I am a single, 23 year old female. I graduated from college last year and have a good job living 100 miles from my mom. My mother has always been very protective and almost nosey. That was fine as a child, but now I feel I should have some more space. I didn't know a lot of people when I first moved here so I've tried to branch out in a variety of ways, including online communities (MySpace, dating sites, forums, etc). My mother feels that since these are public, she should be able to read and comment as she pleases (like she did my childhood diary). There is nothing bad on any of them, but they are not meant for her. I want public profiles so I can find/be found by friends. But even as adults, my friends are a bit put off by my mother's presence. I've hinted that it bothers me, but it hurts her feelings. She lives .5 miles from her mother and calls her every day. She thinks I don't love her since I don't tell her EVERYTHING about my life. How do I deal without blocking her?
2007-06-22 05:08:53 · 13 answers · asked by Alli 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Good lord! That's awful! Thank goodness my parents aren't technologically savvy!
I would keep a public page on MySpace or something so that people can track me down. Let that be the one your mother watches! Once your friend contacts you, give them the address to your private page that isn't searchable by your name or location. That way your mama can't track you down, she doesn't realize that you're screening what she sees, and you can post whatever you want.
Another option is if you use LiveJournal, you can do custom filters. Friend your mom, and let her read what you want to let her read, but have a different filter for your friends who didn't give birth to you. She'll never even know that she can't see all of your posts!
Good luck. That is truly an annoying problem!
2007-06-22 05:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Kristy N 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Biggest thing is you made them public and as much as you do not like it your mother is a part of the public. If she wants to monitor then there is no harm that is what mothers do. However I think she should keep her comments to herself. Sit down with her and tell her you appreciate that she is so concerned and you do not mind her checking on the posts and comments people make but you would prefer that she keep her comments to herself. I personally think there are better ways to meet other people. You never know what you will get on the the Internet.There are alot of predators out here and they come in all varieties. Your moms fears are just. Try joining a live people group in the community you live. You can see and get to know the person one on one instead of what they may write which could be a lie and harder to tell.
2007-06-22 05:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by debbie f 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 23 I would think that you would not be on my space giving and itinerary of your life and schedule while living alone. Your mom might be going over board but, that's her job to protect her child. Also remember meeting people on line is not something from her generation and there are nuts out there. If you are looking to find and make Friends you do not need a public profile go on to a web site called meetup.com It will tell you all the clubs and things going on in your area and you can make new Friends and meet lots of people that way.
2007-06-22 05:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A mother will be a mother no matter how old you are.We never stop caring and worrying about the ones we love.Just let her be your mum but tell her that there are times you need your time .I can understand the online chat thing as you never know who you are talking to and she just wouldn't want you to hook up with a mental case as you can be who ever you want to be in chat till you meet in real it is not the same .Just be careful looking in chat room there are the good the bad and the nasty .You mom only wants the best for you.I found a good one and have been married to him for 4 years and yes my mom freaked whe she heard i met someone on line and geesh i am a mother of two grown boys .If you want your mom off your back take time out just for her and you might be surprised that she will give you you time .Good luck
2007-06-22 05:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by Donna Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you meet someone, start IM, instead of a public forum, then she can't read your messages. (If you are smart enough to graduate from college, you should be intelligent enough to solve this problem. ) Don't hint to her. Don't tell her that you have a life beyond what she sees. Just live your adult life and share what you want to share with your mother. She needs to cut the cord and get her own life.
2007-06-22 05:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by Susan F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can talk with her and tell that you appreciate her concern but you'll let her know if you need her help. If that doesn't work have your husband let her know that it isn't necessary to keep tabs on you or him. If that doesn't work - MOVE! Marriage is hard enough without interference from even well meaning relatives. Try to remember that she loves her son and his family is most likely just concerned about you, not matter how irritating it may me. Good luck and I hope things work out for you!
2016-04-01 11:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not actually normal behavior by your mother. It is understandable that she would snoop (I don't say it's good or bad, but it's understandable). But if you've asked her not to comment, why does she? I don't mean that she's pathological or anything, but at your age you like to talk to your friends without your mom intervening.
If you can't convince her of this, you may have to block her after all. Don't worry too much about her feelings; she's not worrying too much about yours, is she? Be polite, and tell her you love her but you need some space.
2007-06-22 05:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out! Mothers are always going to be protective until the end. She loves you! You are still under her roof, no she doesn't have to be in your private business, but you don't have to be living there either. :) Good luck!
2007-06-22 05:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mom needs to butt out. If I were you I would consider blocking her, tell her why. Tell her she raised you well and she has to trust you. But you are an adult and you deserve to be treated like one.
Good luck!
2007-06-22 05:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by linda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set up another account for dating etc and don't tell her about it. what she doesn't know, isn't any of her business.
how does she even know the sites you're on?
you can make most comments viewable only to you, also.
she needs to get a life!
2007-06-22 05:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋