I don't approve of an ex's marriage?

Question

I had a friend for a long time, then we started dating in college, then she became a sorority girl and began cheating, so everything sort of fell apart. We don't speak much anymore unless we end up meeting through mutual friends.
She's getting married in a couple of months, and I've refused to go to the wedding. Everyone thinks it's because I'm bitter we broke up, but I don't want to go because I really don't approve of the wedding. She's been engaged to the guy longer than they've dated/known each other. He's nice and smart and seems decent (he has a great job for 24), but he's wet behind the ears in more ways than one (he was a virgin before he met my ex/his fiance, for example).
I feel like this marriage might be doomed from the starting block, but I've yet to voice my concerns. Is this something I should bring up? Am I obligated to tell her the truth? Or should I let the happy couple stroll down the aisle?

And no, I don't mean anything drammatic, like during the wedding itself.

Yes I've been invited three times, and the ex keeps bugging me about it. I avoid her and the topic as much as possible.

Answer 1

it's no of your bizness really....butt out kid!

Answer 2

Professional Advice ---
#1 Because a person is not "wet behind the ears" does not mean he isn't the one for her. Weither he was a vrigin or not does not mean he isn't the one for her. The length of the relationship does not determine weither they are meant for each other either. A persons life/relationship experience DOES NOT tell you weither one person is meant for the other or not.

#2 You two have obviously grown apart since the falling out of the relationship you two shared. So what really gives you the right or place to say anything to her about her fiance? You dont tlak to her enough to have the place, the right, nor the title to tell her anything at all.

#3 Obligated to tell her the truth about what? What lies are there in the relaitonship she has now?? Because I fail to see it.

#4 NONE of your reasons as to why you dont approve are really valid reasons as to why she should not marry him. they are only valid to you.

#5 She has every good and right reason to marry him. He is nice, smart, and has a stable job.

#6 You should listen to these friend of yours. They "hit the nail on the head" when they said you are bitter. But you are not only bitter but jealous. And becuase your the ex, nothing you say to her is relaly going to be valid to her anyway.

#7 You've obviously spilled some beans about yourself without realizing it. Just because he isnt as experience with her nor known her as long as you isn't for you to judge. Just because you weren't a virgin and he was is another thing that isnt for you to judge.

#8 You obviously know that he is a good guy and that they are happy, you said so yourself in the question. So dont try and retrack it. LET THEM WALK DOWN THAT AISLE

Answer 3

Just leave it alone, no matter what you say really wont change the fact that they are going to get married, it may be a mistake and may be it wont, sometimes the most long lasting marriages are those of couples that haven't dated much, etc... sometimes marriages of people that have a lot of experience in stuff and have dated for many years and been engaged for a long time end up in divorce months after.
You should just hope for the best, wish them luck and just let it be....

Answer 4

Moon Family is exactly right. This has nothing to do with you so quit judging a perfectly nice guy and move on. Yes, this guy as everything you don't have, but that's life and life isn't fair.

Were you even invited to the wedding? I had an ex who assumed he was invited until I set him straight.

Answer 5

This isn't your choice. You are no longer close to the bride and don't seem to know the groom well. You and the bride seem to have had a fairly bitter falling out, too. Do you really think anyone will consider your concerns anything more than sour grapes?

Even if these two are headed for disaster in your mind, it's not your concern. Don't raise a ruckus. It won't change their minds and it will reflect badly on you, even if you do turn out to be right in the longrun.

Answer 6

You don't even see her that often, why do you care? Its really none of your business. If its a mistake, its their stupid mistake to make. I wouldn't go to the wedding either, but it would be because it would be weird to go to an ex's wedding. Forget about it. Not your problem. Not your responsibility either. If you were like her best friend or something, maybe, but if you don't care about her that way, why do you even have concerns about who she's marrying and why?

Answer 7

It's none of your business so i would keep quiet about it. Especially since you're not friends anymore. It'll just create tension when you're around mutual friends and that puts your friends in an awkward position. Just leave it alone and don't accept the invitation to go.

Answer 8

You don't know what is going to happen in the future. Even though the stats support that any marriage is iffy, it does no harm to show a little class and support. It's not like the wedding is going to stop because you don't show up.

Answer 9

If you were very close friends, then it might be ok for you to give her your opinion (if she asked), but that's not the case.
If you do not support the wedding don't go, but also don't make a big deal about it. Just send her your regrets and leave it alone.

Answer 10

1. It is in poor taste for her to invite and ex to her wedding. That is just strange. Especially if you don't speak much anymore.

2. It's absolutely not your place to say anything at all.

Answer 11

let them stroll down the aisle if its a mistake its theirs to make and frankly its not your buisness and if you dont want to sound bitter than stop cause you are not being subtle and what are you anyway a swammie can you forsee the future come on be nice go to the wedding and do the chicken dance