Too Young???

Question

Michelle is 15 and Paul is 18. Paul just graduated from high school and he asked Michelle to marry him. Michelle is one of my best friends and she wants me to be one of her bride's maids. They plan on getting married July or August 2008. I am worried that Paul doesn't really love her because he has cheated on her in the past and treated her badly. Michelle has thought she was pregnant 3 times, and he did stick with her though... so i'll give him props for that. Michelle is also going to be one of my bride's maids when i get married in three years to my boyfriend Matt. And our other bride's maid, Lauren will be getting married in three years to her senior boyfriend Austin. (Lauren, Michelle, Matt and I are all 15.) Do you think that we are too young to be thinking about things like this? Do you think that our relationships will last?
Just to help you out a little
Paul and Michelle have been dating for 5 months
Me and Matt & Austin and Lauren have dated for 8 months.
thanks!
Brit

Answer 1

YES! 3 years is a long time when your so young. Also, how can Michelle get married without her parents consent? You need to be 18 (17 in some states) to get married.
Don't rush this! I know more people who got married young and which they had waited then married later in life and wished it was sooner. In fact, I don't know anyone who wishes they got married sooner!

Answer 2

First like everyone else is saying 15 is way, WAY too young. The thought of marriage shouldnt even cross your mind or any of your friends. Life doesnt work like you guys are thinking. You dont all just plan at age 15 that you are getting married in three years. I cant stress enough that you dont know exactly is going to happen in a few years. Things change. Second I cant believe that you LITTLE (yes I said little, you're not an adult yet) have already had sex. I mean you're 15. You arent ready for the responsibility of possibly having a child. And seeing as your friend has thought she was pregnat 3 times already Im guessing condoms are not always being used. Lastly Paul is 18, that is disgusting that he is dating a 15 year old and is against the law to have any sexual contact with her

Answer 3

You are all absolutely positively too young. I mean this with the utmost sincerity... get your heads out of dream world.

Marriage is not all about love and laughter and flowers.

Before you have the ability to truly understand marriage and the responisbilities and sacrifices that go along with it, you have to experience life beyond high school. Those experiences are what prepare you more for the next step in life. You are jumping way too far ahead and you don't know what you are really missing.

Experience college, or the military, or work for several years. Try living independently from your parents for a few years first. And if your (or your friend's) significant other EVER cheats or treats them badly - this is NOT someone you shoudl stick with... no matter what. People don't change just because you want them to.... and people don't change just because you get married. These poblems usually escalate. And getting married too you will only compound the problems.

The next thing you know, you are married, can't afford to keep a roof over your head, have a baby that you are too poor, stressed and tired to properly care for, and you are at each other's throat over the littlest things.

Sure weddings are all dressy and pretty and you get to feel like a princess.... but that's not what happens after the big party is all over.

In order to handle the adult issues that arise in marriage, you have to first learn how to be an adult on your own.

It's not what you THINK it is when you are 15... or 18 for that matter.

This is one of those things you don't WANT to have to regret doing later.

If you are meant to be, then a LONG period of dating and then engagement will serve you well and lead to a happier marriage later.

Answer 4

There's more to life than marriage. First of all, Michelle and Paul aren't getting married. He's going to spend all is time with his friends, sleeping with other girls and totally disrespect Michelle before she turns 18. And the rest of you guys will probably find something you don't like about your boyfriends and break up as well. There's nothing wrong with that, it's called growing up.

Life is really hard and you don't want to start your early years married, not able to afford to travel or buy a house. Instead of planning a wedding, why not all you girls plan a two week trip to Europe as a graduation gift? And focus on college. These are the best years of your life, so enjoy them!

Answer 5

Yes, you're all rather young to be making life-long commitments at this age. Maybe these are the right mates for you, and maybe you will end up marrying them... but there is no need to rush into it.
You will all change, mentally, emotionally, and physically, as much over the next four or five years as you have over the past five... and you'll change even more over the five years after that. So you have to respect that in each other, and give yourselves room to develop and grow.

I also think Paul, despite whatever sincere love he may have for Michelle, is far too irresponsible to be a husband - if he's gotten her "almost" pregnant three times already, then he's not considering her health or safety, or her maturity level. He's an adult now, and old enough to know better, so he needs to stop taking advantage of her innocent affection and start taking some responsibility for how his actions affect others.

I'm not saying your relationships can't or won't last, I'm just saying it's far too early to be taking it to the next level. Build your castles in the air, but don't move into them yet!

Answer 6

Let me tell you a little story:

Me and Dean were best friends in high school. We sat next to each other in class and we ALWAYS hung out after school.
We thought we'd be best friends forever.
Then I went to college, he went to university and we both started working. We still meet up and talk once in a while but it's just not the same.

I'm 24 now, by the way. The point is you people are still finding out who you are. Paul & Michelle, Austin & Lauren, even you and Matt may like each other now but I guarantee you all WILL change as you graduate and move out into the adult world.

So please, wait and see what you all become before you decide to settle down. If not, you may end up being stuck to people you never really knew.

By the way, on the bright side, I have other best friends who I connect with very well.

Answer 7

Well Brit I think you answered your own question. If you feel the need to ask "Do you think we are too young?" Then you are. There must be some lingering doubt or you wouldn't feel compelled to ask.

Believe me when I say this. You will change so much from 15-25 you won't know who you were at that age. I'm 24, and I can't even have imaged that I would have changed so much in the past 10, let alone 5, years. As far as I'm concerned no one should get married under 21 or 22.

Answer 8

You are all way too young and have no idea what is takes to make a family and marriage work. 5 months, 8 months that is nothing that is less than the time most people spend planning a wedding. I am sorry I doubt you will last, most don't. I know, I have been with my husband since I was 13 and a good portion of that fighting or separated until we were in out mid-twenties and were able to stop being stupid and selfish. I say stop planning your lives with the boys and plan YOUR life such as college. If you last then great you at least have a degree and might be able to support a family. If not your husbands will be working crap jobs, you too and you will not be able to afford your children and the time you have with them will be strained because you are both tired and stressed out from struggling financially.

Answer 9

First off the state wont allow this marriage without Michelle being legal by being 18 or with her parents consent. How do they plan on getting married when their relationship is looked down upon as rape?
I think you all are too young because plans and peoples futures change when you get older, while it is fun to talk about this now some of you might not be friends or with your partners in a couple years or even months. 5 months and 8 months is way to short to be thinking about any of this. I am 21 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we aren't even thinking about marriage because there is so much we want to do that that isn't on our list right now. Take your time growing up. Cherish your time here with the people you love and think about that later in life. You can't even drive yet or get into clubs.

Answer 10

Wow. While its natural to THINK about these sorts of things I think all of you lack the maturity needed to make this sort of decision yet. To be frank 5 months and 8 months are NOT very long relationships. And if your friend is having pregnancy scares constantly, shes clearly not responsible enough to make this sort of decision. Since you are the one questioning this, perhaps you're the one who can talk sense into your two friends.

Bottom line, finish high school, go to college, grow up a lot and then decide if you want to marry this guy.

PS: I dont know about where you live, but I'm pretty sure in my state paul could be arrested and tried as an adult for having sex with a 15 year old.