I have been seeing a girl (as friends) for 3+ weeks now and have grown quite fond of her. We have played pool, we jog together, danced at a wedding, watched a movie, she made me dinner at her house... lots of fun things, but she is very strict in her Mexican/ Catholic culture and I am wondering if it is too soon to ask if I can be her boyfriend. I believe that she /does/ have an interest in me as a boyfriend and that is why I don't know if I should push it on her too soon. The timing never seems right to ask her because her culture is so much different than what I am used to. Also, since she isn't allowed to be flirtatious in any way, it makes my feelings seem one-sided. I could use all of the help I can get. I'm looking for some good advice on how to get this relationship going without the fear of offending her beliefs. Also, some creative ideas for asking her or some spanish words of love would be appreaciated. Thx in advance!
2007-06-22 04:52:04 · 8 answers · asked by michael_j_winters 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
btw... I'm not catholic, but I would have to convert if we ever were to get married.... also I do speak a little spanish ;) adios amigos!
2007-06-22 05:15:49 · update #1
Hello,
I dated Latinas and am married to a lady from Mexico. The only analogy I can think of here is that she comes from an unusally conservative family much like a strict baptist fundementalist family were it a protestant situation. The Latinas I have met have been very open minded, sexy, liberal et al; not like the Sicilian daughter type. Times have changed in this regard around the world and the Mexican culture is no different.
Many non catholic friends I have are married to Mexicans and the marriages have worked out very well, Where there has been eventual troubles is where you get a real geeky type of husband who never got a dance od date with an English speaking lady, marries a Mexican but never tries to adapt and participate in her culture let alone learn her language; in time she finds another.
Learning the language opens a door to another culture. I suggest you get out in the evenings and kick the doors off the hinges at the nearest Spanish class schools to get in and start learning so you can communicate better with family or relatives of hers. Don't get worried about who gets kicked off what island or Paris Hilton's jail time... your time will be better spent on Spanish. Keep an open mind and take in her culture. Ask questions, rent movies or documentaries on the history of Mexico, go to all the fiestas or dances you can and see how close family bonds really are in that culture. You will find that when you share the culture and speak the language you will get far more interest and respect; even from police and paramilitary that I encountered in Colombia for example.LOL, you will do better than the ultimate beach or model type guy (that dosen't speak Spanish) with many of the ladies.
In summation, how you do in winning her over all boils down to interest and attitude along with co-operation in her culture.
Te quiero - I love you
Quiero tenerte a mi lado. - I want you at my side.
Estoy muy feliz contigo. - I am very happy with you.
Vamos a trabajar como un equipo. - We are going to work as a team.
Espero que tus padres esten feliz con nuestra situacion. - I hope your parents are happy with our situacion/
Good luck,
Michael Kelly
2007-06-22 05:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by Michael Kelly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you Catholic? Can you attend the same church as her family does? That's always a good place to meet the family and be friendly towards the whole clan.
Does she have brothers,or cousins or any male relatives you can hang out with? It helps a lot if a male in the family can vouch for you, and very few strictly reared Mexican girls go out and find their own boyfriends. They are usually introduced to the family through one of the cousins or uncles or aunts or whatever. So joining in on family activities is a really important step.
If you don't speak Spanish already, sign up for a night school class, or buy a computer program (Talk to Me is a good one) and start work on it. Let her, and her family, know what you are doing and use your limited Spanish as much as possible, with all the family members.
When you court a gal in Mexico (or in Spain) you are courting the wholel family, so don't rush to pick up words of love. That will come later.
Buena suerte!
2007-06-22 05:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that, if you intend to court this woman, you are courting her Mexican heritage as well. If you marry her, you are marrying her Mexican heritage as well. Her Mexican heritage is obviously very important to her. It doesn't sound as if she's going to give that up for anything. If you can accept that, then by all means ask her out.
I know what you mean when you say it never seems like the right time to ask her out. When it comes, be ready. You don't want to choke because it might be awhile before the next opportunity come along.
2007-06-22 07:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by Daver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always found Filipino history fascinating (I'm half, hahah) It's clear that you're passionate about this; if you wrote such a book, I'd absolutely read it. Just these few facts excited me. The connections between the Mexicans and the Filipinos, as well as Spain's role, are certainly hazy.
2016-05-17 10:51:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, just be yourself. Mexican/Catholic girls are worth the effort. You will score major points by respecting her and her family. Try to become friends with her dad. Bring flowers to her mother. Ask her if you can go to Sunday Mass with her. Good luck!
2007-06-22 04:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here are some excellent words of love en espanol for ya :)
Mi vida es como el día después de afeito las bolas.
Mi culo pica y tomé una ducha.
These will get the Agua de Gata flowing :D
2007-06-22 07:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by malachi_1616 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well so many ppl come to me for advice and they call me there advice columnist cuz i give great advice. so back to your quiestion(s).....you need to let her know that you want to be her boyfriend and that you are in very deep like (not love) with her. so in about a week or two ask her if you can be her boufriend. make it subtle and discreet but make sure you do this in a kind thoughtful way. make sure you add in: if i can't be your boyfriend NOW hen can i later depending on your culture? i hope i helped
2007-06-22 05:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am a catholic myself and i understand what you mean. no sex before marriage, no divorce, no abortion, no cohibitation, no petting before sex etc. can you accept? if not its tough. we take our faith seriously. its a matter of hell or heaven.
if you really keen in her, learn more about catholic faith. really.
2007-06-22 05:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋