I've been involved with my boyfriend for about 17 months now, and my mother will NOT back off. I had to go through a very serious personal experience, and ever since then, my mom has been talking my boyfriend down, saying that I need something better,etc., etc. Now if this were anyone else, I'd be like forget you, I love him, but it's my mother and I have to have her approval. So I'm just so confused. What should I say to her? How can I say it without totally dismissing her opinion? How can I get my boyfriend to stop hating her for doing this to him? Help!
2007-06-22 05:37:31 · 6 answers · asked by vickirocks37 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Due to a recent reply, I have to make something clear. My boyfriend is NOT a bad guy. He's actually amazing. He treats me like a queen, is always there for me when I need him, hell we even go to church together. My mom use to love him and send me emails about how happy she was that I was with him. It wasn't until some major drama went down that she didn't like him anymore...
2007-06-22 10:16:17 · update #1
I am not a mother but Mothers knows best. A mother can look a young boy and see clear through him. They know when he is bad or good for there little girl. Obviously this guy is BAD for you. He is damaging your relationship with your mother, he has caused major problems in your life, he is causing problems in your mothers life and disrupting your home. He hates your mom and a man that hates your mom is definately out of the question because he hates that which you love. ALL HE HAS CAUSED IS PROBLEMS. It seems that your mom is right this time sweetie. She loves you far more than this horny-jerk. Because of MY mothers love and overprotectiveness I am a single, no kids, college educated, independent, world travelled, and a beautiful young woman. I could not have done it without her being so tough, loving and overprotective. YOU MOTHER WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR YOUR SAFETY AND WELL BEING. When a good guy comes along, that respects, adores and takes care of you, your mother will step back and even be his mom too. Sorry this is not what you wanted to hear but its whats best of your well being.
2007-06-22 06:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Seeking 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're setting up your question so it sounds like you are the victim here. We don't know how old you are or what it was that caused your mom to turn. Without that information we only have your side of the story. If your boyfriend is hating your mother, you have to wonder how he would feel about you if you made a decision he didn't like. I promise you, when you're 40, and find out that your husband cheated on you, or your boyfriend starts hitting you, or something else major goes down in your life, it's going to be mom that holds you and talks you through it, and tells you that she understands and that no matter what she is still mom and loves you more than anything. If your boyfriend really wants this fixed, he can stop being angry at your mom, and try to understand how she feels. Then work to fix the situation. If he's not willing to try to heal a tear between you and your mother, maybe you need to rethink what you're willing to put up with.
2007-06-30 01:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, without knowing what the major drama is, it is hard to give a clear answer. You need to sit down with your mom though and talk honestly yet tactfully, tell her that you love her but you also love this guy and you are going to try to make it work with him. Tell her that you appreciate her advice but as you are a grown up (I trust that you are grown up) you need some space to make your own decisions and you hope that she will at least TRY to respect that and maintain a good relationship with your b/f. As far as your boyfriend goes, he also needs to try to understand that your mom is looking out for you and she is always going to be there for you no matter what and he needs to also try and have respect for that relationship. Just make sure that your mom knows that you have boundaries that she should not cross when it comes to your romantic relationships
2007-06-30 09:18:41 · answer #3 · answered by civic9497 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this depends on how old you are if you are over 18 then your mother has to let you make your own mistakes or not if that be the case. i am a mother of three and i can see your mothers worry but i would never tell my children who they can and can not share there life with. but also i have a mother and feel for you cos when they get involved it makes life hard you need to follow your gut and do what ever that tells you.
2007-06-30 12:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by dittohicks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried sitting down with her and explaining that your not going to marry him or have his children, that would be your mothers main concern. Don't get angry at her opinions confirm them with her, because she thinks your not listening to her advice, tell her thank you Mum I love you for worrying, but she cannot protect you, and reiterate all the good morals she raised you with, and tell her its a stepping stone for you, you say to her you plan on living till your in your 80's and you have a long way to go before you get to 80.
2007-06-30 09:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by Blond Bits 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue in school, grow up get a job move out
call her some times
2007-06-30 02:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by razorraul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋