Athiests, do you visit grave sites of your dead loved ones?

Question

I was wondering if you did, I wouldn't think so since you don't think they have a soul. Maybe you would do it for your sake, but why? Maybe it makes you feel closer to them? but you know your not because they are non exsistant???? Or for that matter do you even burry then or creamate them? Do you keep the ashes??? I usually get mean answers back, im not trying to insult anyone, I 'm just curious.

I'm not a christian, and don't know if they do either, im asking athiests.

I'm not saying there soul is near there body, I guess i was just ment some people feel closer to them there.

Answer 1

No, usually I don't.

However, I have went in the past, but that was more to feel close to them, afterall it was the last place I was close to their physical body.

Answer 2

Nope.

My family has long been opposed to burial, on the grounds of wasted land, if nothing else. We've had a long tradition of cremation.

The ashes are scattered, usually in a favourite location. I have visited the site where my father's ashes were scattered, but only because it is also one of my favourite sites as well, not because that was where his remains were scattered.

I never considered these practises in terms of my atheism (as I said, they're family custom - not all of whom are atheists). I've always wondered what the point of burying people in graves was.

I always assumed that people visited the graves merely as a reminder of that person - much the same as looking at a picture of them might do.

It never occurred to me that some might connect the grave to the deceased's soul. Do they believe they can contact that soul at the grave? Is there some reason to believe that the soul is somehow connected to the grave, even though the person presumably never visited that gravesite while alive? Isn't the very essence of the belief in an afterlife that the soul leaves the body after death? Why would they then believe there's still a connection between the soul and the remains of the departed?

Now I find cemeteries are even more confusing.

Answer 3

I don't think it's my desicion to make whether I bury or cremate a person. Usually the dead person had already decided that, right?

Personally, I could care less what happens to my body. I'm an organ donor, so first they will rip the useful parts out. After that, I'd like be stuffed and put in the corner of my livingroom, but I guess that won't be allowed.

Last year I buried my dad. He was an atheist as well. I visit his grave, to memorize him, to think about him, and to remember all the amazingly great things he taught me. It's nice to be at his grave and have a little talk with him, even if I know he can't hear me.

Was this friendly enough for your taste?

Answer 4

I used to bypass to my mum and dad' graves each season or on the anniversary of their deaths. I had to go 1500 miles away nevertheless, so until now I left I took a image of their headstones. i will constantly pull out that photograph and that's like i'm there. And sure, I nevertheless try this even with the undeniable fact that that's been 15 years.

Answer 5

My grandfather's ashes were scattered in the San Fransisco Bay, just past the Golden Gate Bridge. I have not visited the area since because I don't feel the need to :)

I remember being on the boat, heading out to the site so we could cast his ashes out to sea... I had this feeling of total contentment. I'd just lost my grandpa, but I was done grieving. Now, I was just happy that I'd had the chance to know such an awesome person...My memory of that day, including all of my memories of him when he was alive, are sufficient; there is no need to go back.

He may be nonexistent now, but he lives on in me and all of the people who knew him. That is enough. :)

Answer 6

Both my parents were cremated and their ashes were spread at sea, per their wishes. Both my in-laws were buried thousands of miles away. I didn't attend a funeral for any of them because I'm utterly repelled by thoughtless superstitious Christians who spoil it for everyone else. When I die, assuming my wishes are followed (not a certainty with Christians in the family), I'll be buried anonymously in a "green" cemetery, with no ceremony of any kind.

In a green cemetery no embalming fluids are permitted, so the body is kept free of toxic chemistry and does not have to be treated as a pollution threat to the environment. Bodies are buried in a simple shroud, no caskets, no concrete encapsulation. Just me and the worms. Even the grave marker is common biodegradable wood.

Answer 7

I'm not an atheist, but I decided to answer anyway.

I maintain the graves of deceased relatives because they were good to me, and they would have wanted me to. That's not the only reason, but a main one.

It's just respect. It doesn't necessarily follow from being religious, or an atheist.

My sister doesn't do it because she says "their souls aren't there." I didn't say they were. But that's got nothing to do with what they would have wanted.

I'm not sure who will do it when I'm gone. That bothers me a little.

We do the best we can.

Answer 8

I have done, but it is as a form of remembrance not because I think there is anything alive in the grave.

I don't think even Christians believe that.

You go to a grave to reminisce about the person who is dead, that's all. No big secret.

Answer 9

It's a good way to ponder memories of those you cared about that have passed no different than a picture. Has nothing to do with souls and voodoo. Plus I think cemeteries are peaceful for talking walks in.

Answer 10

I do visit their graves when I return to my hometown. I am with my parents and I do it out of respect for my parents and my dead loved ones.

My own wishes are to have my ashes spread in a place I love. I don't want a site that people travel to and feel sad.

(Edit) And you asked "What makes you feel closer to them?" And I neglected that bit! I try to carry on with things that were important to them. For my grandmom, I taught my daughter to knit, as grandmom taught me. I pass down her recipes. We also invited in an older man to our home for holidays, because he had no family. (He's since died as well).