembly line sometimes when diaper changes are needed LOL!

Answer 4

I have 3 kids. My younger two are close together. I got pregnant with my third baby when my second baby was 9 months old. My husband and I freaked out just like you are, asking "How are we going to do this?" But once the panic and shock was over, we actually now feel we are very blessed having them so close together. The two of them have a great bond and an awesome relationship. Now their ages are 6, 3 and 18 months. We could not have asked for a more wonderful family. We have more love than our hearts can hold! It will be hard at first but once you get into a routine it gets easier. Also, my husband and I decided that when our newborn was home, I would care of her and he would care for our toddler. That worked out beautifully. Just work out a system that works for both of you. Everything will be just fine!

Answer 5

Relax...it is actually great! My two youngest are exactly 12 months apart -15 and 27 months. My oldest is 8 years old. The 8 year old was far more demanding...he was always needing attention and wanting his parents to play with him. The youngest have a lot of fun together...and actually give you time where you can supervise them ( ie be in the same room as they are, but do your own paperwork or cook/clean for example) without having to entertain them.
Positives to think about:
a) there will be a huge overlap in terms of clothes and toys, and baby equipment, car seats and babysitting ( 2 for the price of 1!!!!!) etc.
b) the cost of having 2 children, close in age together, I would estimate at 130% of the cost of having two. In other words, really the only things you are paying more for is food and diapers...
c) one child learns from the other...and therefore speeds up development.
d) you don't need to arrange playdates as they are able to play with each other
e) your two children may well grow up to be very close to each other, and become lifelong friends. This is a great gift to them!
f) start buying your 1st child unisex clothes, so that you can hedge your bets!

Yes...as the pregnancy develops, I am sure you will get more tired...but as long as you are easy on yourself, and don't expect too much you will get through it.

So congratulations...you are about to start a fantastic new journey. Enjoy it! and know that you have done the right thing!

Answer 6

I will soon find out the answer to this, I have a 16 month old and I am 30 weeks pregnant. I love all the work of having 1 child-I don't look at it as work, I love everything I do with her and for her! Everyone I know that has had their children close in age tell me that having two isn't as hard as you think it will be since you are already in the routine of doing it for/with your first child! Also they can grow up together and be close. I'm not stressing over it, I am excited!

Answer 7

My first 2 boys were 13 months apart. My third was born when my second was 27 months.

In all honesty it was easier having the two be REALLY close in age than the 2-3 year gap. They nap together (with me of course), they mostly play with the same things, you're still completely baby proofed, you have 1 in diapers, why not 2?

I believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and sometimes I just had to trust that He would get me through.

The first year with the 2 boys is kind of a blur, not much sleep, always busy. But, you get a routine and stick to it. Do as much as you can to get ready for things ahead of time. Organize, organize, organize. Get as much help as you can. Don't worry if they don't do things the way you do; at least they're getting done. Who cares if the baby isn't burped exactly as you would do it? Laundry not as neat? Go with the causal look. Paper plates rock.

You just do it. You take care of your babies and do what you can in the house and call it good. Don't feel bad about what you don't do. If your babies are clean, fed and loved, the rest of the world can fall apart.

You can do it. It seems overwhelming right now, but you can do it. You are capable of much more than you ever imagined.

Try to connect with a moms group in your area. Here are a few links to some national one. I was in MOMS club and I know lots of people in MOPS. Check them out, then take a nap : ).

http://www.momsclub.org/
http://www.mops.org/

Answer 8

Personally, I think two kids are more than twice as hard as one, but three kids are more than three times as hard as one! It seems to increase exponentially.... Although, I have friends with large families (8 kids+) and they tell me that, at around 4 kids, it tends to stabilize, and 5, 6, 7, on up kids are as much work as 4.

I have brothers who are 20 months apart, and daughters who are 1 minute apart (yes, they are twins!). I think it has been beneficial to them to have a buddy so close in age - my girls kept each other entertained when they were younger, and still play together really well. My little brothers played together really well, too, and are still really close. It was nice having the one just a little bit older to kind of give the younger one guidance and "pave the way" in school, etc.

I have a cousin I am very close to who has one child who just turned 4, another one who will be 3 in a couple of months, and twins who just turned 1 (that's right - 4 kids within 4 years, with 3 of them still in diapers!). She has done an amazing job of staying on top of it all, but she does it by being organized (everything has a schedule and a process and she tries very hard not to deviate from it) and disciplined. At first it was really hard for her - she had real difficulty ever being anywhere, on time! But over the last couple of months, as the twins have started being able to walk, etc., she has kind of gotten a handle on it.

I think you will find a way to make it work for you, too. I mean, you kind of have to, right? What else can you do about it at this point? I would say the best thing to do is figure that you're just going to have to deal with it as best you can, and start doing research on-line, at the library, wherever - to get ideas for making things as organized and stress-free for you as possible.

Having two small children so close together will be a lifestyle change for you, definitely, but you will manage. All moms do!! Just hang in there, and keep your chin up, and don't forget to take a day or two (or even an hour or two) for yourself once in awhile. You will feel much more able to cope and juggle all your responsibilities if you take care of yourself, too.

Hope this helps!

Answer 9

I have a 1.5 year old and a 6 month baby. Its not as difficult as it sounds, honestly. I think I expected the worse. But the truth is I was still in the habit of changing diapers, not really use to sleeping, and still had my eldests bottles in the house. My son, the oldest normally sleeps through the night, so I'm only dealing with one kid @ midnight. It just takes a little time to develop a rhythm. You'll feel a little crazy until that happens, but once you have a schedule down, you'll do just fine!!!

Answer 10

I have 2 boys and they are exactly 2 years apart it is difficult but not unmanageable. My sons are 3 and 1 and they are very happy boys always playing together , and keep each other company. I don't see a problem with it, at least they will be able to look out for each other and they will always have stuff in common and take care of one another. My younger son has learned alot from his older brother and talks alot more than my first son did. They learn from each other .